- Jan 30, 2023
- 401
- 84
- 27
- Country
- Germany
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Greetings everyone. My name is Nils, I live in Germany and I'm 25.
I wish to leave my testimony here too. I have Asperger's and ADHD BTW, and that is as personal as I desire to get.
As far as my walk with God is concerned, well, I always had thoughts about something spiritual, something we do not see. As a kid I did sometimes pray to God, but I didn't know who God could be. I was taught about Jesus in church and religious class, that he died on the cross for our sins, but never saw it as important. In October/November 2014, at age 17, I realized that this life cannot be all. There must be an afterlife. But it took me three more years to really accept Jesus. I only knew Jesus as a moral teacher, but not someone who claims to be God. OK, at the same time (in 2014) I did search for people dying and coming back to life. One did mention heaven and Jesus. But I really didn't believe it was true. It was like "OK, all those people just dreamt."
Then, in July of 2017, I for the first time saw a Christian YT channel from a female user who was, I believe, a Pentecostal. I had seen some Christian videos before, but an entire channel? No. Her beliefs, as far as I am concerned, were a bit weird, but all I knew is that being an Atheist was no option for me. Two and a half months late, I then saw another Christian YouTuber commenting under a Klaus Kinski interview, and I couldn't help, but too went on his channel, and was now even more convinced. Three weeks afterwards, I went on an evangelical website which really explained the entire gospel, and then another one, which was in my language. Now I was 100 %ly sure what truth is. I am not sure if which day I confessed Jesus as LORD with my mouth. My first two months as a Christian were extremely fruitful.
Sadly, as 2018 came I began to backslide FOR YEARS. How? Well, I just couldn't overcome many addictions. I was a pathetic example for a Christian. I was very prideful all over 2018. I would often debate online, and didn't want to lose. I didn't glorify the LORD. The pride eventually turned into depression. I even fell out of the Christian religion for a while and returned more than once. In December 2022 I had enough. I prayed to God that he has mercy on me and may "rebuild" me again. When my cousin died earlier this year - she was only 20 - I realized I had to get serious, stop justifying my hateful behavior and repent. I needed to allow the Holy Spirit to work on me. I still have not won the battle, but I am getting closer. I have overcome my gaming addiction, fornication among some other sins I may not be getting into, but I am far from perfect (1 John 1:8). However, some things I still miss. I need to find someone to baptize me.
I do not really have a statement of faith now. My beliefs changed very often, yet our authority is the Bible, and it is not so hard to understand IMHO. It's only hard if you listen to people's sermons. So, please don't send sermons to me. It can be refreshing to watch them, but they can also be dangerous like junk food, for there's only one truth. I do believe the following things tho:
-the Bible as God's word (I use the KJV, but I ain't KJV only, don't worry)
-the Trinity as described in 1 John 5:7
-hell is real
-salvation by grace, no works
-discipleship, including baptism in Jesus' name and the LORD's supper
I wish to leave my testimony here too. I have Asperger's and ADHD BTW, and that is as personal as I desire to get.
As far as my walk with God is concerned, well, I always had thoughts about something spiritual, something we do not see. As a kid I did sometimes pray to God, but I didn't know who God could be. I was taught about Jesus in church and religious class, that he died on the cross for our sins, but never saw it as important. In October/November 2014, at age 17, I realized that this life cannot be all. There must be an afterlife. But it took me three more years to really accept Jesus. I only knew Jesus as a moral teacher, but not someone who claims to be God. OK, at the same time (in 2014) I did search for people dying and coming back to life. One did mention heaven and Jesus. But I really didn't believe it was true. It was like "OK, all those people just dreamt."
Then, in July of 2017, I for the first time saw a Christian YT channel from a female user who was, I believe, a Pentecostal. I had seen some Christian videos before, but an entire channel? No. Her beliefs, as far as I am concerned, were a bit weird, but all I knew is that being an Atheist was no option for me. Two and a half months late, I then saw another Christian YouTuber commenting under a Klaus Kinski interview, and I couldn't help, but too went on his channel, and was now even more convinced. Three weeks afterwards, I went on an evangelical website which really explained the entire gospel, and then another one, which was in my language. Now I was 100 %ly sure what truth is. I am not sure if which day I confessed Jesus as LORD with my mouth. My first two months as a Christian were extremely fruitful.
Sadly, as 2018 came I began to backslide FOR YEARS. How? Well, I just couldn't overcome many addictions. I was a pathetic example for a Christian. I was very prideful all over 2018. I would often debate online, and didn't want to lose. I didn't glorify the LORD. The pride eventually turned into depression. I even fell out of the Christian religion for a while and returned more than once. In December 2022 I had enough. I prayed to God that he has mercy on me and may "rebuild" me again. When my cousin died earlier this year - she was only 20 - I realized I had to get serious, stop justifying my hateful behavior and repent. I needed to allow the Holy Spirit to work on me. I still have not won the battle, but I am getting closer. I have overcome my gaming addiction, fornication among some other sins I may not be getting into, but I am far from perfect (1 John 1:8). However, some things I still miss. I need to find someone to baptize me.
I do not really have a statement of faith now. My beliefs changed very often, yet our authority is the Bible, and it is not so hard to understand IMHO. It's only hard if you listen to people's sermons. So, please don't send sermons to me. It can be refreshing to watch them, but they can also be dangerous like junk food, for there's only one truth. I do believe the following things tho:
-the Bible as God's word (I use the KJV, but I ain't KJV only, don't worry)
-the Trinity as described in 1 John 5:7
-hell is real
-salvation by grace, no works
-discipleship, including baptism in Jesus' name and the LORD's supper
