I'm struggling to let go of 'stuff'

[riona]

I have had strong feelings for the last 6 weeks that God wants me to just let go of all of my material possessions beyond every day needs, and I'm struggling with it.

I have a 10x30 and a 10x10 storage units that are packed full of stuff from manic obsessions past.

I don't know how.. How do I just get rid of all of these things that have defined me for so long?

I dream of simplicity. I really do. But I fear it.

Not to mention the cost.
There's literally thousands of dollars worth of stuff in there... And I know I won't get anything near its value back if I try to sell it.

And what if I need it again? When I get to a place I can use it again, I would have to buy it all again! Theres more money wasted.

Not to mention I love my things. I simply don't want to lose everything.

I'm so torn.

 

[riona]

You know what it is too?
Without these things that show who I am, I am nobody. I am a wife and mom, and that is it. I have nothing giving me any other purpose.
I have struggled with that for years.

Surely there is more to me than my husband and children's caregiver. ?

 

[CraftyTurtle]

Plan (on paper / internet) a family vacation for next Summer.
Pay for it by selling your excess stuff, and the rent you'd normally pay on the storage locker.

Ask yourself, what is more important - a "surprise" family vacation somewhere nice, or "stuff".


...having said that, I too am a bit of a stuff-magnet. At least I no longer have a storage unit. Storage units are too easy to just forget - out of sight, out of mind.


Funny you talk about purpose in life - I do not have kids, and hearing friends share stories of their love for their kids, I wonder if *my* life has no purpose.
TV and movies presents us with this ideal "perfect mother" who is wife, mother, friend, successful businesswoman, etc, etc. In reality, few women are all those things. ....and in my experience, women who have it all, and do it all, are actually lacking in something we don't see - eg too busy for coffee with the "girls", or they are short-tempered, or something.

Embrace who you are. Remember as you sit with your child to hear him read, or you drive your child to soccer practice and sing silly songs with him in the car, ..... remember all the kids whose mother does not do those things because she's working, or "has her own life". Remember as you prepare supper for your family, as you cook those roast potatoes extra crispy cos your husband loves them that way, ...remember those husbands (or single men) who would love a home-cooked meal, but live on drive-thru and microwave tv dinners.

Whose mother would your kids rather have? Whose wife would your husband rather have?

 

[KnowHisJoy77]

Get into a Christian support group to help you to sort things out.

Why do you need so many things in storage? For what? Do you shop a lot? Is this an addiction?

 

[riona]

I live in the country, there are no support groups around here. Which is why I use the internet.

No, its not an addiction... Its the upswing of bipolar. When I'm manic for longer periods of time, I get obsessed with new things.

For example, at one time it was fish. And I had 2 55gallon, 1 90gallon, and multiple 10 and 20 gallon tanks running at the same time. I would obsess over them for months throughout my manic upswing. Then, on the downswing I would lose interest and sell the fish and store the tanks and supplies. So far I've been able to use where we are living as an excuse as to why I can't set them up again, but want to keep them in case we get another place I can. And honestly I would love to run a couple, but I just haven't been able to, and won't be able to until we get a new place to live. In the mean time they sit in storage.

 

[quietpraiyze]

[FONT=Georgia, serif]Hi riona [/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]Oh how well I know about manic purchases. This last past summer I had what I called “the oh so great giveaway”! I had held on to things based on the “what if's”. What if I need this later? What if this turns up on the Antique Road Show? Oh yeah but the Word clearly says how God shall supply all my needs. When the children of Israel were in the wilderness God didn't miss a beat. He gave them everything they needed including daily fresh manna. So there was never a need for them to fear. Because of the way God had been blessing me, I wanted to give. I released everything in joy with a prayer and a blessing that those things would find their way into the hands of the people they were intended for. I had a few take backs mostly books but that was about it. I had a lot of fun as I was giving to my neighbor. When I called to schedule the last donation pick up, I had given away so much stuff the Scheduler said to me, “you know how this goes...you're a pro now!” LOL. My home feels so much lighter. I'm luvin' it![/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]I understand where you're coming from but your identity is not your things. Your identity is in Christ and He calls you part of the Beloved. You are His and He loves you with an everlasting love. Even when we miss the mark, God still loves us and the Holy Spirit is right there to help us. Maybe God's not asking you to do a “great giveaway”. I'm not saying you're not a giving person but maybe He's just stirring you to give something of your choosing to Him. At this time the something doesn't have to be material. It can be your fear, having a cup of tea with Him, calling to let someone know you appreciate them, A smile, etc. Also maybe God is wanting to give you a fuller revelation of who He is. That way when you do choose to release those things, you can freely give with joy, peace, laughter and not fear. [/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]Now in terms of purpose, you have to stop letting slewfoot whisper in your ear. Oh I know it's him talking to you because that's his MO. To diminish you and tear you down. As usual he's a liar. Your purpose as a godly wife and mother is a beautiful one. What you have is precious. If you want to do something more, I don't believe that's wrong but don't let the enemy deceive you into thinking you have nothing/are nothing and don't you agree with him. Instead agree with the Word. Remember 2Corinthians 10:4 and Psalm 139 or whatever Scriptures God gives you.[/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]How is your support? Do you have people that you can share your heart with? People that can pray with you and for you?[/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]God is faithful. If He's asking you to do something, He will help you. You're not alone. It's okay...breathe sister.[/FONT]

​

 

[KnowHisJoy77]

I live in the country, there are no support groups around here. Which is why I use the internet.

No, its not an addiction... Its the upswing of bipolar. When I'm manic for longer periods of time, I get obsessed with new things.

For example, at one time it was fish. And I had 2 55gallon, 1 90gallon, and multiple 10 and 20 gallon tanks running at the same time. I would obsess over them for months throughout my manic upswing. Then, on the downswing I would lose interest and sell the fish and store the tanks and supplies. So far I've been able to use where we are living as an excuse as to why I can't set them up again, but want to keep them in case we get another place I can. And honestly I would love to run a couple, but I just haven't been able to, and won't be able to until we get a new place to live. In the mean time they sit in storage.

Oh okay..I get it now! Thanks for explaining.

Do you feel isolated living over there in the country? When you mentioned another place to live are you moving to another town? How are you going to find new things to interest you? How the interest for a new happens in your mind? It just happens or you start reading or researching and it becomes interesting for you?

I think fish tanking is nice and having calm effects to me to look at it..

 

[riona]

Oh okay..I get it now! Thanks for explaining.

Do you feel isolated living over there in the country? When you mentioned another place to live are you moving to another town? How are you going to find new things to interest you? How the interest for a new happens in your mind? It just happens or you start reading or researching and it becomes interesting for you?

I think fish tanking is nice and having calm effects to me to look at it..

Yes, I do sometimes feel isolated. However the anxiety of driving and being in the city is far greater, so I don't mind the isolation.

I do not know where we are moving to yet. God has not revealed. We just want to buy a place.

I don't really think about new things to interest me. I have plenty of interests now and things to do. I suppose when I get an idea I decide to try it.

 

[angelkiss]

I struggled with my share of manic episodes for years and I am all too familiar with the impulses. One of the things that I really had to work on was what I "thought" defined me.
Deep down, a person's heart is a totally different aspect than the illness they have. Therefore, you are of more value than all the stuff you can keep in a storage unit. When you really get to thinking about it, that stuff is really just the "result" of your mania. It's not who you are. I fought with this reality myself. I once thought that the illness and all the baggage that comes with it is who I am. Really, that's not who I am either. So I summed it all up with....I am a person, who has an illness that sometimes causes me to make impulsive decisions. I then took that and figured out a way to turn the tables on the illness and control it. Not one of the easiest challenges in my life, but I finally got it.
In the case of letting go....it works the same way. That's not to say there won't be tears or a bit of anger involved. Some people can toss stuff and not give it a second thought, for others, it's a lot harder. The main question is, and this is where the tears and anger come in at, what is "really" causing you to hold on to it all. If it's just stuff that ended as a result of impulses, there should be no ties except for the fact that it's yours. If that's the case, setting a limit of 1 or 2 and selling the rest would be a good start in controlling the aftermath of impulsive buying. If not everything sells, you can donate to needy families and that way you are not tempted to continue holding on. It may seem like a loss considering you are getting rid of your stuff, however, you can turn it into gain. The money made from the stuff could go toward a debt payment, vacation or anything the whole family can enjoy. If there is nothing you feel that would be beneficial, you could donate it to charity. Either way, it's a win-win in the end.
Worldly possessions are nothing compared to the values and morals you have in your heart, which is what really defines you. If you have that realization and you are still holding on for dear life, there could be an issue you are not seeing on the surface. It could be anything from childhood or adulthood that you have been through that you may have blocked or just didn't realize that it bothered you more than you thought. That is where digging a lot deeper can stir emotions once again. However, once you can get all that to the surface and face them, you can conquer them and once conquered, you will find yourself stronger and are more prepared for another battle that may come your way.
Sorry it was so long-winded. Just wanted to share my thoughts on what has worked for me. I know everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another, but I hope you have found something helpful.
Blessings,

 

[parsley]

The thread is old -- did you end up moving?

Without these things that show who I am, I am nobody. I am a wife and mom, and that is it. I have nothing giving me any other purpose.
I have struggled with that for years. Surely there is more to me than my husband and children's caregiver. ?

You said it. Everyone starts out with aspirations to do great things, and ends up doing life. It is a lot less glamorous than it appears when we're making the choices. But it's okay -- in the end, we're not really competing with people for a position in God's heart. He does not look back on our lives and say, "Why didn't you become president?" It's okay.

You made choices that you believed in, or that were the wisest solutions at the time. The most loving and generous, sacrificial.

You might not have helped a company build itself into an empire... but then, would that empire have served humanity? Maybe not.

I decided to downsize last year, and rented some store space at antique/resale stores. I ended up spending a lot of time marking prices, organizing objects, checking for stolen goods.... and realized I was spending more than I was making.

Then God asked me to give away a block of possessions, and I resisted. He reminded me of tax deductions (if you itemize in the US) -- and I realized I would "make" more in the deduction than I was making by trying to sell.

The objects are still worth something. But if you are not using them, they don't really exist with the value perceived. They become demands for storage and organization. Triggers for spouses' frustrations. Burdens that prevent you from moving. And if you can't resell them for their initial price, then they don't really hold the same value they appear to.

They also represent time, which is always precious. It is work to sort and organize, and make decisions -- when you might prefer to do something more worthwhile.

 

[sahjimira]

Personally I would give it away. It's just sitting there when someone else could use it and make them happy too. I got into giving
stuff away awhile ago and guess what? It made me feel good, like I had a new life! Hard to explain but felt llighter, less burdened and happy when I thought of the joy it gave to others who couldn't possibly afford something so wonderful in their wildest dreams. Changed my life like I lifted anchor and sailed a peaceful sea!