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impending divorce

cakins720

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I am new to this site. I need some Chrisitan advice. I have been married for 23 years, my husband is an alcohol and substance abuser. We have 2 children. I am contemplating leaving him. I have prayed alot and don't feel an answer from God yet. This is an ongoing problem. He has had an affair, lied, taken money out of our joint account,etc. I told him I was considering leaving and he told me he would go for counseling, something he has not done before, but we have been at this spot MANY MANY times over the last 23 years and he always says he will change, and does for about a week or two- My question is what it this time is really different? How can I tell. I am so confused, frustrated and I am not sure what step to take next, any advice?
 

Yitzchak

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My advice is follow through with the counseling. Whether you do that living together or while seperated. As for how you can tell. I would pray but I think it wise that you look to some third parties to help you tell whether he is really changing. You are too close emotionally to be objective. The counselor and a good pastor will be some help.

Also I would see if there are some men from church who can help. It is almost impossible for you to handle all fo this on your own. Your husband knows all your buttons to push and needs the accountability of someone who will keep him off balance. Control is always the huge issue when it comes to an alcoholic.
 
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searle29678

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I've been through something similar (yes, here I go again) Not for 23 years, but it's still hard to deal with. My advice is don't be a doormat. If you feel you are in danger or your children are in danger definately leave. However, if you've been praying not everything happens on our time line the way we want it to. God may have something in mind that you can't conceive. Don't nag, don't badger him about it, and don't talk about it constantly. Give to God. It's hard and you may feel you have already done that. It's gonna be your decision ultimately to decide enough is enough, but try to trust God to bring you through this His way.
 
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