In need of help and support, turning to God.

[TinyTyalor]

Hello my name is Taylor.
I had a christian upbringing, went to church, belived so stronly in God, was always a good kid and gave my heart and soul to god.
When i hit the age of 15 i started losing faith, i was bullied, sexually abused, beaten in my own home, didn't have any friends, became withdrawn, paranoid, started hallucinating then became anorexic. I was very sick to the point my life was in danger and only had a few days.
After i started to recover, my depression became out of control, i wasn't sleeping, then stopped eating again. Im also homesexual, which i do find a very hard thing to deal with, even though i may put a front, deep down part of me feels guilty and always will. Recently things have got out of hand with spending money, getting aggressive, and got diagnosed with Schizophrenia (paranoid). I then started to just always want sex, drink, smoke, which before was so unlike me, before i was giving, kind, caring, even though i am still these things i have delovoped another side of me, a side im ashamed of, that i wish would all go away, because its not me. I started to belive there was no God, there was nothing, but the other day, just sitting in the car, i had this feeling go right though me, showing me i need to find God again. Maybe he is my answers for support in these bad times. Im currently living around mates as my dad kicked me out, my mum is suicidal and it feels like everything has been ripped apart, i guess i just need words of adive, for people to pray for me, as i want to be saved, and i know the only way i can do that is by letting God back in my life and in my heart. And he will always have a place in my heart. I can't even eat atm anymore, i lost loads of weight again, have terrible OCD and i feel like giving up, but i just want to be saved from all of this. So please people can you pray for me, i would really appreciate it and give me words of advice, i feel scared of what people on here may think of me, and i am sorry, but please i just need some support and some hope left, and also prayers to find God. Thank you for reading.

 

[aiki]

Taylor:

God's answer to all our problems, however dire and awful they may be, is basically the same: Jesus. It is Jesus who says to those of us who are hurting deeply:

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Jesus promises rest to those who will take his yoke upon themselves, to those who will submit themselves to his saving authority. And when one does, one finds that his authority expresses his gentle and humble character. He is not a hard oppressor, but the "Good Shepherd who gives his life for the sheep." Living under his "yoke," one experiences relief from the destructive consequences of sin, great joy in walking daily with him, and wonder at the power of God's Spirit to transform and conform oneself to His holy nature. Sounds good? Well, let me tell you it is very good!

Taylor, the Bible tells us that there is a spiritual battle going on all the time for the souls of those whom God has made. Satan "walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour." And like a lion who separates out his prey from the herd, Satan likes to get us all alone before he gets us by the throat. He'll pull us as deeply as he can into the darkness of sin, and fear, and despair, away from the help of others, before he delivers his killing blow. It sounds like he is doing this to you.

God be thanked, you have reached out here to people who can and will pray for you. But you must act in concert with their prayers. God offers you the gift of His Son and freedom from the power and consequences of your sin. But you must choose to accept for yourself that Christ has died for your sins and in so doing obtained for you God's forgiveness. You must be willing to obey God's commands and to forsake all your sin. Things you have enjoyed, and perhaps even championed, you will have to discard as unholy and evil. Your choice to follow Christ may cost you friends. Your family may scoff at your choice to become a Christ-follower. As Jesus explains,

Matthew 10:37-39
37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Following Christ, being submitted to him in all you do, is not an unending succession of sacrifices you must make, however. God offers tremendous promises to those who choose to accept his gift of salvation.

John 10:9-10
9 I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.
10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control.

Isaiah 26:3-4
3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
4 Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Also, please understand that God doesn't need you all cleaned up before He will take you as one of His own. Don't wait to "straighten up" your life before taking the gift of His Son that He offers to you. God is the one who will clean you up. But He will do this after you have received for yourself the sacrifice of His Son for your sins.

"Choose you this day who you will serve."

Romans 10:9-13
9 ... if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
11 For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame."
12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him.
13 For "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."

I'll be praying for you.

Peace.

P.S. I have struggled in the past with severe anxiety and OCD. I know what it is to feel out of control and at the mercy of these things. I can tell you, though, that God is greater than these things and that He freed me from them - without drugs and endless therapy. He can do the same for you.

 

[razeontherock]

TT: aiki is a "hard act to follow" (LOL) It's hard to add to what he said, but please know that many, many of us are quite touched by your testimony. Do not be afraid to be "real;" here with us, with yourself, and most especially with God.

You know there is a place in you for God, good. You knew that will never change. You know there is a part of you that seems totally at odds with this, but do you realize we all share this? 2 keys: "I must decrease, and He must increase." Think of that as these 2 parts, and consciously choosing the good one. It's easier to remove yourself from bad influences when you make new associations, and that's what Church is (largely) about.

Have you ever stopped to consider that it gives God great pleasure that you decided to let Him back in your life? And that each moment by moment decision you make to ignore the evil side of yourself, consciously focusing on the good side (which IS Christ in you, BTW) also brings Him pleasure? And that at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore? Today's term for what you need is "motivation," but the Church still uses the old-fashioned term Hope! As in, "look up, for your redemption draws near." Well that and, "repent for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand." i.e., WITHIN REACH!!

I wish everyone struggling to come to Christ were as sincere as you.

 

[aiki]

Taylor:

As I thought on what I wrote to you I realized that I neglected to speak to you of one other important thing you need to know.

The pain of sin is certainly part of what God uses to crowd us to Him and to make us willing to abandon evil living. But this emphasizes the negative rather than positive, doesn't it? The Bible says that it is the "goodness of God that leads us to repentance." Ultimately, God would have us take His gift of salvation, not simply to escape Hell and to obtain the good things He offers to us, but because we see in what He has done for us through the sacrifice of His Son on the cross His amazing love, mercy and grace toward us. Taylor, God loves you more deeply, more fully, than you will ever know. He loved you enough to set aside His heavenly glory, willingly humiliating Himself in taking on human flesh, and then suffer the blows, wounds and mockery of those he came to save and, finally, to shed his innocent blood on a cross for all mankind. This He did, in part, not to shame you, or to guilt you into doing what He has asked, but to show you beyond any doubt that He loves you.

1 John 4:9-10
9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.
10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the atonement for our sins.

1 John 4:18-19 (NKJV)
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Taylor, God wants you to understand how very much He loves you, but part of doing so requires that you recognize just how totally unworthy of His love you are. Jesus explained this to Simon the Pharisee:

Luke 7:36-47
36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee's house, and sat down to eat.
37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil,
38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.
39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, "This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner."
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." So he said, "Teacher, say it."
41 "There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.
42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?"
43 Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have rightly judged."
44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head.
45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in.
46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.
47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little."

Until you see how deeply sinful you are you will never understand how far the Most Holy God has stooped to love you, how much He has forgiven you. The woman in the story above saw herself as God saw her: Steeped in the terrible foulness of sin, desperately in need of a Saviour. It caused her some bitter tears of shame to face this truth about herself I'm sure, but in the end the tears she shed were ones of deep, deep love for Christ who would take the great foulness of her sin upon himself and pay the death penalty she was under so that she could stand pure and accepted by God. What Christ did for this woman he has also done for you, Taylor.

I have and will continue to pray that God will do in your heart what He did in the heart of the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears.

Peace.

 

[salida]

I would take one day at a time and start praying, reading the bible and find a church that is serious about God. Get friends that are inspirational to your christian walk.
Ask the holy spirit back into your life. By doing this things will become more clear again and your will then get your strength back to conquer spiritual darkness.

Concept of christianity:
www.livingwaters.com/good/


Become familiar with the bible so u can answer other seekers.

Visit: www.TheBibleProofBook.com. And you can read The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell (its overwhelming circumstantial evidence of bible) and Examine the Evidence by Muncaster a former athiest/The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel a former athiest.

 

[Pure760]

Hello my name is Taylor.
I had a christian upbringing, went to church, belived so stronly in God, was always a good kid and gave my heart and soul to god.

You cannot give anything to God, it's already his.

When i hit the age of 15 i started losing faith, i was bullied, sexually abused, beaten in my own home, didn't have any friends, became withdrawn, paranoid, started hallucinating then became anorexic. I was very sick to the point my life was in danger and only had a few days.

Later in life you will see that these things caused you to change for the better, there is no such thing as suffering in God's eyes and that is what he is trying to show you threw tests.. turn the other cheak.. forgiveness.. remember theres a purpose behind these lessons.

After i started to recover, my depression became out of control, i wasn't sleeping, then stopped eating again. Im also homesexual, which i do find a very hard thing to deal with, even though i may put a front, deep down part of me feels guilty and always will. Recently things have got out of hand with spending money, getting aggressive, and got diagnosed with Schizophrenia (paranoid). I then started to just always want sex, drink, smoke, which before was so unlike me, before i was giving, kind, caring, even though i am still these things i have delovoped another side of me, a side im ashamed of, that i wish would all go away, because its not me. I started to belive there was no God, there was nothing, but the other day, just sitting in the car, i had this feeling go right though me, showing me i need to find God again. Maybe he is my answers for support in these bad times. Im currently living around mates as my dad kicked me out, my mum is suicidal and it feels like everything has been ripped apart, i guess i just need words of adive, for people to pray for me, as i want to be saved, and i know the only way i can do that is by letting God back in my life and in my heart. And he will always have a place in my heart. I can't even eat atm anymore, i lost loads of weight again, have terrible OCD and i feel like giving up, but i just want to be saved from all of this. So please people can you pray for me, i would really appreciate it and give me words of advice, i feel scared of what people on here may think of me, and i am sorry, but please i just need some support and some hope left, and also prayers to find God. Thank you for reading.

Just because you're not acting 'godly' does not mean you're not learning of his ways in each moment. There is truth to be found, seen, felt.. experienced and this is what every single human desires throughout their life, its the lacking every single person shares but does not realize it. The true peace and love of God that is available to anyone that wants it and nothing else.

The churches say this is impossible, they say we're far from god's glory while we're alive. I say its right infront of you, open your eyes. The only difference between Jesus and us is that Jesus desired nothing else. Very simply every moment you choose selfishness over God, all you have to do is stop and he will reveal himself in unfathonable ways.

 

[Robin Shawn]

Hi Taylor. You sound like a nice person. I am sorry that you are suffering so much, that life is so painful for you right now. It would be unfair to tell you that when you turn to Jesus you will never have painful experience again. You will still suffer but will have the strength to endure and cope. I have found the Holy Spirit gently works on my heart, and I feel better about myself and my life when I sense Him nudging at my heart. My advice: don't give up, take one day at a time, do what you can do, pray a lot if you feel like it. I, too, have paranoid schizophrenia, so I know what that is like. Jesus is what gets me through. Also: although homosexuality is wrong, it is not your fault that you are homosexual, and there is hope for you if you repent with everything in you and trust the Lord. He will make a way when there seems to be no way.

I hope you feel better soon, and every evening I will remember you in my prayers, Taylor. God bless you!