Interdenominational relationships

[.Mikha'el.]

I recently posted a thread about relationships between cousins. I just thought of a second hypothetical dilemma. Should two Christians who have very different opinions of theology pursue a relationship. to keep it simple, let's just suppose such a hypothetical relationship existed between a Catholic, and a non-denominational Protestant. Assume that children could be involved.

 

[White Rabbit]

I recently posted a thread about relationships between cousins. I just thought of a second hypothetical dilemma. Should two Christians who have very different opinions of theology pursue a relationship. to keep it simple, let's just suppose such a hypothetical relationship existed between a Catholic, and a non-denominational Protestant.

It wouldn't be all that bad... there would probably be some changing and matching of doctrines until they were both of the same congregation. Of course, if there isn't, the other peson would at lest be a Christian... which is probably more important than what type of Christian.

 

[Katydid]

I do have a problem with it, unless one is willing to convert.

How do we raise the kids? That is my main concern. While this may not concern a young couple who aren't considering kids till much later in life, many homes are torn by this. One believes in Christmas eve service, the other has a tradition of staying home and having a big meal. Some issues can be addressed with a compromise, others may not be so easy. It can work, but these issues need to be discussed BEFORE saying "I do"

 

[White Rabbit]

I do have a problem with it, unless one is willing to convert.

How do we raise the kids? That is my main concern. While this may not concern a young couple who aren't considering kids till much later in life, many homes are torn by this. One believes in Christmas eve service, the other has a tradition of staying home and having a big meal. Some issues can be addressed with a compromise, others may not be so easy. It can work, but these issues need to be discussed BEFORE saying "I do"

He said relationship... not marriage... so there is no guarantee of kids

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I have just altered my original question to allow for the possibility of kids.

 

[Ave Maria]

Sure, I don't see how it would be too much of a problem. If your theology is very much different from each others then don't discuss theology or at least try to avoid the things you conflict on.

 

[Lutherrunner]

Well, it is a problem for me....my GF is a fundie and I'm a liberal ELCA Lutheran.....it causes a strain and I really don't know what will happen

 

[servant4ever]

It does cause huge stress to a marriage... my uncle was raised baptist and my aunt is episcable (sorry for the bad spelling). They disagree on a lot of stuff, they never went to church until the past fall, and they love it!

servant4ever

 

[Katydid]

He said relationship... not marriage... so there is no guarantee of kids

WOW, we are completely different, because I don't believe in pursuing a relationship if there is no possibility of marriage, never did when I was single.

I have just altered my original question to allow for the possibility of kids.

Thank you.

 

[Letalis]

I think it's a bad idea. When I'm old enough for the possiblity of marriage, I would never date a Protestant Christian. I would think about it, though, if she agreed I could raise the kids Catholic. Other than that, nope.

Also, birth control would be an issue.

 

[ruby_redeemed]

I recently posted a thread about relationships between cousins. I just thought of a second hypothetical dilemma. Should two Christians who have very different opinions of theology pursue a relationship. to keep it simple, let's just suppose such a hypothetical relationship existed between a Catholic, and a non-denominational Protestant. Assume that children could be involved.

I think it would at a strain to the relationships that wouldn't normaly be there. I wouldn't say they shouldn't pursue it, but I think it is a very bad idea.
There is a couple at our church one is a Calvinist and the other is an Arminian, and they have a great marriage. So I thin kit would depend on the personalities.

 

[White Rabbit]

WOW, we are completely different, because I don't believe in pursuing a relationship if there is no possibility of marriage, never did when I was single.



Thank you.

Does that mean you never had a relationship to your parents? Or did you marry them?

 

[TSIBHOD]

Unless one person wants to go to the other's church (or they want to agree to both try a different denomination that maybe is somewhere in between), I don't think it's a good idea. My maternal grandparents had this problem. My grandfather was a Baptist, and my grandmother was a member of the Church of Christ. They went to their own churches for a while, then my grandfather stopped going at all for a time. Finally, he started attending the Church of Christ with my grandmother. They got to go there together for 20 years, but they were married for 58, until my grandfather died. I don't think this ought to happen. Either one or both should be willing to compromise, or if neither is willing to compromise, they are not united on the subject of what church to attend, and this is not good. Couples should be united.

 

[TSIBHOD]

Does that mean you never had a relationship to your parents? Or did you marry them?

The OP can correct me if I'm wrong, but the common usage of "pursuing a relationship" (at least where I'm from) means courting or dating, etc. It means pursuing a romantic relationship.

Anyway, I think this is getting off-topic. So I might as well get a little bit more off-topic in a constructive way. Katydid, how are you and your husband these days? Everything going well?

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Exactly. I refer to romantic relationships, but I have left the question open enough to allow the members who respond to decide whether that includes marriage.

 

[Jon_]

I recently posted a thread about relationships between cousins. I just thought of a second hypothetical dilemma. Should two Christians who have very different opinions of theology pursue a relationship. to keep it simple, let's just suppose such a hypothetical relationship existed between a Catholic, and a non-denominational Protestant. Assume that children could be involved.

I firmly believe that as the spiritual head of the household it is the man's prerogative and obligation to maintain and teach the doctrine he professes.

 

[ruby_redeemed]

I firmly believe that as the spiritual head of the household it is the man's prerogative and obligation to maintain and teach the doctrine he professes.

I agree with you. The women should submit and go to the church of her husband. But too many women don't hold to that and there's problems in their marriage.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

I think that as long as you can find someone to call your beloved, and who considers you their beloved, is a blessing in itself.

If this occurs, a difference in opinions can be overcome.

 

[ClaireZ]

I see no harm as the Bible only says not to marry non-Christians.

Although for sanity's sake it is much better to settle any major differences, and how the children are to be raised before marriage.

The question comes when to discuss these issues. I believe that the latest they could be put off is once you become engaged. However, if you date a long while, which I think is the best course, as you are getting to know each other, and these things enter the conversation, they can be dealt with then.

If you deal with all this before marriage, it can even be worked out with your priest/minister/pastor during marriage counseling.

 

[Katydid]

Katydid, how are you and your husband these days? Everything going well?

We're doing good, considering we have three little ones to chase after and we both just got over the flu.

Does that mean you never had a relationship to your parents? Or did you marry them?

As Tsibhod said, in the context of this question, it is referring to marriage. By the way, I was born into the relationship with my parents, and my children were born into a relationship with me, so no, I didn't have to pursue them, as they already existed.