In Desperate Need of Help!!

[gloriousday2006]

Just a thought... what if you stopped worrying about being emotionally numb? What if this is a type of obsession? After all, you don't need feelings to love and follow God or to serve others. They're nice to have, but not necessary. My guess is that when you stop being so afraid of losing your emotions, they might actually come back. That's the way OCD often likes to work, anyway.

Thank you for your reply. I have felt this might be a component of OCD. I think OCD took me to the point of I can't believe this is me, this is not something I would ever want to think. I was so horrified by my thoughts, that they couldn't possibly be me. It was like this isn't who I am. Then I had the depersonalization experience. I have not been the same since. Please say many prayers. I believe in Jesus, and I believe he has the power to heal and transform. He is my God and there is no other.

 

[Mari17]

Again, I'm wondering if you should just ignore the fact that you feel emotional numbness. Sometimes OCD wants us to be afraid of something so badly that it actually creates a way of thinking/feeling that is not totally ours. I may be wrong, but if you stop being so afraid of being emotionally numb then your feelings might naturally return. I understand you want to feel your emotions, but you might be able to trick your brain out of its fear if you say, "OK, I am emotionally numb. It stinks, but I can't change it. I can only control my actions. I can still choose to love God and serve others no matter how I am feeling. So I choose, with my mind, to live by faith for God, no matter how I am feeling." Then, no matter how distressed you are feeling, move on with your life. Refuse to dwell on or try to solve this question/concern. That's what OCD does - it tries to get you to dwell on a particular issue, and sucks you into a vortex of fear and questioning that is never satisfied until YOU choose to step out of it and say, "OK, enough. My fear might be true, but I can still choose my actions. I refuse to worry about this anymore." It's REALLY, REALLY hard to do this, but it takes your OCD by surprise and eventually your brain becomes clearer and you can think (and feel) more logically again.

 

[lamb7]

Hello,


I am going to explain my situation and see if there is anyone who has been through something similar. This has been extremely difficult, and extremely challenging. I believe in Jesus. He is my Lord and savior. I love Jesus and I desire a relationship with him above all things. In fact, I think there is nothing more important than Jesus. I do not care about the riches of this world, but above all want a relationship with my Savior. I was baptized in 2014.

Month 1:
I started turning back to the Lord whole heartedly after a period of serious backsliding. I was having SEVERE intrusive thoughts and extreme anxiety. To the point where I couldn't eat, lost weight, severe panic attacks, couldn't work or function. It was like my world drained of color. I whole heartedly repented of my sin.
Month 2:
I believe I experienced an episode of depersonalization where I felt I was coming out of my body. After then, my emotions have numbed considerably. I am still feeling detached from my emotions. It is almost like I am trapped behind glass. I know how I want to feel about things, I know what I think, but I can't feel my emotions.

I am usually an extremely emotional person who feels everything. This is particularly terrifying. I want to feel my emotions. I think the same, but cannot feel my thoughts. If I do feel emotions it is dull compared to how I would normally feel them.

Above all I want to serve the Lord. This has been so extremely traumatic. Has anyone experienced this before? I would love to talk to someone who has come out on the other side of this. The whole purpose of life is to get to Jesus. I believe we were made by and for God.

I want to be a compassionate, kind hearted person who serves the Lord. I do not want to be numb. I will continue to seek the Lord no matter how I feel. I cannot live without Him and can do nothing apart from Him. I do not want to ever be separated from Him, and I know I am a terrible sinner in need of a savior. I will keep seeking.

I had dealt with a different type of OCD in the past, but never to this point. Please prayers, hope, and encouragement.

YES this is me, I had a bout of this for 2 months! I lost weight could not work, eat and sleep. I have not been that way since I was first diagnosed in 2009. As a result I had to increase my dose of citalopram from 20mg to 40mg. The results of this increase took 7 weeks! You are not alone. Not sure if I missed it are you on any meds or therapy?

 

[gloriousday2006]

I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I had a break in the numbness yesterday and was able to cry and praise and worship with my whole heart. It was beautiful and amazing. I am feeling numb again today, but I know God is with me and I am thankful that God does not base my salvation on any qualities of my own but on his faithfulness and truth. I love my Lord Jesus and will follow Him no matter how I feel. Please keep me in your prayers for healing from OCD, depersonalization, and to give me a soft compassionate heart.

 

[Shawb]

Sounds a lot like me when I was going through the first stages of OCD. The first couple of months will hit hard, but don't be afraid for the LORD is with you. I remember the first month I had severe panic attacks and intrusive blasphemous thoughts. The later months I felt severe emotional numbness, this is normal especially since your emotions are like muscles... your anxiety has kind of worn them out with excessive emotional strain. Here is a web site that had helped me during these times.
A Christian who keeps having blasphemous thoughts: unforgivable sin or spiritual attack?
Remember this is temporary and this life is temporary. We are destined for eternity with God. Through this experience, you may experience a transformation (I hope). When I went through this my faith was pretty infantile, but through this experience (as horrible as it was) I deepened my faith, understanding why I believe in Christ instead of focusing on what I believe and it opened my eyes to a lot. Like what Dave G said, first the experience will take away the things you like, but worry not the LORD will most likely return it to you and maybe you will gain a new perspective on yourself and God.

 

[Mari17]

So glad to hear that gloriousday2006!!!

 

[gloriousday2006]

Sounds a lot like me when I was going through the first stages of OCD. The first couple of months will hit hard, but don't be afraid for the LORD is with you. I remember the first month I had severe panic attacks and intrusive blasphemous thoughts. The later months I felt severe emotional numbness, this is normal especially since your emotions are like muscles... your anxiety has kind of worn them out with excessive emotional strain. Here is a web site that had helped me during these times.
A Christian who keeps having blasphemous thoughts: unforgivable sin or spiritual attack?
Remember this is temporary and this life is temporary. We are destined for eternity with God. Through this experience, you may experience a transformation (I hope). When I went through this my faith was pretty infantile, but through this experience (as horrible as it was) I deepened my faith, understanding why I believe in Christ instead of focusing on what I believe and it opened my eyes to a lot. Like what Dave G said, first the experience will take away the things you like, but worry not the LORD will most likely return it to you and maybe you will gain a new perspective on yourself and God.

Thank you so much for your post. It is so nice to know I am not the only one who has gone through this. The emotional numbness has been very traumatic. I am usually extremely emotional. How long did it take you to breakthrough this?

 

[gloriousday2006]

Please keep praying for me everyone. I have been having some difficult days. I appreciate it more than you know.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Please keep praying for me everyone. I have been having some difficult days. I appreciate it more than you know.

Hi; for the believer, John 14 is a great passage.

 

[NessofOnett05]

One thing I will say that in my experience with ocd i tend to think that I'm something that I'm not. For instance, I was afraid that I wasn't a christian, so I forced myself to read the Bible all the time, and it made me dread having to pray or read the Bible. But this was because I was forcing myself to get the mindset that I was a true christian. I knew that I was a Christian but I forced myself to feel joy from reading the Bible, and it just wasn't working out that way. Finally, i stopped forcing myself to read the Bible 24/7 i read my Bible daily and when I needed to. I would suggest that you stop forcing yourself to get these emotions and then continue to pray about it. The less you give it thought the less it should bother you

 

[Shawb]

Thank you so much for your post. It is so nice to know I am not the only one who has gone through this. The emotional numbness has been very traumatic. I am usually extremely emotional. How long did it take you to breakthrough this?

It did not take too long, maybe a day or two, sometimes a week, but it was pretty scary at first. They will return don't worry you won't turn into a robot, especially since God never wanted that for anyone.

 

[Jessd77]

Hey would love to hear from you-
Are you better now??? Can you feel again??

Hello,


I am going to explain my situation and see if there is anyone who has been through something similar. This has been extremely difficult, and extremely challenging. I believe in Jesus. He is my Lord and savior. I love Jesus and I desire a relationship with him above all things. In fact, I think there is nothing more important than Jesus. I do not care about the riches of this world, but above all want a relationship with my Savior. I was baptized in 2014.

Month 1:
I started turning back to the Lord whole heartedly after a period of serious backsliding. I was having SEVERE intrusive thoughts and extreme anxiety. To the point where I couldn't eat, lost weight, severe panic attacks, couldn't work or function. It was like my world drained of color. I whole heartedly repented of my sin.
Month 2:
I believe I experienced an episode of depersonalization where I felt I was coming out of my body. After then, my emotions have numbed considerably. I am still feeling detached from my emotions. It is almost like I am trapped behind glass. I know how I want to feel about things, I know what I think, but I can't feel my emotions.

I am usually an extremely emotional person who feels everything. This is particularly terrifying. I want to feel my emotions. I think the same, but cannot feel my thoughts. If I do feel emotions it is dull compared to how I would normally feel them.

Above all I want to serve the Lord. This has been so extremely traumatic. Has anyone experienced this before? I would love to talk to someone who has come out on the other side of this. The whole purpose of life is to get to Jesus. I believe we were made by and for God.

I want to be a compassionate, kind hearted person who serves the Lord. I do not want to be numb. I will continue to seek the Lord no matter how I feel. I cannot live without Him and can do nothing apart from Him. I do not want to ever be separated from Him, and I know I am a terrible sinner in need of a savior. I will keep seeking.

I had dealt with a different type of OCD in the past, but never to this point. Please prayers, hope, and encouragement.

 

[Jessd77]

Let me know if you got healed

M

Hello,


I am going to explain my situation and see if there is anyone who has been through something similar. This has been extremely difficult, and extremely challenging. I believe in Jesus. He is my Lord and savior. I love Jesus and I desire a relationship with him above all things. In fact, I think there is nothing more important than Jesus. I do not care about the riches of this world, but above all want a relationship with my Savior. I was baptized in 2014.

Month 1:
I started turning back to the Lord whole heartedly after a period of serious backsliding. I was having SEVERE intrusive thoughts and extreme anxiety. To the point where I couldn't eat, lost weight, severe panic attacks, couldn't work or function. It was like my world drained of color. I whole heartedly repented of my sin.
Month 2:
I believe I experienced an episode of depersonalization where I felt I was coming out of my body. After then, my emotions have numbed considerably. I am still feeling detached from my emotions. It is almost like I am trapped behind glass. I know how I want to feel about things, I know what I think, but I can't feel my emotions.

I am usually an extremely emotional person who feels everything. This is particularly terrifying. I want to feel my emotions. I think the same, but cannot feel my thoughts. If I do feel emotions it is dull compared to how I would normally feel them.

Above all I want to serve the Lord. This has been so extremely traumatic. Has anyone experienced this before? I would love to talk to someone who has come out on the other side of this. The whole purpose of life is to get to Jesus. I believe we were made by and for God.

I want to be a compassionate, kind hearted person who serves the Lord. I do not want to be numb. I will continue to seek the Lord no matter how I feel. I cannot live without Him and can do nothing apart from Him. I do not want to ever be separated from Him, and I know I am a terrible sinner in need of a savior. I will keep seeking.

I had dealt with a different type of OCD in the past, but never to this point. Please prayers, hope, and encouragement.

 

[Mari17]

Hey would love to hear from you-
Are you better now??? Can you feel again??

Hi Jessd77 - Are you also struggling with numbness? If so, do you think it stems from OCD/anxiety?

 

[Jessd77]

Hi Jessd77 - Are you also struggling with numbness? If so, do you think it stems from OCD/anxiety?

Hey Mari!
I am not sure if it does, however- I have researched this intensely and I have found that just about everyone who has become “numb” has had OCD, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks right before it happened. when I look back- I remember feeling a relief once I started becoming numb because the intrusive thoughts now weren’t causing strong emotions- but then I realized I had lost all my emotions and I was very scared that my heart was now hardened and something was deeply wrong. God gave me a verse at one point “if anyone should come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me..” and that was his message to me during that time. I think he was telling me that I needed to be obedient- and to stop relying on the emotions. I will honestly say I haven’t been obedient still and I’m working on getting back to doing that and hopefully he will heal me because I know he can. I also read about another girl who went kind of numb in her heart from disobedience but did get out of it through being obedient. I think OCD and anxiety probably plays a huge role in this too- because our brains may have shut down a huge part of who we were due to the trauma that happened. Similar to vets with PTSD they experience numbness as well. My long answer is that I see several possibilities for this but each does have hope. I think God can heal us, but we have to be obedient despite the lack of feelings, and through that obedience we will see what happens when we don’t give up and when we stick with God in the hardest times in our lives- Jesus heals those who have faith remember that. We could have caused this numbness but excess worry, and Jesus may be waiting to heal us. Or maybe other things caused it- I just don’t know for certain.
I also may see a Psychiatrist who’s a Christian and see if he’s treated numbness before and let you know what I find out.
Be obedient. Do the things God was asking you to do before that you ignored. If you want to chat please feel free to email me I’d love to talk

 

[Mari17]

Hey Mari!
I am not sure if it does, however- I have researched this intensely and I have found that just about everyone who has become “numb” has had OCD, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks right before it happened. when I look back- I remember feeling a relief once I started becoming numb because the intrusive thoughts now weren’t causing strong emotions- but then I realized I had lost all my emotions and I was very scared that my heart was now hardened and something was deeply wrong. God gave me a verse at one point “if anyone should come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me..” and that was his message to me during that time. I think he was telling me that I needed to be obedient- and to stop relying on the emotions. I will honestly say I haven’t been obedient still and I’m working on getting back to doing that and hopefully he will heal me because I know he can. I also read about another girl who went kind of numb in her heart from disobedience but did get out of it through being obedient. I think OCD and anxiety probably plays a huge role in this too- because our brains may have shut down a huge part of who we were due to the trauma that happened. Similar to vets with PTSD they experience numbness as well. My long answer is that I see several possibilities for this but each does have hope. I think God can heal us, but we have to be obedient despite the lack of feelings, and through that obedience we will see what happens when we don’t give up and when we stick with God in the hardest times in our lives- Jesus heals those who have faith remember that. We could have caused this numbness but excess worry, and Jesus may be waiting to heal us. Or maybe other things caused it- I just don’t know for certain.
I also may see a Psychiatrist who’s a Christian and see if he’s treated numbness before and let you know what I find out.
Be obedient. Do the things God was asking you to do before that you ignored. If you want to chat please feel free to email me I’d love to talk

Thank you for your reply! I'm glad you have a plan for moving forward. Sometimes the hardest thing is just being so confused! I hope you are able to find some good help from a psychiatrist/therapist. I've heard great things about OCD specialists who know how to use CBT/ERP therapies. Even those who aren't Christians are trained in how to use these therapies to help us overcome our obsessions, even religious obsessions (aka scrupulosity). Or at least, those who are truly professionals can. I'd also like to suggest the Facebook group "Christianity and Anxiety Disorders" if you feel you'd like more peer support. I'm a part of that, and there are lots of people on there with OCD, so I've found it helpful. I also really like the website ocdandchristianity.com. I've done a lot of research about OCD over the years that I've had it, so if you're interested in more website recommendations, please let me know!