Welcome Triceta! I hope you will find support and encouragement here on Christian Forums.
I have been struggling with "my" faith for 50 years, and though I have had long periods of anxiety and shorter ones of depression, it would be pertinent of me to think that I know what you're going through.
Not long ago a friend of mine - a Christian - became deeply afraid of being alone, of dying, and he questioned the validity of his spiritual security in Jesus, and got so depressed he admitted himself to a local psych clinic so he wouldn't be along at night (he is a widower). I visited him as often as I could, we went for long walks together, we talked about the many promises of God. I and some other friends prayed hard that he would be released from the awful thoughts that were plaguing him. After a couple of months he did improve a lot. So I am aware that these things happen, and I know it's a struggle to go through them. But I hope you can find someone here (and even more important, someone close in your geographical vicinity) that will let you talk their ear off, someone who will be there for you, not so much to tell you what to do, but someone to listen, and be a reminder of the fact that "Jesus will never ever leave you!" He loves you. He even "delights" in you. He enjoys spending time with you. He sees enormous potential in you. Don't struggle with "your" faith like I did with mine. Ask the Lord for HIS faith to become real in your life.
When you have posted enough messages on the forum, you will be able to start personal conversations with people that you think you can share with and get encouragement from. There are quite a few people here who seem to have that gift. So don't be shy!
I pray that God will show you just how much He loves you, that he will show you the multitude of blessings He has to share with you!
