Hi guys, me again. No I'm not suicidal, I'm just turning into a misanthrope, aka, I'm sick of humanity. I don't know why God saves us, let alone made us in the first place. We're so rotten, even the best of us, if there is such a thing. Even among so called Christians, there is always hatred and judgment. If you don't agree with my church, you're bad, an enemy of God, or a Muslim, or gay, or republican or Democrat. You really think in the grand scheme of things, this stuff really matters to God, when ALL OF US deserve damnation? Doesn't matter if you're Hittler or Moses, we're all sinners who don't deserve forgiveness, which is something so few "Christians" get.
What ever happened to love you're enemies or judge not lest ye be judged? Why does even the most enlightened societies glorify violence to the point where it is indoctrinated as entertainment? Fighting is "cool", war is "glorious", Zorro smiles as he impales people to rousing music, and so on. Or we're all for freedom of expression, but if you say something we don't like, they should shut up. And again, this is in so called "civilized" societies. And ofcourse then there's sex. Even among Christians, how many actually even try to obey God and wait til marriage? How many of us keep from looking at woman like pieces of meat? Certainly not me. I wish God had not created sex. I mean, how many problems would not exist without it? Is it really worth or of the evil that has arisen from it, like rape and objectification, STD's, and unwanted pregnancy and such? Even in my so called Christian family, almost everyone has had sex before marriage, even my not yet 18 year old niece is, as my mom told me, is going to. My mom, who is the strongest Christian(does that word even have any meaning anymore?) I know, doesn't really take that teaching seriously, like it's a command that God doesn't really take seriously. God we're so rotten. How can God stand us? How am I supposed to live here when humanity, including myself, disgusts me?
I couldnt agree more. Ive been undergoing treatment for "depression" for a year now but im not depressed. I want to die, yes...but not because im sad..but because Im tired of sinning and tired of disappointing God no matter how hard I try. I pray for death to come to me every single night...and still nothing. If God has a plan he better make it good.
May I make an observation? Circa02, I looked at your most recent posts. The thread headings suggest topics such as Pentagon employees purchasing pornography, fish and bird kills in Arkansas, republicans, Israel keeping the Gaza on the brink of economic collapse, beliefs about Islam, 9/11, American troops in Iraq, detention of terrorism suspects, airport security flaws, mosque bombings in Iran...
To have a social and political conscience can be fine, but I think that in our current age of information and technology we can get an instant snapshot of most of the problems and evil in the world in about 1 minute flat. And I do not believe that mankind was ever designed to do so. Jesus actually bore all of that upon the cross.
It is not difficult to see that the world is in turmoil. Non-christians do it all the time. Listen to typical workplace conversations over morning tea. Check out the comments sections accompanying news items. People ripping their hair out and wringing their hands. "This is the solution!" "No, this is!"
But Jesus said to His children...
Mat 11:29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30For my yokeiseasy, and my burden is light.
And
Mar 13:7And when ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled: forsuch thingsmust needs be; but the endshallnotbeyet.
I can also become disillusioned and restless, wondering what my purpose is. But I am increasingly finding peace in
living life today.
It is the weekend, mid-summer here and I will soon wander for a walk along the foreshore with my camera. I do that most days, and it is interesting that when my own life is right in terms of prayer time, meditation, study of scripture and everything that is part of our Christian life, people will react differently to me when I am out on that walk. Just the other evening I could not help noticing that every single person walking towards me gazed at me and broke into a really warm smile. People are drawn to the Holy Spirit, I am convinced of it. For some reason my rather muscular and tatooed appearance takes on a different form.
It is amazing how many opportunities we have every day to engage in dialog and by way of simple human connection we put something into another life. It is not a big all-encompassing solution, but it is a small contribution just for today. And in a world that is increasingly devoid of relationship, people are inwardly screaming for it. We can be curious about what people are doing around us, engage them at the point of their own interests. It is fulfilling to do so!
We are not of this world, but must live in it. To me, a lot of the question of what our purpose is is summed up in
Mat 5:13Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
Mat 5:14Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
Mat 5:15Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Mat 5:16Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Just my own thoughts as I struggle and overcome in my own ways.
God bless you
