Interesting Question from my girlfriend.

[SOLDOUT4HIM]

Hello, I have a quasi-parenting question. My GF asked me if something happened to her parents and we were married, would I be willing to take in her (currently) 1 1/2 yr. old and 3 yr. old brothers. What do you guys think that are parents?

 

[Katydid]

I think that if you marry your GF, then you should be prepared to do that. Obviously it is what she wants. If for some reason you don't want that responsibility, then you should discuss this with her and see if that is something she could deal with. If this isn't your question, then could you elaborate please on what you are asking.

 

[heron]

It's a question that really shakes the reality of life into you. But you'll find all kinds of realities like that as you get older. Those things keep us humble and remind us of the real reasons we work and have a family.

She sounds protective of her siblings, and that's a good thing. Their childhood won't last forever, but if their alternative is foster homes, then you'll be doing a wonderful thing.

Most people enter a relationship with fun and contentment in mind...but those things have to mix in with what life brings you anyway.

 

[I'ddie4him]

I agree with this. I would gladly take in any on my neices of nephews if something happened to any of my brothers and sisters. I don't think that my wife would disagree with me on this.

 

[BeanMak]

I'm in agreement for taking them in. If anything had happened to my parents, my husband and I would have gladly taken my younger brother!

 

[acodno]

One thing you have to think about is that when you marry someone their family is now your family. Would you take in your own sibling if they needed you? If so then it should be no different with your girlfriends, if she is your wife at the time. It is a lot of responsiblity but that is what families are for, you would be doing the right thing by taking them in.

 

[Princessperky]

When I married DH (before I married) I knew I would love to take care of his nieces and nephews. It is a good idea to notice this sort of thing, before the marriage. BUt be realistic, kids are not easy when acquired from day one, it gets harder as they are older and especially if stress caused the transition (like there is another way?)

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

It's not only proper to do such it's the order of thins really. Espeically if you are the eldest male etc. If they had an older brother, older then his sister it'd sorta be his duty first then on down the line.

I agree, I'd take em in, not jes for the reasons above but also what can happen to children who lose their parents young an git shoved into the states system. It would be far better to raise them yoursef then the state shippin em off somewheres.

 

[heron]

...and then do the math...
If the kids are 1.5 and 3 now, they might be 3.5 and 5 when you get married. If something happens to the parents, it might be ten years from now...11.5 and 13. Five years from that, the first one would be legally free to make his own choices. It's not permanent, but it is costly.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

I lost my mom when I was 2 weeks shy of my 8th birthday. My dad was a sorry excuse for a parent. I had other siblings & we basically reared ourselves. As the older ones left home I entered my teens. I was lucky to be able to go live with a widowed aunt (my mom's sister). Then my last 2 yrs. in highschool I lived with my oldest sister (who had married). So even though it was not a "good" life, I was lucky to have family to take me in. If you were married you would have strong feelings for the children already & certainly your GF would not want to see her siblings split up. A lot of people think they can not love another persons child like they would if it was there own biological child. I have 2 adopted children & I love them just as much as any parent could possibly love a biological child. Think of it this way - we are all adopted if we know God as our heavenly father -

Rom 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

If you marry & this situation occurs, you can do this with the Lord's help.

 

[Hisrosebud]

I am glad that you are talking about this now before you are married. It shows a great level of maturity in the both of you. SO many people don't talk about these facts of life until AFTER the honeymoon.


Jane

 

[heron]

SO true!