Is anyone out there that feels the same??

[GodsGirl25]

Hi. I'm new to the boards so I wanted to say hi to everyone and introduce myself. I'm twenty-five years old. To give you the short version of my testimony, I developed an ED when I was fourteen and began to self-harm when I was sixteen. This was all accompanied by pretty severe depression. I started seeing a counselor and was put on medication when I was 18, but decided after while that neither of those things were helping and quit. No one could do anything about it because I was an "adult". Last year, I finally decided that this life was not working. Having been a Christian since I was seven, I knew that this life was not what God had for me. I applied to a residential treatment program and after seven and a half months, returned home completely delivered from the bondage of the ED and self-harm. I've been doing really well for the past four and a half months, but the last few weeks I've really been struggling. I've been eating, but definitely only the minimum amount that I need to and have lost ten pounds without even really trying. The scale and weighing myself is a huge thing for me. When I was in treatment, I got weighed once a week and I was ok with that.... I've kept to that pretty good since I returned home, but in the last few weeks, I've started weighing like everyday again, sometimes more than once a day. In my heart, I know who I am in Christ and do not want to fall back into the bondage that I was in. This is so hard, though. It's a long story, but I don't really have an accountablility partner because I just moved from Pennsylvania to Louisiana. I know no one and haven't found a good church yet. Even though I know God is there, it feels so much like He's MIA right now. I feel so completely alone. This is so hard.....

 

[Soulwings]

for you. I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through... one thing I want to ask though, is please not use any numbers that may trigger (weight, BMI, caloric intake - ages are fine). That being said...

I'm glad that you've found this site... hopefully you will find support that you need here; the ED board isn't terribly active but there are some pretty awesome people here. My story is pretty similar to yours.

I'm glad to hear that you've been doing pretty well for the past few months, but struggling the past few weeks... oww. I know how much things can hurt, and I also know what it's like to want to weigh yourself more than is necessary. Is there any way that you can get rid of your scale, or put it somewhere where you won't want to get it out so frequently? I know that for me, the suggestion of throwing away my scale is a terrifying one, so I'm not going to expect you to do that (heh)... but maybe hide it or give it to someone (once you get to know someone, that is).

I hope some of what I said is helpful. I'm here if you need to talk; visitor messages or PMs (private messages) are fine... I'll try to reply ASAP if you do indeed decide to get in touch with me. If you want to know more about me, just ask.

 

[Detai]

Hi. I'm new to the boards so I wanted to say hi to everyone and introduce myself. I'm twenty-five years old. To give you the short version of my testimony, I developed an ED when I was fourteen and began to self-harm when I was sixteen. This was all accompanied by pretty severe depression. I started seeing a counselor and was put on medication when I was 18, but decided after while that neither of those things were helping and quit. No one could do anything about it because I was an "adult". Last year, I finally decided that this life was not working. Having been a Christian since I was seven, I knew that this life was not what God had for me. I applied to a residential treatment program and after seven and a half months, returned home completely delivered from the bondage of the ED and self-harm. I've been doing really well for the past four and a half months, but the last few weeks I've really been struggling. I've been eating, but definitely only the minimum amount that I need to and have lost ten pounds without even really trying. The scale and weighing myself is a huge thing for me. When I was in treatment, I got weighed once a week and I was ok with that.... I've kept to that pretty good since I returned home, but in the last few weeks, I've started weighing like everyday again, sometimes more than once a day. In my heart, I know who I am in Christ and do not want to fall back into the bondage that I was in. This is so hard, though. It's a long story, but I don't really have an accountablility partner because I just moved from Pennsylvania to Louisiana. I know no one and haven't found a good church yet. Even though I know God is there, it feels so much like He's MIA right now. I feel so completely alone. This is so hard.....

I have put on about 40 pounds in the last 2 years that I need to take off. I can see that the effects on my health are not good. I also like to weigh in every day which I have been avoiding because I don't want to think about it. If you want to start some kind of a program where we work together on this kind of thing, I will work with you. Maybe we can keep each other accountable.

 

[GodsGirl25]

Sorry about the numbers thing, Soul... You would think I'd think of that being triggering.... Sorry, I will keep that in mind.... Thanks very much!!

Detai, What do u have in mind with the accountablility thing??

 

[Detai]

Sorry about the numbers thing, Soul... You would think I'd think of that being triggering.... Sorry, I will keep that in mind.... Thanks very much!!

Detai, What do u have in mind with the accountablility thing??

I was thinking maybe putting together a system to keep to report to each other tabs on how we were doing. Just an idea.

 

[BeautifullyMe]

I'm out here and I am in a very similar position as you! I'm even the same age. I wish there was some way I could contact you, but since I am new here, I cannot PM you or get your e-mail. I doubt you are checking this thread anymore as it was posted in May and it is now June. I am a bit sad to think that maybe you could have been a really awesome accountability partner but there is no way to reach you! Maybe one of the MODS can help?
-Anna

 

[jupiterinka]

Hello! I've been in a similar situation, so I can completely understand where you are coming from. I have mostly recovered from my eating disorder (I say mostly because there are still self-image issues that God is helping me resolve, but I now have eaten normally for a long time). I would be more than happy to help all of you with this issue. I think we need to have support for each other in terms of our self-image issues because even if we do start having "normal" eating behaviors, those scars still remain since we have skewed ideas (I believe) of our appearance and self-worth.

 

[goldenviolet]

MODHAT:

hi! i'm dee. i just wanted to let you know that staff was here. literally. if you need a shoulder, we're very handy. bless your hearts. this forum can be very slow. some replies sit abit. you can always post to staff, or pm us to come visit a thread like this. we are here in this ministry just for you. being new has some limitations on the site: don't give up. just remember this community has been made for you and you are very valued here. xo dee

 

[goldenviolet]

just me peeking back in. slow as usual.... but we try. lol xo

 

[the.Sheepdog]

and if you get tire of hugging on GoldenViolet try me! us sheepdoggies are warm cuddly and will love on you for ages! and I am feircely protective and will protect you from wolves and other bad stuff.

I can also pray for you and listen. Oh and promise not to chew your slippers too much. well maybe just one!