- Oct 3, 2018
- 1
- 3
- 37
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
I recently discovered that my wife had been having an affair for some time. I discovered this through my own means. She didn't come to me and admit it. We've been married for 9 years and have an 8 year old daughter.
I'm completely destroyed. It's been days since I found out and I can barely function. Once I confronted her with everything, she reluctantly gave up some information about what she had been doing behind my back. After much arguing, she said that she is done with it and wants the marriage to work. I want the marriage to work as well. I care very deeply for my wife and can't see life going on without her. I want to begin the process of seeing whether we can work it out, but the problem is, she has the ability to be completely cold and shutdown about it. I will find myself sobbing to her and it's like she can't find it in her to go into detail about how she's feeling. She has some kind of mental block about the subject.
I've been watching marriage counseling videos and reading forums and everything that I feel I can do. I have scheduled a marriage counseling session that she agreed to attend, but the days up until then seem like an eternity. In some of the material that I have read, one of the recommendations for the betrayer is to become an open book. To not have any secrets or unknown password to email, Facebook, etc. She is reluctant to giving these up because she thinks that it is a malicious attempt for me to control her life or use the access to make posts. This makes everything so much worse. She says she's sorry and remorseful, but they are just words. The emotions arenta coming through. The possibility of secrets still being there kills me.
I can barely function at my job. I can't do anything at home but pace and think about it. Everytime I try to talk with her about I, she gets defensive that I insist she becomes transparent at this point. All the trust is broken. She's lied to me while looking me in the eyes so many times, I don't know what to believe. I feel that I need immediate help, but who do I talk to? It's hard to believe that an hour of counseling here or there is going to be enough for me to get everything out. What should I do? I can't picture my life without her, but I've never experienced this type of pain.
I'm completely destroyed. It's been days since I found out and I can barely function. Once I confronted her with everything, she reluctantly gave up some information about what she had been doing behind my back. After much arguing, she said that she is done with it and wants the marriage to work. I want the marriage to work as well. I care very deeply for my wife and can't see life going on without her. I want to begin the process of seeing whether we can work it out, but the problem is, she has the ability to be completely cold and shutdown about it. I will find myself sobbing to her and it's like she can't find it in her to go into detail about how she's feeling. She has some kind of mental block about the subject.
I've been watching marriage counseling videos and reading forums and everything that I feel I can do. I have scheduled a marriage counseling session that she agreed to attend, but the days up until then seem like an eternity. In some of the material that I have read, one of the recommendations for the betrayer is to become an open book. To not have any secrets or unknown password to email, Facebook, etc. She is reluctant to giving these up because she thinks that it is a malicious attempt for me to control her life or use the access to make posts. This makes everything so much worse. She says she's sorry and remorseful, but they are just words. The emotions arenta coming through. The possibility of secrets still being there kills me.
I can barely function at my job. I can't do anything at home but pace and think about it. Everytime I try to talk with her about I, she gets defensive that I insist she becomes transparent at this point. All the trust is broken. She's lied to me while looking me in the eyes so many times, I don't know what to believe. I feel that I need immediate help, but who do I talk to? It's hard to believe that an hour of counseling here or there is going to be enough for me to get everything out. What should I do? I can't picture my life without her, but I've never experienced this type of pain.