In laws

[beccasmommy]

I just found out that my MIL was talking to one of my dd friends mom and told her that she hoped that I had learned my lesson this time around (we just had our son 5 weeks early) would stop having children argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we feel blessed to have this child and now I feel like the joy has somehow been tainted. When our son and daughter were born we couldn't keep them away(other son was 13 weeks early) and now they have only come to see Luke twice and only stay for 5 min max, I feel like they are going to not trat him equally what to do?

 

[DamagedNothing]

WOW that's horrible!! How could she say something like that? And how does your husband feel about it? The only thing I can suggest is find a way to let the comment go so it doesn't both you. You can't control what she says or does, but you can control how you let it affect you. You did nothing wrong here.

God bless!

 

[JayCeeGirl]

Am I understanding this correctly? Luke is your third? And she has a problem with that???

Either way, how many children you choose to have is between you, your hubby, and God. I can't believe she would be so cold and say such a thing.

 

[bliz]

I suggest that you and your MIL take a quiet walk together. Taking the baby along might be nice. On that walk, tell her what your friend has said, and ask her if it is true.

If she says it's true, ask that she not express her opinion with other friends in the future. Then ask her which of your children should not exist. She will probably not have an answer for you. Then calmly explain that you do not want your children to spend too much time with people who do not fully welcome them into the family and the world and that you and your husband will have some serious thinking to do.

If she denies it, say that that's good because you would have a hard time having around your children spend much time with people who do not fully welcome them into the family and the world.

Threaten nothing, do not yell or get angry. Just clearly deliver your message.

 

[beccasmommy]

good ideas I know that she has said things in the past so it didn't suprise me but asking her which one should not exist is a great idea! I agree with the not spending time with people who do not welcome them. hubby wants another baby and we have already started planning it

 

[Neenie1]

I just found out that my MIL was talking to one of my dd friends mom and told her that she hoped that I had learned my lesson this time around (we just had our son 5 weeks early) would stop having children argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we feel blessed to have this child and now I feel like the joy has somehow been tainted. When our son and daughter were born we couldn't keep them away(other son was 13 weeks early) and now they have only come to see Luke twice and only stay for 5 min max, I feel like they are going to not trat him equally what to do?

Am I right in thinking that you have 2 children already and this is your 3rd child?

I guess if she doesn't treat all of them equally, then you need to let her know.

I had to give my MIL an ultimatum at one stage because it was obvious to me that she preferred my son over my daughter. It's a really heartbreaking thing to have to go through. I told her that if she wasn't going to start paying attention to my daughter then we were going to limit her contact with ds. I still sense that things are strained between my daughter and my MIL, it's really awkward, when we talk about our family and friends (she is about to turn 3 and a very social little girl, who loves to talk about people she loves) she never mentions MIL at all. It's always grandma and grandpa, but never ever MIL.

The main thing I would advise at this stage is to pray pray and pray.

Also since this is your MIL and not your mum, it might be best if your dh talks to her.

 

[Assisi]

Also since this is your MIL and not your mum, it might be best if your dh talks to her.

I was thinking this too.