I'm struggeling with a Schizophrenic Delusional Disorder-type of paranoia i guess

[dandelionnn]

-I keep thinking that someone invisible is watching me. Not a ghost. But an actual person, even people I know, like a crush. I try to tell myself that this isn't possible and that there isn't such "magical" power to make yourself unseen.
I just need someone else to tell me it can't be so I can believe it and finally go about my life.I can't even pray out of embarrassment. Sometimes it's not as bad so I do get the chance to pray as much as I can about it. Right now I guess the paranoia decreased ever since I started praying about it...but I still sometimes think the guy I really like hacked my computer and is watching me every click.

-I'm also very insecure. I look bad in jeans because I'm so skinny, so they look really loose. I wish I had confidence and had enough money for wardrobe and I just don't. I'm really self-conscious in what I'm wearing right now. I mean I can be really pretty, others think so too...but the confidence just isn't there and I'm pretty sure it's because of what I wear.

-I am incredibly shy. I really like this boy and he's this popular social-butterfly. He's a good guy. But my shyness probably ruined any further contact with him. I DON'T blame him, my first-impression really sucked. I think I have really severe Social Phobia. I can't make friends and am lonely most of the time. I really want to stand up for myself, and defend others. It's just that I cannot; worth anything start a conversation with anyone. I fear that I'll make myself look like an idiot if I try to talk and end up saying something that wont make any sense. Or worse, is that I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I see these other people and they say the stupidest things sometimes and they just don't seem to care. Or some people that just know what to say all the time. I just nod or reply, but not give any feedback on anything. Of course I get embarrassed because of how awkward everything gets anyway. I don't go out and experience. Yeah that's pretty bad mental-health.
I refuse to go anyplace social with my mother or my family because they embarrass me everywhere we go (restaurants, bad memories:/). unless it's a restaurant ONLY with my mom, or this Church (which I'm pretty sure none of the people I know will find me there, that is why I only go there).
I'm really no fun at all. And I don't know what to do with all of these problems but to pray. I can't get therapy because it takes SO long for me to make an appointment, and we always miss them if we do.
By biggest wish of all is to later become amazing friends with this boy I kinda really like. I really want to become close with him but I don't know how to because of the way I am. :/
i really want him to like and I know that wouldn't be impossible because all I need is a personality, which I lack.

I guess I'm posting this for your prayers and advise if you have any...
thank you<3

 

[gloryseven]

Welcome newbie, Dandelionnn,

wow. I really feel for you and your mental health issues.
I know how difficult it was for me growing up and being
socially awkward as well.

Receiving Jesus as Savior in my life was a huge turn in my life.
I am almost 50yrs old now, and I received Christ at age 19.
It has been a very gradual process of maturing in Him and His love
over these 30 years. I believe that reading my Bible thoroughly
and learning about God and who He is, helped me the most.

Stress is a killer. Learning to love God and Trust God is key to a balanced and happy life. Do this by attejding mass and loving and worshipping God and Jesus, reading the Word of God, the LIving Word, Your Holy Bible often and regularly. Pray and seek God. Pray for yourself and others.

Remember how powerful your words are. Spoken words are creative and powerful.
Charles Capps is a Christian teacher online who speaks about the power of our words. We have to relearn how to speak and produce blessings in our lives. Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door shall be opened.

www.charlescapps.org

Remember, Jesus is Risen and He loves and cares for you. He hears when you cry and will send angels to comfort you, if only you ask.

God is good, all the time.

God be with you today and forever.

Amen.

 

[jesuslovesme54]

Praying for you sister. May the Lord guide you and heal you. Hope you get to feeling better. God bless

 

[hypostatic]

Praying for you! PM me if you'd like to talk!

 

[Alive4Evermore]

 

[chosenpath]

Dandelionn,

This could be the beginning of an extraordinary journey. A transformation in pleasing God. It doesn't matter what you look like or if you are shy. First find a bible study that can teach you appropriately what pleases God. You will begin to experience a change not one of self-confidence, but one of assurance of God.

Isaiah 32:17
The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.

Colossians 2:2-3
that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge

Once you uncover this treasure you will know what to do next.

Hint
Exodus 19:5
Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth [is] Mine.

 

[Joliefemm]

Praying that the Lord heal you.

 

[Linus]

Praying for comfort and strength as well as guidance in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You Lord!

 

[Sadiegrl]

praying for you hun we love you!

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Your intentions will be in my prayers.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen

The Divine Mercy Message & Prayer

[FONT=bookman old style, new york, times, serif]God bless you &#8224;
Gail [/FONT]

 

[Stephanie7]

Father God be merciful and help this one in all that she is needing, In Jesus Name, Amen

 

[gloryseven]

Jesus, touch this young womans life. Transform her heart and mind. May Your Holy Word become life and wisdom to her.

God, meet her where she is.
Protect her with Your precious Blood.
Cover her with mercy and pardon all her sins.
Jesus, bring Your healing love and mercy into her life. Amen. Amen.

 

[Nilla]

Mod Hat On


This thread has been moved from
Prayer Requests to Schizophrenia​

Mod Hat Off​

 

[ERice2nd]

-I keep thinking that someone invisible is watching me. Not a ghost. But an actual person, even people I know, like a crush. I try to tell myself that this isn't possible and that there isn't such "magical" power to make yourself unseen.
I just need someone else to tell me it can't be so I can believe it and finally go about my life.I can't even pray out of embarrassment. Sometimes it's not as bad so I do get the chance to pray as much as I can about it. Right now I guess the paranoia decreased ever since I started praying about it...but I still sometimes think the guy I really like hacked my computer and is watching me every click.

-I'm also very insecure. I look bad in jeans because I'm so skinny, so they look really loose. I wish I had confidence and had enough money for wardrobe and I just don't. I'm really self-conscious in what I'm wearing right now. I mean I can be really pretty, others think so too...but the confidence just isn't there and I'm pretty sure it's because of what I wear.

-I am incredibly shy. I really like this boy and he's this popular social-butterfly. He's a good guy. But my shyness probably ruined any further contact with him. I DON'T blame him, my first-impression really sucked. I think I have really severe Social Phobia. I can't make friends and am lonely most of the time. I really want to stand up for myself, and defend others. It's just that I cannot; worth anything start a conversation with anyone. I fear that I'll make myself look like an idiot if I try to talk and end up saying something that wont make any sense. Or worse, is that I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I see these other people and they say the stupidest things sometimes and they just don't seem to care. Or some people that just know what to say all the time. I just nod or reply, but not give any feedback on anything. Of course I get embarrassed because of how awkward everything gets anyway. I don't go out and experience. Yeah that's pretty bad mental-health.
I refuse to go anyplace social with my mother or my family because they embarrass me everywhere we go (restaurants, bad memories:/). unless it's a restaurant ONLY with my mom, or this Church (which I'm pretty sure none of the people I know will find me there, that is why I only go there).
I'm really no fun at all. And I don't know what to do with all of these problems but to pray. I can't get therapy because it takes SO long for me to make an appointment, and we always miss them if we do.
By biggest wish of all is to later become amazing friends with this boy I kinda really like. I really want to become close with him but I don't know how to because of the way I am. :/
i really want him to like and I know that wouldn't be impossible because all I need is a personality, which I lack.

I guess I'm posting this for your prayers and advise if you have any...
thank you<3

I dont know why this was moved here except for that first paragraph as it seems the tone of this thread it should have stayed where it was :O. oh well, I guess the mods know what they are doing .

but to address that first paragraph, it definitely sounds like a paranoid delusion. Are you getting enough sleep? sometime tiredness can play tricks on our minds. try to exhaulst the more practical reasons you would be feeling this way then if it continues maybe see a psychiatrist about it .

as for the rest of your post, I can relate. when I was in high school I liked this one girl so much that it had me in tears :O. I would long for her so much that I could barely stand it. but I was too shy to talk to her, even when she talked to me :O. I was very extremely shy, still am to a degree. the trick is to calm down and be patient with yourself, self confidence helps too but only you can change that, nothing I or anyone else says will make you feel better about yourself.

Know that here also people will pray for you, we support each other pretty good here in this forum and we certainly dont judge people, as those of us who have a social phobia are often afraid of.