Interesting observation ...

[jeepgirl1]

I've been poking around the forums, reading posts and such. I've noticed that there are many who have this attitude: "When I was single, I never wanted to be married, never thought I could be happy in that sort of relationship, yadda yadda yadda. Then I met this wonderful person and we got married ... I'm so happy and couldn't imagine being unmarried". Yet I've rarely seen anyone with this attitude: "I've wanted to be married all my life. Everyday I prayed for my future spouse, blah blah blah. But as I grew older, it dawned on me that God's purpose for my life is to be single. I'm so happy, I couldn't imagine being married."

Just kinda makes me think ...

Its obvious when someone who is decidedly single is destined for marriage despite their own personal desires: God brings someone into their lives. Their desire to be unmarried is replaced with a desire for their spouse and their marriage. How about for people who desperately want to get married ... when do they know that their lives are meant to be lived unmarried? Does the desire for marriage ever go away?

 

[remy]

so is this a reverse psychology thing?

 

[jeepgirl1]

so is this a reverse psychology thing?

No, not in the least.

 

[JPPT1974]

I don't believe in divorce unless somebody is abusing other people. Like abusing them not just physcially but also mentally and emotionally. Also I believe in getting counseling and physco-therapy. But if you marry a person for the wrong reasons, it is the devil telling you to marry that person when the person goes from being a "prince into a toad". But God will lead you to the person he wants you to marry. But you have to submit to his will and give everything up to him and all things. If that is what you want.

 

[mina]

I don't know if the desire for marriage does ever go away. I know many older single people never married that still desire marriage. Corrie Ten Boom, if you've ever read any of her books, was a very strong Godly woman yet she was single her whole life and struggled repeatedly with this desire her whole life. Honestly , it scares me ,because the only thing i've ever wanted for myself my whole life is to be a wife and a mom. And I really don't want to struggle with that my whole life. I love God and I want to submit to whatever he wants for me, but this one thing keeps tugging at my heart sooo very hard. I guess it all boils down to that life is not fair. And Jesus never promised that our lifes would be fair or even pleasant. But it's very frustrating to me, because I really don't want anything else. That probably makes me sound like a brat. But I'm not demanding this from God, just begging for mercy in this area of my life.

 

[Out of the Flames]

Its obvious when someone who is decidedly single is destined for marriage despite their own personal desires: God brings someone into their lives. Their desire to be unmarried is replaced with a desire for their spouse and their marriage. How about for people who desperately want to get married ... when do they know that their lives are meant to be lived unmarried? Does the desire for marriage ever go away?

"Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your heart's desires." Psalm 37:4

I think that people whose deepest desire is to get married will be given that in God's good time. But most of us in our infinite impatience already know that His time can feel like an eternity and I attribute that in large part to us not following God as closely as we should. I believe that if we are living for Him, we don't worry so much about things like where our life is headed- we're just content to enjoy the scenery on our way there.

Yet I've rarely seen anyone with this attitude: "I've wanted to be married all my life. Everyday I prayed for my future spouse, blah blah blah. But as I grew older, it dawned on me that God's purpose for my life is to be single. I'm so happy, I couldn't imagine being married.

I think what you're referring to is a change of heart and I do also believe that's possible. I have met decidedly single people who don't feel that it is God's plan in their life to have a spouse or a family and rather feel that it would interfere in their work for God. I think a lot of these people are missionaries stationed in caves around the world without internet access and that's why we never see them on CF.

 

[Tuffguy]

Heres the thing,,,,, it doesn't matter at all what we think our life will be like. God could choose to put the perfect person in our life of not to. Clearly, we're not completely helpless meaning that we can look for a person, keep our eyes out for them, and hope for the best. I really think that people who are constantly worried about marriage have real issues. They need to be a complete person ALONE and all by them selves. How can you be an addition to another person if you're only half of one? I've seen this many times with my friends from church. They got married like 3 months out of college, and started making babies right away. They never enjoyed being single and developing as a separate person and living on their own. I'm so thankful that i've had a good single life because now i fully understand what is missing. If shes always been there how can you appreciate her when she finally is there? I think lots of guys don't appreciate their wives as much as they should because they went right from being a mommas boy to being taken care of by their wife. They're still children, and always will be.
Having been single (unmarried) for my whole life, i can honestly say that when i do get married i'm really gonna be able to understand/appreciate all that she does for me, and fully share my life with her.

 

[Buskanaka]

I don't think that God will give us something just because we really really want it. I have to agree with mina though, it scares me to think that I might be single my whole life, because by submitting to God you have to take what He gives you.

 

[Chris from TN]

Does the desire for marriage ever go away?

I don't know a single person who has ever said "yes, it went away". If anything, it gets stronger.

 

[Sketcher]

Either way, we'll need a lot of God's help to make it through life. Marraige is one gauntlet, the single life is another. If I marry, I will need God's help to be a godly husband and father. If I don't, I will need His help to be a godly single man with self control. Either way is a challenge with its unique privileges and joys, and God can show Himself powerful and gracious either way.

 

[LadyDJ]

I've been poking around the forums, reading posts and such. I've noticed that there are many who have this attitude: "When I was single, I never wanted to be married, never thought I could be happy in that sort of relationship, yadda yadda yadda. Then I met this wonderful person and we got married ... I'm so happy and couldn't imagine being unmarried". Yet I've rarely seen anyone with this attitude: "I've wanted to be married all my life. Everyday I prayed for my future spouse, blah blah blah. But as I grew older, it dawned on me that God's purpose for my life is to be single. I'm so happy, I couldn't imagine being married."

Just kinda makes me think ...

Its obvious when someone who is decidedly single is destined for marriage despite their own personal desires: God brings someone into their lives. Their desire to be unmarried is replaced with a desire for their spouse and their marriage. How about for people who desperately want to get married ... when do they know that their lives are meant to be lived unmarried? Does the desire for marriage ever go away?

My perspective is a bit skewed because I did spend 8 years of my life (as a non-Christian) married. I've been single 7 years now and with the clarity of 20/20 hindsight I can see that I went into marriage because I was afraid of being alone and never thought I was strong enough to fly solo. The most positive things I got out of my marriage experience are the fact that I finally found my faith, two wonderful, healthy daughters and I finally got to know who I really am and made peace with that person.

While I still have days when the loneliness gets to me, I'm finding as I go on, day by day...I cope with it better and it doesn't happen as often. If or when it happens that God puts a relationship or potential marriage situation in my life I will welcome it, but should it not happen per His will...I really am fine with that too as I have plenty going on in my life that brings me joy, satisfaction, challenges and happiness.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

This topic reminds me of a discussion I had about 15 years ago with a good Christian friend in college. I was really struggling because here I was...the same ugly duckling in college that I was in high school and everyone around me had boyfriends while I stayed in the dorm and wrote letters to pen pals on Friday nights (that's what we did before internet! lol!!) or I worked someplace. This friend was in her early 20's at the time and pretty much said God had taken the desire for marriage away from her and had given her a heart for missions. Well, she is now around 40, still unmarried and very active in youth missions in Florida and in Europe. So I think she knew even back then. I think it IS possible for someone to have the attitude "I can't imagine being married." I think my friend is one of these people. God Bless Her.