I'm too sensitive

[Chococat]

I would like some advice on how to become less easily hurt. From my childhood I have always been oversensitive. This has become a real problem since I've been using the Net and various message boards. I have lost count of the times I have been reduced to tears by unkind remarks by people on "Christian" boards (this one including). For instance on another board a few days ago another member just flew at me for no reason and I am still feeling upset over it. I know I should just brush it off but I find it very hard. Has anyone any tips on how to deal with this as it has got to the stage where I am scared of posting on boards for fear someone will say something mean. I don't want to become hard but neither do I want to remain the way I am.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I think the first thing you need to do is find out why you get upset, why you care so much about how other people think of you. Pray to God and ask Him to show you what is going on, for guidance. You have probably asked yourself what is going on a million times, so maybe you already know. Seeing a counselor might also help put together a thorough picture.

What people think of us is isn't important. If they have a misconception about us, it isn't true so it doesn't matter. If we get an opportunity to correct that misconception, great, if not, it's still OK. If it isn't a misconception and we really are "guilty" of something, then the problem isn't what they think, but that we are guilty. So in the end, the only thing that matters is what God thinks of us. God always knows the truth, so there is no fear of misconceptions, everything is in plain sight for Him.

Then it all comes down to getting used to not caring about what other people think of you. Stopping to dwell on it, dismissing unproductive thoughts, and so on. I know it's easily said, I'm in a similar situation myself, and the sensitivity/worry/fear won't go away instantly, but I believe with God's help it is possible. By the way, I'm not saying we shouldn't care (love) about other people, just not about what someone thinks of us based on "false" information.

 

[Chococat]

Thanks for the advice OTA.

 

[jamiel]

Hey there,

Just letting you know that you're not alone -- I'm overly sensitive myself.

You don't want a hardened heart, yet you don't want to be extremely sensitive to the point where it infears or is disabling. Rarely do I even read the replies after me in part because of this (and also because of time constraints).

The advice above sounds great. It's just putting it into practice. All that matters is what God thinks. May He give you strength.



God Bless and good luck.

 

[Believers Baptism]

Chococat,

I don't know what you can do to become less sensitive to people's reactions to you on internet messageboards.

I guess one thing that might help you is that people like me use internet messageboards. I am an idiot. I don't know anything about you or your life. Do you really care what I think, or what I type onto any messageboard? I can't stress to you enough how much of an imbecile I am...

As long as you have your family, friends and God in your life then you are fine. There are plenty of good people on internet messageboards but there are also plenty of idiots. Take everything anyone types with a pinch of salt as they know as much about you as I do... Nothing.

 

[Angeldove97]

This is more of a "think about it" post than advice

Perhaps God gave you this gentle heart for a reason--- perhaps He'll bring you a "opened door" in order to show you how to help people. Perhaps its meant to inspire, more than bring you down. I know God shapes us with our own personalities for a reason: don't see this oversensitivity as a negative thing, I'm sure God can do alot of good with it.

Plus it's a blessing to know we have members here who are sensitive to others--- it reminds us to curb our words and watch what we post... it reminds us that we are human beings beyond these computers.

God bless

 

[goldenviolet]

you know how popular i am? ooohhh, dee this and dee that! lol. i cry very very easily (ask my team mates ). i use to feel weak when i cried. now i feel empowered. i feel things very deeply. i have to agree with angeldove here. you don't need advice inmo, you need to know that some of us have been through alot, and or just hard-wired sensitive. i know you from around here and there. i think you are quite a sweetheart. level-headed, and also a sensitive soul. this doesn't make you weak at all. yes, i have those days that everything hurts, tears flow, and i look back later and say to myself, "wow, i really was a mess: could've done this... should've done that... wish i'd seen this... wish i thought about that... boy how embarrassing"... and apologetic too. sweetheart, we all have these days. it's part of learning. no, not everyone tears and feels the wieght of their hard life: but i'll garrentee you they sure have their own simular dialog. it's all part of our life trials and how the Lord shapes and teaches us.
inmo, you just need to practice balancing out your trials. like practice feeling ok with hurt and tears: but not belittle yourself for being such a tenderhearted soul. (imagine the trials of ones who have to practice being tenderhearted! boy that's a biggie for some... they're "uber strong"... (((not))) their struggles are just as difficult)... practice building upon who you are in the Lord's kingdom, verses balancing out tearing yourself down, for someone else's standards on you. practicing talking it out without feeling whiny or venting: but seeing we all need to bounce our trials off others. practice looking into your spiritual growths, gifts, and strengths: compare them to how much your hard-wiring, hard life, or sensitivity plays a very positive role in these and the life of yourself and others. and most of all, many see your name as popular as mine: because of your personality. it's very sweet, quite the survivor; you're one of us. bask in the love of those who will be the hands and feet of Jesus, when you are in need to be built up and ministered too. and when you are in need: remember you can't always be the hands and feet of Jesus: you bless others to allow them to be His hands and feet to you. and, speak up when you feel sensitive; you help shape others too. xo dee

 

[Chococat]

Chococat,

I don't know what you can do to become less sensitive to people's reactions to you on internet messageboards.

I guess one thing that might help you is that people like me use internet messageboards. I am an idiot. I don't know anything about you or your life. Do you really care what I think, or what I type onto any messageboard? I can't stress to you enough how much of an imbecile I am...

As long as you have your family, friends and God in your life then you are fine. There are plenty of good people on internet messageboards but there are also plenty of idiots. Take everything anyone types with a pinch of salt as they know as much about you as I do... Nothing.

Actually you are not an idiot, that is just something Satan wants you to believe. You are a child of God just as all believers in Christ are. To you and everyone who has posted here, thanks for your replies.

 

[SUNSTONE]

People treat you mean and this hurts your feelings?
You sound normal to me.

There is no depth of how hard people can get when they are kicked around.
In extreme cases, you'll get a lot more than just some bad name calling.
Some people literally have to run for their lives, to avoid being beaten to death.
In some places people are so bad that their best friends are people who kick them around the least.


Strength comes from God, mature family and mature friends.(mature meaning they don't have big sin issues).
If you don't have atleast 2 of those 3 things you are in a dangerous place.

I figure about 90% of the world is in a dangerous place.

 

[Oyunlari]

You aren't over sensetive, in fact, you can propably become more sensetive, however, you need to learn to handle the pain you receive propely, just let love overcome, you are already sensetive because you have an open heart and love easily, just push that love through the problem and let it overcome, feel sorry for those who are mean to you, rather than taking offense.

 

[Anti Existance]

You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events, if you let the enemy into your castle they will only end up destroying it(even if its family), and leaving you crying over the ruins.From there you can keep on crying, or rebuild your life, i advice you to rebuild your life.

Its like this , you at the moment are like a sponge, you absorb everything the good as well as the bad, its wrong , you need to be indifferent about negativity. Care only about a caring attitude, and care not for non caring attitudes. Give zero value to negative opinions. If someone calls me a dumb blonde i could go scream in rage, and be upset in tears, be angry and kill them. Or i could put zero value to what that person says and walk on. Jesus speaks out not to judge, so if someone judges me as a dumb blonde, then i know already that they are wrong. I don't need their validation for my life, God validated my life by creating me. Why would i therefore care about what inconsiderate people think? These comments are unproductive and thus aren't worth your time and energy to waste on, so stop putting value to something that doesn't deserve to be put value at.