Im very confused help

[mikeforjesus]

I feel like ive been controlling my anger for a while through the grace of God (but it didnt seem to make me happy since I still didnt feel satisified with my relationships) but today I got really mad ... and the thoughts that race in my head while im angry that reinforce it are nothings changing anyway people listen to you when you are angry .. I even wanted to punch my dad .. because after church today I was talking to my dad about buying a neurotherapy machine (because I thought it might get me out of my ADHD/Anxiety hell to some degree )and he said I can ... so I went on the net for soo long until I was satisified with one to buy which was $3,770 , it made the $1500 (which we were okay with in the beginning) seem like it doesnt work.. but my dad was angry saying no.. then I said ok ill get the $1500 one , and he said No too ... and I even had a feeling he would say no before it because I sound like im angry when im not ... so that made me real mad I didnt punch him but I dont see the difference really (I know it matters ) but I know the same stuff gos on day after day but I just learn to control it (which is even hard for me since I have ADHD but I still can Coz of Jesus) Anyway after it I went to my mums (without her there) room and wept .. I dont know if its because of repentance (though I know I am sad for it and do u think it destroys all my progress or can I get up again from where I left not from the beginning?) I probably wept because I feel like this cross is hardly and I said God why dont u help me.. and other things similar to get His attention but then I say I know you do LORD but accept my repentance.. Am I still faithful to you LORD?


When I feel mad like this I tend to generalise to be angry with anyone because everyone is the same to me.. and everyone in the family calls me hurtful words when I have these tempers like stupid, and they never understand.



But I have another question how do I forgive the person? and how do I know if I have.. Im not afraid to say im sorry and to forgive them but I still feel I dont know .. not angry but isolated.

I hope someone understands .. I know what I wrote is probably too confusing but I need each question answered.. I feel like all this is affecting my mind sometimes I cant express.

 

[Music4Hym777]

Anyway after it I went to my mums (without her there) room and wept .. I dont know if its because of repentance (though I know I am sad for it and do u think it destroys all my progress or can I get up again from where I left not from the beginning?) I probably wept because I feel like this cross is hardly and I said God why dont u help me.. and other things similar to get His attention but then I say I know you do LORD but accept my repentance.. Am I still faithful to you LORD?

Honestly, the weeping part is very natural and healthy. The fact that you are sad for it, probably means repentance, especially if you are going to work really hard to change the behavior. It would be sorrow if you are not wanting/willing to change, but it is repentance if you are.

But I have another question how do I forgive the person? and how do I know if I have.. Im not afraid to say im sorry and to forgive them but I still feel I dont know .. not angry but isolated.

It sounds to me like you want to forgive them, but you want to hold on to it. Even with forgiveness, the relationship may be hurt a little. Ask yourself if you are isolated because you are still harboring feelings?

I hope someone understands .. I know what I wrote is probably too confusing but I need each question answered.. I feel like all this is affecting my mind sometimes I cant express.

I hope I've answered them all for you. I am by no means a psychologist, but these are what I have learned over the years.

 

[mikeforjesus]

yeah you answered most of them . Thankyou and I dont want a psychologist to answer I want wise christian believers .. but its ok if your a psychologist plus all that.

The other ones I think I know the answer now thanx.. I didnt really pose them as questions but they are just feelings I needed sorted out.. and if they are right feelings.