I'm trippy these days....

[youthwalk]

AAARRRGGHHH!!

I hate this!

I've been so out of it recently. i keep getting into fights with people close to me. Well one person in particular. But it's really crappy because that person is closest to me...I feel like I've lost my best friend

I feel a bit down. I'm back on meds [Lithium]...the older version that I was taking before, that worked for me. It doesn't feel too effective right now. I'm considering whether adding Paxil will benefit me as much as it did before. That combo worked splendidly once. And then I dropped the antidepressant.

I feel terrible. And what's scaring me the most is that I don't care about stuff. I don't want to do anything, including go to the great job that I just started...

 

[spdnet75]

Youthwalk, the things that you describe are not uncommon. I have had occasions in the past where I had been successfully taking medication and just stopped. People with certain types of mental illnesses commonly go off of medications after a period of feeling well, or in my case, self-medicate with illegal drugs and alcohol.

I have stopped showing up for jobs and even getting out of bed over the depression that can set in.

It's important to note that you will need to take medication for your illness for the rest of your life and that there is no shame in it at all. You can enjoy the new job and substantially decrease the negative instances that you have with loved ones. You simply need to decide that you are going to participate in your treatment and be as honest with your therapist as you can. The rest will fall into place and you will be able to love life the way that you desire to.

Good luck, God bless and keep us updated on your progress.

 

[Alive again]

Praying for you! Do not let yourself slip into depression tooo badly without calling for help. Seems like you are already thinking along those lines. And yes, one of the hardest things sometimes with this illness is staying on our meds, but it is important. Relapses just get more severe over time. Own up to your mistakes with those you have hurt, evne when a symptom of an illness, we need to deal with the havoc we create. Blessings and prayers!

 

[goldenviolet]

you need a *warmfuzzie*

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Youthwalk,

My heart goes out to you. I agree with all the posts before mine Goldenviolet was right...you do need "warmfuzzies" As a fellow bp and one who kept going off meds, I know personally how important it is to stay on your meds.

Will be for you!

Love from a fellow bp

 

[PrairieGurl]

Greetings youthwalk

I know it's only been a couple of days...but are you feeling any better?

Thinking of you

 

[youthwalk]

Hi WantoBe

Thank you for your support and concern. God Bless you.

I've been trying to keep busy and it's been working to stabilise me a bit...not too busy that I end up frustrated, just enough so that I'm actually tired when I get home so it's straight to bed.

I didn't stop my meds. I stopped Paxil which was added during a traumatic experience I had. I weaned myself off that eventually and believe me (I know it's sometimes hard too ) when I say that I was great. That was alomst a year ago...I took Paxil for about 4mths. Not as perky but stable, contented and truly satsified and having come to terms with and confronted many of my deep issues I learnt to approach life differently. I faced a few crises after that but I didn't need the additional antidepressant in combo with Lithium. Lithium was fine alone.
I'm still taking my Lithium. An upped dosage since my serum Lithium test showed that I had very little Lithium in my system. Well below what it was supposed to be.

I just seem to be going through a tough time recently. Since about march, exams at school, I missed two periods which is odd because I'm regular. It finally came last month and now it's late again. I actually don't expect that it'll come soon. I'll probably miss another month. I don't know why I'm so stressed. I just started a new job. My first real job and it's a big responsibility so it could be that. Home is a litlle messed up as well. More than usual. So there's that.

My pdo said that we'll give it two weeks before reevaluating. And if I feel really bad during/before then and I think I need help, we'll add Paxil again. It worked incredibly well for me last time in combo with Lithium. And if there is no crisis then Lithium works well alone. I just can't figure out why it's not working so well now.

 

[Alive again]

Will keep praying for you. It does sound like there have been a lot of life changes to cope with. It is odd for me as well, how I can be doing great and then hmmm, what happened. I have come to think that I do cycle still, just not to the same extremes. My doc and I are working on how much emotion I can handle and how much med I need. But you have gone through a few major life stressors it sounds like, so acknowledge those and allow yourself the time and meds if you need them to adjust to that. Sounds like you are doing an excellent job of advocating for yourself and working with your doc!!!

Kudos, blessings and prayers!!!

 

[youthwalk]

Thank you ALive Again! God Bless you.

Thank you for praying for me and I will also lift you in prayer.

I hate the instability which seems to be characteristic of the illness. It's aggravating and it leaves me feeling like I can't trust myself. Well, because I can't really

Sister, I encourage you to stay strong and trust God inspite of the circumstances.

I have been involved from day one with what's happening with me. I researched my med well before I was even placed on them. My pdoc and I have a great relationship, relaxed, trusting, open. I'm naturally inquisitive. So research is something I enjoy. My pdoc is also the head of psychiatry here in T&T and he's a senior lecturer at the med school of my college so he coaches me about the illness like he's teaching me sometimes...which I enjoy. It's great to have ended up in good hands. God is so wonderful...

and

Blessings,
Brianna

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest youthwalk,


(I just seem to be going through a tough time recently. Since about march, exams at school, I missed two periods which is odd because I'm regular. It finally came last month and now it's late again. I actually don't expect that it'll come soon. I'll probably miss another month. I don't know why I'm so stressed. I just started a new job. My first real job and it's a big responsibility so it could be that. Home is a litlle messed up as well. More than usual. So there's that.

My pdo said that we'll give it two weeks before reevaluating. And if I feel really bad during/before then and I think I need help, we'll add Paxil again. It worked incredibly well for me last time in combo with Lithium. And if there is no crisis then Lithium works well alone. I just can't figure out why it's not working so well now.)

After reading this Dear, I know why your stressed!!!!
That's alot of "stuff" to deal with if one is "normal" let alone when someone is bp.
I have been doing well for the last couple of days THEN...today I ended up due to some major money problems that will affect whether I can buy meds or not. I also am deeply tempted to use something to take the pain and sick feeling in my stomach away. I will be calling some people for support.
Thank you for your honesty ! It sure makes one more free to share honestly also!

 

[youthwalk]

Dearest youthwalk,




I have been doing well for the last couple of days THEN...today I ended up due to some major money problems that will affect whether I can buy meds or not. I also am deeply tempted to use something to take the pain and sick feeling in my stomach away. I will be calling some people for support.
Thank you for your honesty ! It sure makes one more free to share honestly also!

I'm praying for you. Praying that you be strengthened and renewed at this time. That you will be granted peace and joy beyond comprehension. That all your needs, financial, emotional, physical and spiritual be met with abundance. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Hold on. I believe with you for God's provision. I also want to encourage you to not give in to that temptation.

I've decide to not hide any more. For me it tends to make things more upsetting, more stressful and more difficult when I come here to fellowship, to be edified and I can't say what's on my mind because I'm not too sure. I say it now! Sometimes I just want to scream...I need to feel able to say that. sometimes I need to vent about a particular thing. Feel free to open up at your own pace. It helps me though to just say what I'm feeling, what I'm going through.

Stay blessed and stay strong in the Lord,

Brianna

 

[Alive again]

youthwalk and wanttobe, I am praying for you both! Praise God for wonderful docs who helps us and treat us like we can understand what is going on. I used to be an RN, so I also like to research. And I agree, hiding just made me worse, and I love having a place where I can come and safely vent! Blessings!

 

[berry2000]

Hi youthwalk after reading your posts here I surely can relate. It really sounds like me you are talking about. I recently when through a lot of stress and the same thing happened to me...all my bipolar symtpoms came back and my periods were all wacked out. It turns out stress was the major trigger. The pdoc adjusted the meds and put me back on a combonation that worked, and the stressed passed and I'm feeling a lot better. All this to say, if you can make it through the stress, and let your body recover and keep in close contact w/ your pdoc hopefully you'll be feeling a lot better too.

I will be praying for you!

 

[PrairieGurl]

tears of joy !!! I find this place OVERWHELMING !

Thanks for the support, honesty, prayers and genuine love and care !
The Lord is truely using this place to show that He can use any form, for His Glory !

Posted with LOVE

 

[PrairieGurl]

PRAISE THE LORD AND HIS FAITHFULNESS TO THIS LAMB THAT I DID NOT GIVE INTO TEMPTATION !!

 

[berry2000]

Oh, very cool. Not sure what the temptation was but am really glad you were able to withstand it.

I am still praying for you girl!

 

[Alive again]

Amen!!!!

 

[youthwalk]

PRAISE THE LORD AND HIS FAITHFULNESS TO THIS LAMB THAT I DID NOT GIVE INTO TEMPTATION !!

Praise God!

 

[youthwalk]

Hi youthwalk after reading your posts here I surely can relate. It really sounds like me you are talking about. I recently when through a lot of stress and the same thing happened to me...all my bipolar symtpoms came back and my periods were all wacked out. It turns out stress was the major trigger. The pdoc adjusted the meds and put me back on a combonation that worked, and the stressed passed and I'm feeling a lot better. All this to say, if you can make it through the stress, and let your body recover and keep in close contact w/ your pdoc hopefully you'll be feeling a lot better too.

I will be praying for you!

Thank you Berry!

I will be praying for you as well.

My period did come yesterday so hopefull that means that I'm doing better. I seems like the second I totally relax and my mood improves it comes. It's weird.

I feel a deal better now.

Thank you so much to you guys here. All this support and fellowship has been amazing! I agree with WantToBe in saying that this place is God sent.

Blessings,
B.

 

[PorcelainHeart]

I know how you feel, Im like that too, I trip all that time! Hugs, if you ever want to talk we can talk on yahoo messanger, igot rid of msn because it was messing up my computer.