How should I handle...
I'm the eldest of five and I'm tired of the the constant negative energy from my siblings about our stepfather. Most of my family are repulsed by him, can't stand to be around him and are angry with mom for staying married with him. He came into our lives about seven years ago. My siblings disliked him then and now hate to be in his presence today. They're all grown and gone now (youngest is 19) but refuse to visit my mom because of the stepfather.
Last thanksgiving they refused to come by to visit hurting my mom in the process because she planned for everyone to be there weeks before the holiday. She worked hard to bring all of us together on Christmas. They did acknowledge and talk to him when spoken to but our stepfather was mostly ignored during the day. Just recently one of my sisters decided it was best to disown our mother because of her marriage to the stepfather (it involved an unexpected incident). My sister believes she is a fool for thinking things will get better with him.
She always believed that he mainpulates and controls (while quoting scriptures) our mom into thinking that everything will get better when it never does.
The problem is that he is a cocaine addict. From his addiction he has repeatedly hurt my family more then they could bear. During his countlessdisappearing acts of drug use(always claiming he was clean before) he
1) Stole money from my family to a point they ended up homeless
2) Took more then one family members vehicles during his drug run. Most of the time bringing the cars back in terrible shape a few days later
3)She admitted that he physically abused her for money for drugs
4)Consistenly wasting thousands of hard earned money because of his habit
and that's not half of what my family been through with this man
What I don't understand is how mom constantly admits to being miserable with him expecting US to not act differently towards him. We see her in agony, having nervous breakdowns and money stolen from her. Honestly, I can't think of one relative that would come by to visit her to even say Hi because of the stepdad.
They're in cousenling now to better their marriage but have no support from one member of either side of their family. The constant negtative and direspectful words (sometimes to her)about the stepfather and his marriage to my mom bothers me. How can I get my family to respect my mom's decison and wish for the best? It's obvious she is not ready to divorce for reasons related to her beliefs in Christianity (which i don't understand). My mom retaliates by telling everyone to walk in forgiveness and that for the hundreth time that he has changed.
So instead of me inflicting hurt and pain on my mother because I don't care for my stepfather. Wouldn't it be wise to wish her the best and not think the worst of the stepdad? I love her and she is a wonderful person but my siblings and some relatives have torn her hearts to pieces because of her marriage to him. So much resentment and hate is in their hearts. I would like to see my family for the holidays (I live near mom). Seriously, how can I handle all of this this?
I'm the eldest of five and I'm tired of the the constant negative energy from my siblings about our stepfather. Most of my family are repulsed by him, can't stand to be around him and are angry with mom for staying married with him. He came into our lives about seven years ago. My siblings disliked him then and now hate to be in his presence today. They're all grown and gone now (youngest is 19) but refuse to visit my mom because of the stepfather.
Last thanksgiving they refused to come by to visit hurting my mom in the process because she planned for everyone to be there weeks before the holiday. She worked hard to bring all of us together on Christmas. They did acknowledge and talk to him when spoken to but our stepfather was mostly ignored during the day. Just recently one of my sisters decided it was best to disown our mother because of her marriage to the stepfather (it involved an unexpected incident). My sister believes she is a fool for thinking things will get better with him.
She always believed that he mainpulates and controls (while quoting scriptures) our mom into thinking that everything will get better when it never does.
The problem is that he is a cocaine addict. From his addiction he has repeatedly hurt my family more then they could bear. During his countlessdisappearing acts of drug use(always claiming he was clean before) he
1) Stole money from my family to a point they ended up homeless
2) Took more then one family members vehicles during his drug run. Most of the time bringing the cars back in terrible shape a few days later
3)She admitted that he physically abused her for money for drugs
4)Consistenly wasting thousands of hard earned money because of his habit
and that's not half of what my family been through with this man
What I don't understand is how mom constantly admits to being miserable with him expecting US to not act differently towards him. We see her in agony, having nervous breakdowns and money stolen from her. Honestly, I can't think of one relative that would come by to visit her to even say Hi because of the stepdad.
They're in cousenling now to better their marriage but have no support from one member of either side of their family. The constant negtative and direspectful words (sometimes to her)about the stepfather and his marriage to my mom bothers me. How can I get my family to respect my mom's decison and wish for the best? It's obvious she is not ready to divorce for reasons related to her beliefs in Christianity (which i don't understand). My mom retaliates by telling everyone to walk in forgiveness and that for the hundreth time that he has changed.
So instead of me inflicting hurt and pain on my mother because I don't care for my stepfather. Wouldn't it be wise to wish her the best and not think the worst of the stepdad? I love her and she is a wonderful person but my siblings and some relatives have torn her hearts to pieces because of her marriage to him. So much resentment and hate is in their hearts. I would like to see my family for the holidays (I live near mom). Seriously, how can I handle all of this this?
