intimacy limits

[InChristsJoy]

Hello...I am a 31 year old christian female, engaged to be married in June of 2004. I would like a christian opinion on the limitations of intimacy between me and my fiance'. We are waiting for sex until marriage and are true to honoring God in the fullest. Should we draw the line at kissing? Ive heard mixed opinions on "petting" and such. Any opinions are appreciated.

 

[BlueKnight]

It'll be a lot easier to stay away from going all the way if you don't go near it. Stopping at Kissing is a good idea. Although "petting" may not be necessarily wrong, it makes it VERY easy to slip - and in that moment, your mind will probably justify going ahead and having sex.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Ummm okay i dont know about you having any justification to say having sex is ok (if you are honoring Him, then honor each if you break a promise to each other about not going there.....well.....)

What is petting, the petting i know is done in public No way am I NOT gonna hug and pull and pniche, tickle and squeez, no way no how. They need that and like it its annoying but you miss it........but if you are drawing the line aat kissing petting is a go IMO. Now in a dim lit room door shut just you and him....thats called coping-a-feel....totally different.

Warrior Poet

 

[SlowRoasted]

i would say that if you are waiting for sex then wait for kissing too. For one thing it will make the kissing so much more special when you can finally do it on your wedding day, also it will make it so much easier to not go farther in your physical relationship. My gf and I arent kissing until we are married, and yes its hard, but i know it would be harder if we were kissing and trying not to have sex.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You've got 7 months.

Sex is all kinds of fun, but in a marriage (mine anyway) it's not a high priority. This is funny cause before you are married it's a huge issue. So all I have to say is dont' neglect building a strong foundation with each other. Messing around will make you ignore that.
It's easier to say "Don't mess around" than it is to actually not mess around.
Proceed with caution. Don't get carried away.

 

[Mrs K 2004]

I would say to kiss, hug and be affectionate... but be very careful because the closer you get to "the line" the more likely you are to cross it!!

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

Petting can lead to more. It will be harder to refrain from sex.

I heard somewhere the more you do outside of marriage, the less special it is during marriage. I don't know if it's true or not. But I think it would be awesome to wait until marriage. The longer you wait, I think the more special it is.

 

[Warrior Poet]

I think we need a working definition of petting.

Warrior Poet

 

[msjones21]

Petting is fondling one another in a sexual manner. Public displays of affection are any romantic actions that are done in the public eye.

InChristsJoy, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. My advice is to wait. If you aren't going to refrain from kissing I would recommend not going any farther than that. If you do kiss, don't let it be a long, wet, passionate kiss and don't do it while pressed against each other. Remember, a kiss is like taking the first step in the direction of sexual intercourse. Why unwrap the gift of purity in stages instead of saving the entire gift for the wedding night?

 

[InChristsJoy]

Thanks to all of you for your opinions!

 

[Warrior Poet]

Petting is fondling one another in a sexual manner. Public displays of affection are any romantic actions that are done in the public eye.

Well my definition of petting has nothing to do with fondling.What you discribed is what I said .....coping-a-feel, which will lead to more there is almost no doubt. THE PDA's you are referring to..well a PDA is pretty self explanitory.

Dictionry.com says:

Petting;
The act or practice of amorously embracing, kissing, and caressing one's partner.

If you go by this defintion petting is out of the question because it consists of kissing (since you have decided not to do that). I have always considered MY definition of petting: poking squeezing, hugging, tickling, pinching, that kinda stuff.....I love to do all those. I am a physical guy touch means alot, an embracing hug can be amazing, but behind a closed door is something totally different.

Looks like I need to find a new name for "my" petting.

Warrior Poet

 

[lil_god_lova]

hmm yeah no kissing is a really hard thing to do esp. if you have been kissing this person before. However the benefits of it are huge. Tho i totally understand if you decide to kiss. Believe me i hated this idea then when i actually was halfedforced (by myself) into doing it, it was the best decision of all.
yeah dont do petting. in previous relationships i've been there and done that... It brings immense guilt and hatred towards yourself as well as a disrespect towards the other person. Just watch your thoughts and keep him watching his, and if they get out of line, back right off.

 

[InChristsJoy]

God is so great! Ask and you shall receive! Well, I am at complete peace knowing the limitations we have set are right with God. Thank you so much for your time and opinions! God Bless all of you!

 

[IslandBreeze]

i would say that if you are waiting for sex then wait for kissing too.

I disagree. Sex and kissing are two very different things. There's a lot that you can't/shouldn't do before marriage...why deprive yourself something as innocent as kissing?