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interesting quote

mina

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"To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with" Mark Twain

I agree with this. It just kind of summed up how I feel about being single. It makes me happier to share with someone and there's so much I want to share in life with my mate. And I know we can share joy with close friends and with other family, but there seems to be a lack of those relationships in my life; it just seems few and far between. Thanksgiving in my family is kind of weird, I felt sort of alone, so I guess I was thinking a bit too much about being single today and wishing I had someone to share the joy of the season with. I hope everyone else is having a very happy and blessed thanksgiving.
 

mina

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My family acts really weird at holidays, it's tense and my brother's always angry and acting like an idiot. So we eat and it's awkward and my brother's rantng and raving about something stupid and my sister inlaw is asking me stupid questions about when am i going to get married. Then my brother and his family leaves and my parents go walking and do stuff together and I'm just kinda left there. So it's kind of like everything is super tense and then it's just super boring and I'm wishing for actual conversation. I feel sort of ignored and I dunno, I just wish i had a family of my own. Holidays make me insane crazy happy and I want to share that with someone, instead of just feeling like a bother.
 
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Eagle_Wings

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I totally understand! In fact last night as I was coming home I was actually longing for the headache of trying to decide who's family we'd be spending what holidays with.....how desperate is that !?
 
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TriptychR

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I enjoyed being with my family tonight, although they seem to like holding these small, polite, covert battles when they're together. There's this whole ordeal over the Christmas giftgiving process that the family gets into under my grandmother's nose, since they don't want to upset her. It's actually interesting to dissect, but I won't get into it here.

My cousin, born the same year as me, brought his fiance to the dinner, though. No one said anything about my not having a date in years to me, but there's still some pressure felt.
 
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covenantwmn

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I join you all in how you feel. On the other hand, I have a really wonderful family and we always have fun, lots of fun. My brother's my pastor as well, so we all have that in common. However, I still long for a special person to enjoy it all with. I was married for a long time, I remember how nice it was and I would like it again. Holidays are just hard, no way round it. I've tried volunteering, hosting, etc., there's still a missing piece. I am so thankful however to be able to go the LORD at the end of the day and pour my heart out to Him, knowing that He hears and understands. Blessings all.
in Him, Leslie
 
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NicelyAged

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All you girls could elieviate what you're feeling with 1 simple word....YES.....YES...
You see how easy that is? The next time a guy approaches you, feel YES, accept YES, communicate YES. Don't worry about if this is THE GUY or not. Just say and communciate YES, and go from there. What's the worst that can happen? You go out and it doesn't work out. Ahhhh, that's rough. But at least you tried. Oh, excuse me. I forgot, God doesn't want peope who try. He wants robots that just obey commands.

Christian women would be amazed at what would happen in their lives if they just adopted the simple word of YES.
 
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ummidrinkcherrycoke

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NicelyAged said:
Christian women would be amazed at what would happen in their lives if they just adopted the simple word of YES.

I think that Christian women would be amazed to find strong Christian men that have the balls to ask them out in the first place.

Although you're right some of the blame could be put on the women; I feel that most of the problem stems from the large amount men who fear the possibility of facing rejection so they don't ask at all.

mina said:
Guys don't ask me out so I can't say "yes". Heck, I can't even say "no". lol
See in order to say "yes", there has to be someone asking a question.

I think I've heard a "no" or a "no thanks" from you before. I can't remember if it was a question or a statement that I made but I do remember your response was..... uhhhhh "no.":cry: I hate rejection. It's ruined my life.:sick:

I feel quite the opposite than most of you guys when it comes to the holidays. I think that It's a great time to be single. Not having to find the "right" present or trying to meet up to anyone's romantic expectations is great. I've been in relationships during the holiday's before and it's always so stressful. To many expectations. On thanksgiving I ate until I was almost sick, took a nap on grandma's couch, watched some football, went home and went to bed. It was great.

I'm going to start my look for the "right" woman some time in January. Or maybe I'll wait till mid Febuary.
 
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LadyBlue

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mina said:
"To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with" Mark Twain

I agree with this. It just kind of summed up how I feel about being single. It makes me happier to share with someone and there's so much I want to share in life with my mate. And I know we can share joy with close friends and with other family, but there seems to be a lack of those relationships in my life; it just seems few and far between. Thanksgiving in my family is kind of weird, I felt sort of alone, so I guess I was thinking a bit too much about being single today and wishing I had someone to share the joy of the season with. I hope everyone else is having a very happy and blessed thanksgiving.

This quote kind of made me think .... about having someone to share it with.
I think this is true to an extent ... but the person that you're sharing with doesn't have to be a boyfriend or spouse ... it can be a close friend, some one in your family ... any one that you feel close to ...
It also made me think about the people in the world that have no one in the world to share holidays with ... ok, families can be annoying, but at least you are not alone, at least you have family ... you mentioned that having close friends that are far and few between ... but it sounds like you have a few of them. I'm not from the US, but from what I gather - thanksgiving, is meant to be time of celebrating what you do have ... not reflecting on what you don't have. I'm sure that you're life isn't completely awful ... and that there are many people in the world, who would be thanksful to be in your position - to have food and shelter, to have family and friends.
I hope I'm not sounding as though I'm trying to lecture ... I just wanted to offer another point of view ... I hope that all the people who are feeling lonely in this thread ... start to feel better :)
 
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mina

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I know I have a lot to be thankful for, everyone does. I didn't say I wasn't thankful. I was just sharing some thoughts on a quote I found. Why is it that whenever we do share unsatisfied thoughts about singleness, it's automatically wrong? I find the alone aspect of singleness during this time of the year to be hard and frustrating. I'm thankful for my family, but they don't understand singleness or why I am a Christian. I am the only Christian in my family and I do feel very alone and long to share life with someone. Both of my brothers have said they hate me. I'm scared of one of my brothers. My parents do treat me weird because of my beliefs. I'm sorry that you find this something to condemn me for admiting that I don't enjoy this. I really don't have another human being(friend, family, or otherwise) to share the joys of life with. I try to give a lot of time and friendship to other people that I know are lonely also or who are in lonely situations. It never always works. I just think it's a nice idea to have someone else to share in life with. I wasn't trying to make this sound like a whining post, I was mearly trying to express and explain an idea, but I guess I didn't succeed.
 
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mina

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ummidrinkcherrycoke said:
I think I've heard a "no" or a "no thanks" from you before. I can't remember if it was a question or a statement that I made but I do remember your response was..... uhhhhh "no.":cry: I hate rejection. It's ruined my life.:sick:

.

lol, I didn't realize your question was made in sincerity. Plus it was on a message board which kind of killed the romance.
 
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ummidrinkcherrycoke

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mina said:
lol, I didn't realize your question was made in sincerity. Plus it was on a message board which kind of killed the romance.
Me.. Insincere.... Never. Sincerity is all I know. I almost know it as well as I know how to kill the romance...... It's like a gift.
mina said:
Why is it that whenever we do share unsatisfied thoughts about singleness, it's automatically wrong? I find the alone aspect of singleness during this time of the year to be hard and frustrating........I wasn't trying to make this sound like a whining post, I was mearly trying to express and explain an idea, but I guess I didn't succeed.
I totally agree...or at least understand...I think. Although I do think there are a lot of whining posts, I think that most of the annoying ones are posted by men. If I was a single Christian female I'd be whining all over the place. I don't think that it's wrong at all. It must suck to be called to patiently wait for someone else to pursue you. Especially since most the men that you want to pursue you are too afraid to initiate. In this forum there's post after post of guys saying "I can't find anyone, I can't find anyone." While there's an equal amount of posts by woman saying "why doesn't anyone want to date me." It's retarded.

Women- keep whining
Men- get off your ass and do something.
 
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sunshiinedays

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"To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with" Mark Twain




I totally agree. For me it's also the little things. Someone to share the big joys as well as all of the little experiences - the smaller and quieter happy moments in my life... like when I watch my kids do something cute, or laughing at a joke or seeing something on tv together. It would be so much better to have someone to share the smiles... someone there to say "Hey, did you see that too?"
 
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LadyBlue

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mina said:
I know I have a lot to be thankful for, everyone does. I didn't say I wasn't thankful. I was just sharing some thoughts on a quote I found. Why is it that whenever we do share unsatisfied thoughts about singleness, it's automatically wrong? I find the alone aspect of singleness during this time of the year to be hard and frustrating. I'm thankful for my family, but they don't understand singleness or why I am a Christian. I am the only Christian in my family and I do feel very alone and long to share life with someone. Both of my brothers have said they hate me. I'm scared of one of my brothers. My parents do treat me weird because of my beliefs. I'm sorry that you find this something to condemn me for admiting that I don't enjoy this. I really don't have another human being(friend, family, or otherwise) to share the joys of life with. I try to give a lot of time and friendship to other people that I know are lonely also or who are in lonely situations. It never always works. I just think it's a nice idea to have someone else to share in life with. I wasn't trying to make this sound like a whining post, I was mearly trying to express and explain an idea, but I guess I didn't succeed.

Ok, I would never try and condemn someone for expressing their opinion. I'm sorry if you took it that way ... I am extrememly open minded ... I just like to look at every situation from every different angle ... that's probably why I am so indecisive ...
Anyway- I empathize with you Mina, I can completely understand what you are saying. I am one of the only single, christian people that I know ... meeting someone who is decent, male and christian can be pretty hard. Everyone in my family, is always hassling me to call ths guy or the other ...to be in a relationship with someone anyway.
Honestly, I only want you to have happiness in your life, and I thought that by offering you a dfferent way of looking at the situation, you might start to feel better.
You have every right to express your opinion ... it's one of the basic right's of people to be able to speak their truth, and not be condemned for it ... and hopefully be understood too. Everyone wants to feel heard ... :)
Whine as much as you want ... I just wanted to offer another perspective - sorry if it offended you:)
 
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