in a nutshell

[backrow]

I love my husband but, he is NOT at heart, a person who enjoys Church
enough to go without my lead.

I am so tired of being the Spiritual leader in my home.
I mean once, just once, I would love for him to jump out of bed
on Sunday morning, and say, lets go!

Never happens, and we have been married for 27 years.

He accepted Christ and recieved baptism back about ten years ago, but
that is all he is willing to do. He just thinks all the other stuff is too legalistic.

We go , at my bidding for a year or so, and then he just puts the brakes on,
and won't go at all. I am sick of going alone, telling people he just wants to
stay home.

Its true that the one church was more like a country club, but no Church is
perfect, and I loved the Ministers teaching. He was the best I have ever heard.
I just so hate to go back with him in tow knowing he would rather be in bed, and knowing I had to go without him.

He just plain does not want to walk the walk. Just wants me to keep pretending he does. Our grown son, does not go to Church at all.

Hubby does nothing to act like a Christian, and I am tired of ignoring it.
Saying anything to him, feels like harping, and thats the last thing I want to do.

DOn't get me wrong, he is kind, working, decent, and after reading some posts on here, I know, a wonderful person, but it is frustraiting.
He acts like he enjoys it, once he is there. Squeeses my hand and gets
teary eyed, but the next Sunday its the same thing. A mac truck could
not get him out of bed.

He works six days a week, and I know he is tired, but he does not read his Bible, or talk like a Christian at all. However if he sees someone preaching on
television, he will watch it and may agree with it. I find this very confusing.

There, I said it. Give me your input, I would appreciate your comments.

 

[oat02351]

I love my husband but, he is NOT at heart, a person who enjoys Church
enough to go without my lead.

I am so tired of being the Spiritual leader in my home.
I mean once, just once, I would love for him to jump out of bed
on Sunday morning, and say, lets go!

Never happens, and we have been married for 27 years.

He accepted Christ and recieved baptism back about ten years ago, but
that is all he is willing to do. He just thinks all the other stuff is too legalistic.

We go , at my bidding for a year or so, and then he just puts the brakes on,
and won't go at all. I am sick of going alone, telling people he just wants to
stay home.

Its true that the one church was more like a country club, but no Church is
perfect, and I loved the Ministers teaching. He was the best I have ever heard.
I just so hate to go back with him in tow knowing he would rather be in bed, and knowing I had to go without him.

He just plain does not want to walk the walk. Just wants me to keep pretending he does. Our grown son, does not go to Church at all.

Hubby does nothing to act like a Christian, and I am tired of ignoring it.
Saying anything to him, feels like harping, and thats the last thing I want to do.

DOn't get me wrong, he is kind, working, decent, and after reading some posts on here, I know, a wonderful person, but it is frustraiting.
He acts like he enjoys it, once he is there. Squeeses my hand and gets
teary eyed, but the next Sunday its the same thing. A mac truck could
not get him out of bed.

He works six days a week, and I know he is tired, but he does not read his Bible, or talk like a Christian at all. However if he sees someone preaching on
television, he will watch it and may agree with it. I find this very confusing.

There, I said it. Give me your input, I would appreciate your comments.

My better half is agnostic so needless to say, he doesn't go at all. I have to sit alone at church too because my family believes but, just doesn't go (brother, father, mother, sister). I don't have kids, but, it must be hard for you, your son not going. As for your husband not going to church, some people just don't go no matter how bad we want them to. I think how they live thier life plays a role in wether they are walking with God. Take my mom for example: she would do anything for anyone. She actualy took in one my sister's friends a few years ago because his mom was in a bad way. It only lasted for a short time because the kid wanted to go back to his own mom (she let him do whatever he wanted). She (my Mom) did the same for another friend of my sister's before that. So I think God still works IN her though she doesn't go to church. I hope I helped, at least a little

 

[WashedClean]

I can sense and understand your frustration. I'm sure you've prayed about this a million times.

Can you suggest that you go to another church and ask him to choose it? Does he prefer traditional or contemporary worship? Personally, if someone is bored in church, I would try a contemporary, non-denom. church in your area.

My church even has a Sunday evening service. It's geared toward young adults, but anyone can attend. Perhaps since he's tired in the AM, he would be more open to an evening service? It's harder to find, but not impossible. Also, some churches have Prayer/Worship on Wednesday nights. Maybe he would consider that?

Sorry if I haven't helped much. It's hard when you can't force him to go, and that only makes it worse. Praying for you...

Love in Christ,

WashedClean/Jill

P.S. Welcome to CF and this forum!

 

[kayd1966]

Welcome to CF backrow!

I commend you for continuing to go, it can be so hard to get out of bed and actually go by yourself. I wouldn't lie for him though, if people ask you where he is...tell them that you would appreciate them praying for him because he's not wanting to come to church.

I pray that you will find peace in the Lord and the your son and husband will have a desire to seek the Lord.

 

[hockeywifeca]

I have a dear friend whose dh goes through periods of frustration with God when he does not attend church. Have you read the Power of a Praying Wife? It might be a good read for you. My dh is not saved so he is not in church at all. I'm guessing it's even more painful to have a believer seemingly go back on his commitment than to be with someone who has never made one at all! ((((HUGS))))

 

[kellyd]

I am in the same situation - my husband went to church with me every Sunday when we first started dating. Now it's nothing. We even got to the point where he promised to go once a month, but that doesn't happen either! It is hard to go by myself every Sunday but I have a 13 year old girl and a 3 year old son who I need to raise this way. He tells people how glad he is that I take the kids to church, but continuously declines my invitations to join us. His excuse is because he works five days a week, plus Saturday mornings, and Sunday is his only day off. I will pray for you in your situation. Just know there are others who feel for you.

 

[free4all]

Hi backrow,

Sorry to hear of your situation. I know it is frustrating.

How did your move go? Were you able to find a new church, or are you still in the same area?

I'm praying for you and your husband.

 

[Battle Maiden]

I have a dear friend whose dh goes through periods of frustration with God when he does not attend church. Have you read the Power of a Praying Wife? It might be a good read for you. My dh is not saved so he is not in church at all. I'm guessing it's even more painful to have a believer seemingly go back on his commitment than to be with someone who has never made one at all! ((((HUGS))))

I agree that the book Power of a Praying Wife is really good and it teaches you how to pray for your husband. I know it is hard but like someone said maybe you could suggest that he chooses a church that you both can go to. Remember Jesus is the good shepherd and he will bring him back to the fold. Keep your eyes on Jesus and not on the situation. The enemy wants to bring disharmony.

Battle Maiden

 

[imaniingod]

I know how you feel. I am going through the same thing but you have been going through it for 27 years. The one thing that you have that I dont is a man that loves you. I will pray for you and your husband. I know how you feel because it is nothing like being the spiritual head in your house instead of the way God made it to be with the man as the head.

 

[imaniingod]

I know that I have a DH but what exactly is a DH?

 

[WashedClean]

I know that I have a DH but what exactly is a DH?

Dear Husband (DW = Dear Wife, DD = Dear Daughter, etc)

 

[pete56]

Backrow

This is a really difficult position, but I wish I had this sort of problem!!! (Sorry I dont mean to be condescending)

I agree with WashedClean and KayD here, you need to stop covering for your DH's lack of attendance and ask for help from the fellowship, particularly the Brothers there.

Does your church have any sort of Men's Ministry - often the church feels very female biased to the men that attend.

Does your DH read at all or is he a watcher/listener type? If he does read then get him Wild at Heart by John Eldredge - that ought to liven up his masculinity a bit! If he is the watcher/listener type then encourage him to watch good Christian minsters on the TV - I follow Joyce Meyer - Enjoying Everyday Life, but I know you have a much better selection in the US than we do in the UK.

You might even encourage him to try the retreats that John Eldredge's ministry runs.

In any case try not to get bitter or demanding of your DH - he will only resent it and that will drive a wedge between you, remember your marriage is the second most important thing in your life after your relationship with Christ (and your DH should have the same priorities), I suspect the reference to legalism by your DH is a hang over from his childhood and it may help if you could explore that area of his life and try to bring Christ's healing into that area too.

I hope some or all of this helps.

Pete

 

[imaniingod]

I know that I have a DH but what exactly is a DH?

Praying for you and I hope to hear from you soon! I pray that everything is going well for you. God Bless you and your family.

 

[imaniingod]

Dear Husband (DW = Dear Wife, DD = Dear Daughter, etc)

Thank you for your help! God Bless!

 

[browngirl]

I love my husband but, he is NOT at heart, a person who enjoys Church
enough to go without my lead.

I am so tired of being the Spiritual leader in my home.
I mean once, just once, I would love for him to jump out of bed
on Sunday morning, and say, lets go!

Never happens, and we have been married for 27 years.

He accepted Christ and recieved baptism back about ten years ago, but
that is all he is willing to do. He just thinks all the other stuff is too legalistic.

We go , at my bidding for a year or so, and then he just puts the brakes on,
and won't go at all. I am sick of going alone, telling people he just wants to
stay home.

Its true that the one church was more like a country club, but no Church is
perfect, and I loved the Ministers teaching. He was the best I have ever heard.
I just so hate to go back with him in tow knowing he would rather be in bed, and knowing I had to go without him.

He just plain does not want to walk the walk. Just wants me to keep pretending he does. Our grown son, does not go to Church at all.

Hubby does nothing to act like a Christian, and I am tired of ignoring it.
Saying anything to him, feels like harping, and thats the last thing I want to do.

DOn't get me wrong, he is kind, working, decent, and after reading some posts on here, I know, a wonderful person, but it is frustraiting.
He acts like he enjoys it, once he is there. Squeeses my hand and gets
teary eyed, but the next Sunday its the same thing. A mac truck could
not get him out of bed.

He works six days a week, and I know he is tired, but he does not read his Bible, or talk like a Christian at all. However if he sees someone preaching on
television, he will watch it and may agree with it. I find this very confusing.

There, I said it. Give me your input, I would appreciate your comments.

Please read stories like mine.

I do not want to sound rude or offensive. But you have said yourself, your husband is a kind man, he works, and he is decent. He seems very receptive to hearing the Word preached. Even if he isn't quite all-the-way-there as you might deem, God can reach him because those are all seeds. They just need time to grow. Last but not least, you love him and it appears that he loves you. Please, just with a heart of gratitude, begin to count your blessings and thank God for every one of them that you have. You don't want the enemy able to invade the territory you do have in your marriage due to a lack of thanksgiving and praise. I'm sure you've been praying about it. I really believe that if you just start thanking God and praising God for your husband, and just blessing His name, things would start happening that you've probably been praying for for years. Believe me, if I had what you have right now, I'd be running around my church every Sunday! God bless you.

 

[snshinenor]

Please read stories like mine.

I do not want to sound rude or offensive. But you have said yourself, your husband is a kind man, he works, and he is decent. He seems very receptive to hearing the Word preached. Even if he isn't quite all-the-way-there as you might deem, God can reach him because those are all seeds. They just need time to grow. Last but not least, you love him and it appears that he loves you. Please, just with a heart of gratitude, begin to count your blessings and thank God for every one of them that you have. You don't want the enemy able to invade the territory you do have in your marriage due to a lack of thanksgiving and praise. I'm sure you've been praying about it. I really believe that if you just start thanking God and praising God for your husband, and just blessing His name, things would start happening that you've probably been praying for for years. Believe me, if I had what you have right now, I'd be running around my church every Sunday! God bless you.

Wow, beautifully said.....

 

[kayd1966]

Please read stories like mine.

I do not want to sound rude or offensive. But you have said yourself, your husband is a kind man, he works, and he is decent. He seems very receptive to hearing the Word preached. Even if he isn't quite all-the-way-there as you might deem, God can reach him because those are all seeds. They just need time to grow. Last but not least, you love him and it appears that he loves you. Please, just with a heart of gratitude, begin to count your blessings and thank God for every one of them that you have. You don't want the enemy able to invade the territory you do have in your marriage due to a lack of thanksgiving and praise. I'm sure you've been praying about it. I really believe that if you just start thanking God and praising God for your husband, and just blessing His name, things would start happening that you've probably been praying for for years. Believe me, if I had what you have right now, I'd be running around my church every Sunday! God bless you.

Amen and thank you for the reminder!