Impervious to advice

[Lady Bug]

Any of you who have depression seem to shut yourself out from any recommendations on how to feel better? Sorry everyone but lately I think that this has been happening to me

I feel so in deep that I don't think that anything will work anymore. I should go to therapy but I don't feel like it. I should write down things I'm grateful for but even though I am grateful for certain things in life it doesn't stop my sadness. Maybe I should explore anti-depressants but from experience taking those things had horrid side effects that I never want to go through again.

I have NO energy. Reading something like the Bible kills me. I manage a half hour though if I can. I am not sure how I went through college because the reading loads were very heavy. Now I don't seem to have the attention span to read literally one page of a book. I am unemployed and seriously question my ability to function in a job because of my depression. I feel like everything is wrong. My depression is a huge contributor to tremendous social anxiety and facing someone in person for anything important makes me so nervous that I can hardly handle it.

I wish I could sleep all day and get paid for it, really. I'm that devoid of energy.

It may be a long time before I ever step up to the plate and attempt to make a change in my life to combat my depression - I just don't have the motivation to get better - anyone feel like they lost all motivation to change for the better?

I seriously hope that doesn't mean that I don't want to get better.

 

[Everlasting33]

Sorry to hear that you have much sadness within you. Depression can wear us down and make us feel unprepared for anything and everything. What kind of foods do you eat? I am probably one of the few people on Earth who has the lowest amounts of energy! However, since going organic and eating better I have much more energy than I ever have. Eating healthy and exercise do help.

Therapy is a must and it isn't always fun but it does feel good when you know you are doing something a lot to help the problem.

 

[Lady Bug]

Sorry to hear that you have much sadness within you. Depression can wear us down and make us feel unprepared for anything and everything. What kind of foods do you eat? I am probably one of the few people on Earth who has the lowest amounts of energy! However, since going organic and eating better I have much more energy than I ever have. Eating healthy and exercise do help.

Therapy is a must and it isn't always fun but it does feel good when you know you are doing something a lot to help the problem.

I tend to eat too many carbs - but I'm someone who feels like I have a short fuse lol if I don't eat starch - I'm edgy and feisty in that sense. That's only when I eat the "right" amount of food though. I eat dairy products, carbohydrates and proteins, but I admit - I don't eat enough fruits and veggies. I think that balancing my regimen with some foods from those categories might enable me to feel that my regimen isn't lacking something. I don't know. I happen to like vegetables for the most part - somehow I never get myself to eat them usually.

I exercise daily though. I take a decent-paced walk for about 40 minutes or so.

Therapy is so hard for me to get myself to go to

 

[TheMainException]

there are many new anti-D's out there...maybe talk to your doc and try one that you haven't tried yet? I know what it feels like to be at that point...like nothing will ever change and no one's talking can change anything. Writing down what I'm grateful just made me feel worse because I felt like such a fool for having so much and feeling so lousy...I felt so selfish...but you have to remember, this isn't your fault, and you are grateful...it's a DISEASE, a chemical imbalance that is made worse by how we think about ourselves...it really sounds like you should be on meds...and I think that's what you need...but you can't go with just meds...you need to get better enough to go to therapy...it's proven that meds or therapy alone don't do the trick like the meds/therapy mix do. Get on meds and get back into therapy and I think you could feel good again...without the meds, therapy is just impossible...it'll be such a struggle to drag yourself there...so if you can find a med that doesn't have bad side effects (or at least a few you can handle), go for it.

With love from God,
TME
(and feel free to pm me...depression and I spent 7 long years dating...it was painful, but the breakup was wonderful)

 

[Jayangel81]

Im sorry this is going on, depression is nasty. I know I lack motivation to do anything than I blame myself and call myself lazy at times which dont even make it any better.

I agree with the above posts, I think eating healthy does do something to us, I remember there was this girl who wrote out a post explaining how and why junk food effects us mentally...it was very encouraging and it made sense.

There are some meds out there that might not nessacarily have real bad side effects, usually for the first couple weeks you really notice them but at times they do wear off. your body gets used to them. not always but, at times. Try a few. Pray to God and ask Him to lead you to some medicine that wont be too hard on you.

Reading something like the Bible kills me. I manage a half hour though if I can.

why exactly do you have problems reading the bible? is it just that you have no motivation or lack concentration because of the depression. Maybe you just dont like to read?

I would suggest try to "listen" to Gods Word. there are alot of free bible audios that you can find online. I use them alot. Just a thought id throw out at ya

Hang in there

 

[Lady Bug]

anyway to clarify on why reading kills me it's mainly lack of concentration due to the depression. in all honesty and in theory I'd love to delve into books to pursue knowledge - it's so edifying - but it disappoints me that I never follow through entirely with it. I'm surprised I read the whole NT last year. I'm trying to reread it and it feels immobile right now.

medicines aren't out of the question - I can't really afford them. if I had a job I might be able to but that's the problem. since I don't have a job that can sustain me at this time I live with my dad, and if I want to go to a therapist I don't really want to tell him that I'm going to one partially because I think I'm depressed because of him...SORT of... (one of those things where you feel reticent to disclose "going to a counselor" to your own parents) and I don't want to lie to him about where I'm going either. I don't have any friends - (I have one estranged friend who I hardly see anymore) - so it's not like I can say I'm meeting a friend - and besides, I wouldn't want to lie either. It's kind of hard right now to acquire therapy because of this. In the meantime I am focusing on prayer, reading my Bible, and talking to a couple of closer friends online until I can finally think of what to do next. It's hard

uh oh - I hope it doesn't look like I'm making excuses not to get better - that would be a CLASSIC case of someone in denial

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

If you live in the US it sounds like you could get disability if you could get a doctor to help you with that and a lawyer too.

Hang in there!

 

[Criada]

A lot of good advice.... believe me, I know how hard it is to follow, though, even when you know it is right.
Maybe if you set yourself very small targets, something you know you *can* achieve each day... because looking at the big picture can be frightening, and tiring.
Half an hour of Bible reading is a lot more than many Christians manage, you know... and God sees your heart, and knows what you are going through.
It's a disease, sister, and it is not your fault!!! Any more than having a cold is your fault...

Praying for you, sweetie, and here if you need to talk.

 

[Bryan519]

Ladybug,
One of the most enlightening statements I learned in therapy was "action preceeds motivation". So many times we are taught that it's the other way around, but what I found is that allot of the times we actually have to force ourselves to do something long before we "feel" motivated to do it. So that means getting out of bed when we are tired, reading when we don't feel like it, smiling even though we aren't happy...how does that old saying go? "fake it until you make it?" I know how trite that must sound especially when you feel so crappy. I too suffer from depression, but I found that this helped me. I was sitting around waiting to be motivated as opposed to taking a proactive approach. Once I forced myself to get out and be active, gradually, it became easier every day. But you have to be consistent.

Try it, what have you got to lose?

I really hope things become brighter for you! May God bless you!

 

[Restored_Son]

Heya sister,

Oh man where to begin hehe.

In your orginal post, I get the sense you have a lack of hope in your heart. Reading the Word of God is one thing, but accually believing it is another. It is loaded with wisdom, but you have to put it into practice. Even if you don't feel like it.

Word of God are biblical truths and help you understand the face of God. If you don't seek understanding and apply these truths to your life, then they won't be your wisdoms.

Phillippians 4:6-9


6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

I also noticed that you are very hard on yourself. Don't be. The Lord loved me when I was full of dyfunctions and struggling with a porn addiction. It is not about doing the right thing to be blessed by God, but acknowledging that he IS God. He WILL get you out of this hole you are in. Don't try to be perfect, instead allow yourself to grow steadly and lean on HIS strength to carry you thru.

Writing is good for the soul!

I am learning about the psalms, and I noticed a connection to old tool I use. We use a lot cliches when we are around people or God in our prayers, but rarely we go deeper to how we honously feel. Psalms were emotional and to the core of problems the people/authors had. Expressing how they truly felt yet still glorifying God.
I encourage you to start a journal, or Morning Pages as I orginally learned them. Get a note pad, or word processor. Everyday take like 15-30+mins to just write. I don't mean think something up, but to just listen to voice in your head. Just write down what you hear, weither it is good, bad, or ugly.

This tool will help you realize what you are truly thinking. As well help you understand what is going on in your heart. It will also help clear your thoughts.

Lastly for when you are ready to tackle your problems. This biblical truth was the foundation of my recovery process a year ago.

2 Chronicles 7:13-15

13 At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you. 14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land. 15 My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.

"...will humble themselves..."
First you admit you have a problem. That is half the battle right their, since it is in our sinful nature to hide from God. (BTW this is a continual life time process of spiritual growth, for the Lord wants you to know the evil in your heart that needs to be purified.)

"...pray..."
Ask God to help you, and be sincere about expressing what you are going thru. He wants to help you to break free from this bondage. Don't try to do it all yourself, for Lord can bless you with resources, thougths/encouragement thru the Holy Spirit, or use others to reach you.

"...seek my face..."
Word of God is the way to go on this. Who better to help you understand yourself than the one who created you in the first place. We are not made for the things of this world, we were made in the image of God. Understanding who he is, his ways, and how he intended us to be leads to greator healing of self. Also more you understand the face of God, the deeper your relationship, freedom, and sense of joyfulness grows. We are his children, and we are very loved. =)

"...change from your wicked ways..."
Once you understand why God's way is the path to life. Or truly understand his Wisdom. Now you start the hard and difficult path of sincerely changing your way of life. This is where sacrifices usually come in. Usually means you have to let go of something; friends, way of life(drinking, partying), a bad habit, etc. And put in it's place best God's wisdom, then put it in constant practice.
Much like a child learning to walk, you will stumble many times. Don't let the stumbles hinder you from making the change, instead learn from each mistake. Lean on the Lord as much you can. Eventually you will break free from your bondage.

Luke 12:29-31

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

Some sacrifices will cause great emotional pain, as you let go of an addiction or way of life. I want to encourage you thou. This scripture is so true, but it requires faith and hope. That things of old will be replaced with true desires of your heart. Lord knows your needs and desires better than you do. For he created them. Give up control or fears of never fullfilling them to Jesus.

I gave up my need to find a girlfriend(very hard struggle), year later I found a woman that completes me in every way. I gave up my computer and video games, today I am learning guitar and doing outreach. I gave up my old life and have this wonderful new one.

haha... sorry for so much. What happens when I get a day off.

May God bless you!

 

[Restored_Son]

Heya sister,

Oh man where to begin hehe.

In your orginal post, I get the sense you have a lack of hope in your heart. Reading the Word of God is one thing, but accually believing it is another. It is loaded with wisdom, but you have to put it into practice. Even if you don't feel like it.

Word of God are biblical truths and help you understand the face of God. If you don't seek understanding and apply these truths to your life, then they won't be your wisdoms.

Phillippians 4:6-9


6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

I also noticed that you are very hard on yourself. Don't be. The Lord loved me when I was full of dyfunctions and struggling with a porn addiction. It is not about doing the right thing to be blessed by God, but acknowledging that he IS God. He WILL get you out of this hole you are in. Don't try to be perfect, instead allow yourself to grow steadly and lean on HIS strength to carry you thru.

Writing is good for the soul!

I am learning about the psalms, and I noticed a connection to old tool I use. We use a lot cliches when we are around people or God in our prayers, but rarely we go deeper to how we honously feel. Psalms were emotional and to the core of problems the people/authors had. Expressing how they truly felt yet still glorifying God.
I encourage you to start a journal, or Morning Pages as I orginally learned them. Get a note pad, or word processor. Everyday take like 15-30+mins to just write. I don't mean think something up, but to just listen to voice in your head. Just write down what you hear, weither it is good, bad, or ugly.

This tool will help you realize what you are truly thinking. As well help you understand what is going on in your heart. It will also help clear your thoughts.

Lastly for when you are ready to tackle your problems. This biblical truth was the foundation of my recovery process a year ago.

2 Chronicles 7:13-15

13 At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you. 14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land. 15 My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to every prayer made in this place.

"...will humble themselves..."
First you admit you have a problem. That is half the battle right their, since it is in our sinful nature to hide from God. (BTW this is a continual life time process of spiritual growth, for the Lord wants you to know the evil in your heart that needs to be purified.)

"...pray..."
Ask God to help you, and be sincere about expressing what you are going thru. He wants to help you to break free from this bondage. Don't try to do it all yourself, for Lord can bless you with resources, thougths/encouragement thru the Holy Spirit, or use others to reach you.

"...seek my face..."
Word of God is the way to go on this. Who better to help you understand yourself than the one who created you in the first place. We are not made for the things of this world, we were made in the image of God. Understanding who he is, his ways, and how he intended us to be leads to greator healing of self. Also more you understand the face of God, the deeper your relationship, freedom, and sense of joyfulness grows. We are his children, and we are very loved. =)

"...turn from their wicked ways..."
Once you understand why God's way is the path to life. Or truly understand his Wisdom. Now you start the hard and difficult path of sincerely changing your way of life. This is where sacrifices usually come in. Usually means you have to let go of something; friends, way of life(drinking, partying), a bad habit, etc. And put in it's place best God's wisdom, then put it in constant practice.
Much like a child learning to walk, you will stumble many times. Don't let the stumbles hinder you from making the change, instead learn from each mistake. Lean on the Lord as much you can. Eventually you will break free from your bondage.

Luke 12:29-31

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

Some sacrifices will cause great emotional pain, as you let go of an addiction or way of life. I want to encourage you thou. This scripture is so true, but it requires faith and hope. That things of old will be replaced with true desires of your heart. Lord knows your needs and desires better than you do. For he created them. Give up control or fears of never fullfilling them to Jesus.

I gave up my need to find a girlfriend(very hard struggle), year later I found a woman that completes me in every way. I gave up my computer and video games, today I am learning guitar and doing outreach. I gave up my old life and have this wonderful new one.

haha... sorry for so much. What happens when I get a day off.

May God bless you!

 

[selfhelpblogger]

Do you want to feel depressed?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[TheMainException]

The advice given is really true...action does precede motivation...I have no will to get out the mat and exercise, but when I do, I can exercise a while and it gets easier...it just takes that first few steps...you can do it...don't allow yourself to stay down, stand up, take a deep breathe and make a move.

 

[Lakercom]

prayers

 

[Lady Bug]

I am sorry for being lax on responding. I have a bad motivation problem to follow up on threads I write. I want to thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I hope that you will be able to find a medication that works for you hang in there!

 

[GryffinSong]

I went off one of my anti-depressants this winter and I've noticed a significant change for the worst in my depression. I know I need to go back on it, or on a different one, but I don't seem to get around to it. I have to see a doctor this month, though, because my other prescription will run out, so I'll bring it up then. For what its worth, antidepressants made all the difference in the world for me. It was the first time I truly understood how this is a real disease, and not just "in my head". Changing my brain chemistry, through medication, made me feel like "me" again. I literally got my life back. I was on two, that worked better for me together than just the one. I thought I didn't need them both anymore. I was wrong.

Is there any chance you can talk with your dad about it and get his support? Sometimes parents are more understanding than we give them credit for, and perhaps he's worried about you already?

Hugs to you, and I hope you find what you need in order to feel better. You deserve to get your life back!!!