Hey friends. I'm a 37 year old man who is married to an awesome woman, she is the only wife I have ever had and hopefully will have. We have a daughter together. Since early adolescence I have had an extremely strong sex drive. I have had few sexual partners other than my wife, with years of no sexual activity between partners. I have masturbated since I was 13. Sometimes with porn or nude pictures but usually without, I've never had any use for this material outside of masturbation. Masturbation has always functioned as my "relief valve" for pent-up sexual desire. I would rather that I did not do it, but I also wish I was not burdened with an extraordinarily strong sexual desire.
I went to Christian school most of my years growing up. In 7th grade we all had to take a "sex respect" course that had been written in the 1960's. Much of the material was laughable even from a Christian viewpoint, and of course it did not acknowledge different theological perspectives. The essential message was, if you have sex outside of marriage, even just once and use condoms, you are guaranteed to become pregnant and inflicted with every form of venereal disease known to man. Not to mention you have robbed your future spouse of the "gift" of your virginity, the lack thereof will cause very few people to chance a marriage with you.
The ridiculous course further taught that sexuality does a magical, chimera like transformation when the officiant at your wedding pronounces you husband and wife. Sex is no longer the tempting grim reaper of the unmarried leaving a trail of disease, pregnancy, and broken relationships in it's wake. No, when that magic ring goes on your finger sex becomes God's special, holiest of holies gift to husbands and wives. In fact the more sex a husband and wife have the stronger and more Godly their marriage will be. Yes, they really did teach that. Needless to say, I found none of this plausible.
My strong sex drive has continued unabated, with masturbation providing modest relief. I still do it about every other day. When I was wandering through the long desert of bachelorhood, my sex drive ruined more than one relationship that had serious potential. It has also given me the habit of judging women by their sexual attraction. I have long avoided making friends with attractive women because I don't want to constantly be thinking about what they look like naked or place myself in temptation of adultery. In fact, one just walked by me and my dirty mind lept into action.
I didn't meet my wife until I was 28, we got married when I was 32. She has a very low sex drive. Since our daughter was born it has dropped even further. When we do have sex her behavior suggests that it is more work than pleasure, and I don't get the feeling that she enjoys it. To be honest, I envy her. Sexuality has done absolutely nothing good for me other than play a role in bringing about our daughter. I have always wanted to be married for companionship and love, and that is exactly what I have with my wife. She is so good to me, and I never want to lose her.
Sex has not been a "gift" in my life, within marriage or without. In fact, if my wife said that she wanted to stop having sex for a time, or even permanently, I would be totally okay with that. I would like to find ways to get rid of this cursed thing, or at least trim it down to a fraction of what it is now. All the time my mind spends thinking about sex would be so well spent in other ways. Thanks for listening!
I went to Christian school most of my years growing up. In 7th grade we all had to take a "sex respect" course that had been written in the 1960's. Much of the material was laughable even from a Christian viewpoint, and of course it did not acknowledge different theological perspectives. The essential message was, if you have sex outside of marriage, even just once and use condoms, you are guaranteed to become pregnant and inflicted with every form of venereal disease known to man. Not to mention you have robbed your future spouse of the "gift" of your virginity, the lack thereof will cause very few people to chance a marriage with you.
The ridiculous course further taught that sexuality does a magical, chimera like transformation when the officiant at your wedding pronounces you husband and wife. Sex is no longer the tempting grim reaper of the unmarried leaving a trail of disease, pregnancy, and broken relationships in it's wake. No, when that magic ring goes on your finger sex becomes God's special, holiest of holies gift to husbands and wives. In fact the more sex a husband and wife have the stronger and more Godly their marriage will be. Yes, they really did teach that. Needless to say, I found none of this plausible.
My strong sex drive has continued unabated, with masturbation providing modest relief. I still do it about every other day. When I was wandering through the long desert of bachelorhood, my sex drive ruined more than one relationship that had serious potential. It has also given me the habit of judging women by their sexual attraction. I have long avoided making friends with attractive women because I don't want to constantly be thinking about what they look like naked or place myself in temptation of adultery. In fact, one just walked by me and my dirty mind lept into action.
I didn't meet my wife until I was 28, we got married when I was 32. She has a very low sex drive. Since our daughter was born it has dropped even further. When we do have sex her behavior suggests that it is more work than pleasure, and I don't get the feeling that she enjoys it. To be honest, I envy her. Sexuality has done absolutely nothing good for me other than play a role in bringing about our daughter. I have always wanted to be married for companionship and love, and that is exactly what I have with my wife. She is so good to me, and I never want to lose her.
Sex has not been a "gift" in my life, within marriage or without. In fact, if my wife said that she wanted to stop having sex for a time, or even permanently, I would be totally okay with that. I would like to find ways to get rid of this cursed thing, or at least trim it down to a fraction of what it is now. All the time my mind spends thinking about sex would be so well spent in other ways. Thanks for listening!
