I'm tired of being alone

[MrDude]

That's all I feel anymore. I just feel alone. Not just in the relationship department.

I screw up and sin every day of my life. I'm having trouble believing that God really loves me, because I'm such a horrible person. I try reading the Bible, praying, but I just can't seem to stop. I know I could never totally stop sinning, but I wish I could at least improve in the person that I am. But I'm not. I just feel like there is almost no relationship with me and God anymore, because I screw everything up. God's been so good to me, but I screw it all up.

And it hurts even more, because I know that I'm such a bad person, I'll never be with anybody, I'll never get to enjoy marriage. No one could or should, for that matter, want to be with me. I envy you people that have tremendous faith and a terrific relationship with God.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself or anything, I just needed to rant or something.

 

[desi]

If you knowingly sin and believe you can't stop you are in a rut. You can stop sinning and when you do things will get better. Its not a matter of you being 'bad' so much as you make bad choices sometimes. So start doing what you know is right and see what happens.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I know how you feel Mr. Dude. I do stupid stuff all of the time and feel like I'm in a rut. I've been in the same rut for probably half of my life. All Christians hate me so God probably does too by now.

 

[klewlis]

Hey MrDude!
(and HoosierCanuck too, these words are for you as well!)

You are NOT a horrible person. You are who God created you to be. And not only that, you are justified and forgiven through the blood of Christ and regenerated by his Holy Spirit. You are a child of God and there is NOTHING you can do that would make him stop loving you. He loves you fervently and endlessly, and wants nothing more than to have a wonderful, deep, beautiful relationship with you.

We all sin. I sin every day and am often amazed at the capacity for evil inside of me. Even Paul, who we think was the greatest, said, "I am the worst of sinners". But in the next breath he was praising God for his salvation, because God is bigger than all of that. Do we honestly thing that our sin is greater than God's love? There is no rationality in that kind of thinking! But we think that way when we put ourselves at the centre instead of him.

Your words worry me. They are the kinds of words that I hear from people who have been abused and/or neglected from childhood on. Please PM me if you want to talk. The important thing to remember is that God loves you SO much and will never stop. Your life CAN be good and blessed and happy. It might take time and effort. But it is possible and worth working towards. And God is faithful.

 

[Olga]

MrDude and HoosierCanuck, I assure you those people that have tremendous faith and a terrific relationship with G-d sin every day too. For real. In actual fact, we'll never stop sinning while breathing this air. BUT G-d hates no one as He is love itself. Or maybe you think the Lord didn`t know your nature when he decided to save you? The only thing G-d wants you to realize is you can in no way stop sinning yourself, or else the Holy Blood of Jesus would be senseless. Just believe He knows what He is doing for the moment. Trust Him. You know, when I`m alone I`m in His presence. He carries us when we can`t carry on.
Write to me if you feel like that.

 

[SDSUMarcus01]

.

 

[RJ1]

I feel lonely too sometimes but I know I'm never alone. I know God is with me, always. He's with you too and He knows how you feel. Pray to Him and ask Him to guide you to those who would be your friends. Sometimes we go through quiet times and alone times, I think, because it's what's needed.

I sin too. We all do. Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:8. I think that it's a good thing that you are aware that you're sinning. I know the times in my life when I behaved the worst, I couldn't see it as wrong. When God started working on me, then I saw it, and how! Seeing my daily sins has really helped me to grow. It's no fun at first when it hits you but I feel it's an important process to go through. It leads to growth.
I caught myself today being sarcastic instead of happy for someone else's good fortune. Not good. But now that I see this tendency I have toward this person I can take stock of myself and see why I feel this way and pray for healing and forgiveness in that area. I know that God knows I'm not perfect and doesn't ask it of me. If I could be perfect then Jesus would not have had to die for my sins. He knows I'm trying and it's obvious you're trying too. Don't give up. Some things are harder to overcome than others but nothing is impossible as far as God goes.

As for not getting married. Don't worry about it. Pray for God to lead you to the right person, when you are both ready to find each other. My husband and I were nearly thirty when we first met. We both were convinced we'd be alone forever. Now I can look back and see that we just weren't ready for each other until then. God's timing worked perfectly.

God loves you. Don't ever doubt it. John 3:16 , 1 John 4:7-19

I don't know if this will help pick your spirits up or not but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in how you feel and well, you're never alone. Hang in there and keep trusting in Him. He'll get you through this.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Dude, I have a friend who is in her early forties and has never been married (probably never has dated either). She is an attractive, nice Christian woman so it's not like she couldn't find a decent man. I guess what I'm saying is the date part....yeah, it stinks when you desire it and it just won't happen but dont' worry too much.

Dating and all that isn't what it's cracked up to be anyway. It's just another thing that brings another type of stress and possibly other temptations into our lives.

I'm okay with being 'alone' in terms of 'romance' or whatever. I'm just sick of not having any real friends. Everyone's so bloody busy anymore. I'm sick of my boring life and wish I could do better. I've been home a lot today and I guess it's gotten to me. I was all good with God on Friday afternoon and then sinned away by Friday night. How many times can a person say "please forgive me" before God says "Go away. I'm through with you! You're of no use to my Kingdom"

 

[kelco]

Hey HoosierCanuk and MrDude,

I know how you guys feel cuz I've been feeling the same way lately. It's hard to be alone and sometimes it really gets to you. You see all your friends in a relationship and suddenly no one has any time for you anymore. But this is the time when you have to lean on Jesus. The verse I have been repeating over and over for the past few weeks is this:
Deut 31:6 "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." NASB

You don't have to be afraid that God will ever say that He is through with you. Sometimes I think he uses these periods of lonliness and self doubt to draw us closer to Him.
If you guys get to feeling bad or just want to talk PM or IM me cause I do care.

Kelly

 

[Justin04]

is this about masturbation?

 

[MrDude]

Thanks for the offers guys, but I'm not gonna PM anybody, don't wanna waste any more of your time than I already have.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

is this about masturbation?

I don't think so. lol!

 

[Jaegang72]

Mr dude.

Hey. If you are there, listen up man.

For the last 10-13 years , I have been in the biggest hole ever. A kind of private hell. I had severe depression and often suicidal due to a personal problem . So much so that, I didn't bother with God and was thinking of enjoying life in whatever I could before I died.

But God in his grace turned it around. The reason why you and Hoosier and many many others are in such a deep horrible personal hell is because you guys like me believed the lies .. lies we tell ourselves and lies we believe Satan tells us.

Lemme give you an example ok...

If in your mind you think like so... I am terrible sinner. I stuff up all the time. Everyone hates me. God doesn't care about me. I am better off dead.

If your self talk in your mind is like that, it will make your emotions feel terrible. You will get an emotional pain. A horrible feeling and depressed feeling.

Your emotions will then affect your actions. You turn people away. You may begin to give up reading bible or praying because you think you are so horrible anyway. You feel so bad that you begin to fail at school.

Your actions due to your self hate and depression will produce the very thing that you are afraid of. You do begin to lose friends because you have chosen to push people away. Your sins seem to get worse as you think you are so deep you dont care anymore so sins get worse and worse.

These will then feedback on your mind and what you think about yourself. And then the whole cycle starts again. Getting worse and worse and until you just feel you want to die.

This my friend is the trick of Satan or at least how people go down a downspiral of oblivion.

Brothers, I was there and there is a way out. Know the truth and the truth will set you free. You have to start in your mind. What does scripture say... be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Break the cycle with the self talk in your mind. Let us take Hoosiercanuck's self talk.

"HoosierCanuck...More Hated Than Bin Laden, More Rejected Than Jesus "
When such thoughts come into your mind. Challenge it.
You are not more hated then Bin Laden. See what bible says about this.
Romans 8:39
....neither height nor depth or anything in all creation , will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord....
Now you have a choice. Do you want to continue with the deception lie that You are so hated... or do you want to believe what scripture says... that you are so tenderly and fiercely loved. What else does scripture says.. it talks about the shepherd who lost his 1 sheep out of the lot. What does he do?? He leaves the rest to find that 1 sheep. Finding the sheep, he is overjoyed, carries his sheep on his shoulders back!

Why believe Satan or our own lies ? Read God's word. Memorize it and begin to challenge all them lies that make you hate and despise yourself. Replace those lies with the word of God.

Finally, it seems that you may be quite depressed. I would suggest 3 things

1) See a christian counsellor and your youth pastor.
2) Find someone trustworthy and tell em your problems and begin to pray with that person once a week everyweek.
3) Get this book.. the search for significance by .... Robert McGee... V. good book.

Cheers. If any issue, pm me.

 

[MrDude]

What about blasphemy against the Holy Spirit? Before I accepted Christ, I committed a lot of blasphemy, and I can't help but think that one of those was against the Holy Spirit. And if that's true, which it just very well may be, then there is no forgiveness for me. And that explains why I always feel so alone.

 

[Jaegang72]

Brother, you are being lied to. If you have the conscience to worry about this sin, then you really don't have it. People who commit this sin, hardened their hearts against the Holy Spirit, willfully unbelief and rejecting the witness of the Holy Spirit.

Again let us goto the scriptures to examine this belief of yours that you have commited the unpardonable sin. We must challenge it with truth or you will have extreme depression and be suicidal.

Let us examine a blasphemer .... who other than the great apostle Paul who became the greatest of all the apostles. Paul called himself a blasphemer but God made him aware that he did so in IGNORANCE.

Read! and be set free.
1 timothy 1:13
Even though i was once a blasphemer and a prosecutor and a violent man , I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.

Please read this verse and meditate on it. Meditate on it when you feel accused and condemnation.

You need to read this article on doctrine regarding blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.
http://ag.org/top/beliefs/christian_doctrines/gendoct_10_unpardonable.cfm
(scroll down for it)

Brother you need to come out from your isolated shell. I can tell you are too isolated and we know what Satan likes to do . He is like a lion on the prowl looking for someone to devour. Don't be on the sidelines on the periphery. You open yourself to spiritual attack. Be careful, there is a battle we cannot see between good and evil. Please find your youth pastor.. Talk to him. And get a prayer partner and join a bible study group if you not in one.

Be encouraged. Gimme your first name. We will pray for you in the prayer groups. Others please pray for our dear brother.

cheers

 

[charligirl]

Brother, you are being lied to. If you have the conscience to worry about this sin, then you really don't have it. People who commit this sin, hardened their hearts against the Holy Spirit, willfully unbelief and rejecting the witness of the Holy Spirit.

Amen!!! If someone is worrying whether they accidentally committed the unforgiveable sin.. then they haven't! If you had the Holy Spirit would have left you and you would not be feeling convicted, woprried or anything else!

 

[songz777]

Hey Dude man, We all have been in bad times; and God seems far away but He does finally bring us into blessing. Your 18 im 41, If i can carry on for God against all odds and not give up (even with no real friends or even a dear woman) I know you can. The greatest antidote for all your sorrows is the one you feel hates you. Jesus. Spend time with Him and with good people, and soon God will bring you into the next chapter in your life.
Bless you |John

 

[jenptcfan]

Even someone who you think of as a Christian role model in your life sins, so don't think that you're automatically a terrible person and unlovable because of that. Nobody is perfect. Every person here struggles with sin on a daily basis. We aren't going to do everything 100% correct, but we just have to repent and keep trying to live right. I agree that it sounds like the Holy Spirit is convicting you--this is great evidence that God has not turned away from you.

When I've gone through times when I've felt weighed down with my sin, it has been really hard for me to figure out how a perfect God could LOVE me. The fact of the matter is that God's love endures forever. We can't do anything to deserve it, and we can't do anything to lose it.

Something that really rang true to me (when I was depressed about sin in my life) is the following verse in Luke 7:

47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

The more I realized how big my sins were and that God was willing to forgive those big sins, the more I came to love and appreciate God. When I racked up some sins that I couldn't even forgive myself for, and realized that God was willing to forgive and forget them, I was completely in awe of his Grace--in a way I had never been before.

Let God use this time to show you how big He is. He can turn this experience into a blessing.

 

[MrDude]

You guys really have helped, and I really do appreciate it it. Thank you.

 

[TriptychR]

When we find ourselves alone, it seems to become a prime time for us to attack ourselves. We agonize over what we feel are our faults, and since no one is around to tell us differently--to say they have those same faults as well--we take them too greatly to heart and conclude that we are worthless, which is why we're alone. Then the cycle begins over again.

I've been in this sort of cycle myself before, especially in the first year I went to college. It's easy to decieve yourself to the point where you lock yourself in your room and don't even bother to try anymore, but as long as you have faith in God and yourself there is always someone out there who will appreciate you; people are not as judgmental of us as we can be of ourselves.