i'm so confused, do i do what should be the right thing to do or do i do what i really want at the moment? sometimes i just really feel like i would be so much better off without her around. well actually alot of the time. infact i can't remember the last time i actually thought that i really miss her and want to see her right nowi am away at school 3 days a week at a friends house and she is away for another 3 at school.the first time i came home from school on a wednesday night i wasn't in a real hurry to see her, but then when i saw her i was really happy. but now it's not so much that i don't want to see her, it just feels like its become more of a "i have to see her now" it's almost like i don't have a choice, and i know that she loves me and i know she wants to be with me forever, but is that what i really want? does she even really want that. sometimes i feel like i'm lying when i say that i love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but then i find that when i'm in a fight with her then i can't stop my self from trying to make it work out. i feel like a fraud when i do that and i feel like that while i'm actually doing it but i keep doing it. what's wrong with me? right now i'm just not happy with my self i think the best thing for me right now would be to get some space and have a think about everything. especially i need to thikn about God and how i am treating him, i say i'm a christian yet i do these things that evens fools me sometimes. am i really a christian? i want to be, and i like to think that i am struggling to be a better christian, but am i really or is that just an excuse to keep myself in my own good books. i really need to make myself take a stand for what i believe in and who i believe in and how i should be doing things. do i really need the space or am i just being a winger? i don't want to sound likje i'm just rambling and complaing when i really have nothing to winge about, but what is going on in my head, i feeel as if my head and me are two different things and that each one is trying to pull me in a different direction thant the other. i know that what ever relationship i'm in there will be fighting and there will be troubled times, but ther really does seem to be an awful lot of fighting going on. every time we see each other we fight about something doesn't matter how small we fight and thats that. it's like a regular thing, who's in the right me or her are we both right are we both wrong? i just want some answers, Lord please help me i really don't know what to do, please lord just take my body and my mouth and make me into the person that you planned for me to be, i know that you have perfect tiiming lord but please help me sort this out i really need to know what's going on. please lord.
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i'm so confused
- Thread starter grumish
- Start date
Hi grumish ,
Having and being a mate , as a husband , and possibly a father ; is not an easy role to fulfill .
If you're having much difficulty " getting along " with your girlfriend now , while in a somewhat casual relationship ; it would be wise to move back rather than forward .
Seek to have your own relationship with Christ become consistently harmonious ; then you may , if you choose , (And God allows ) , begin a wholesome relationship with another .
As long as your Christianity is unstable and uncertain , you won't have what it takes to fulfill the role of husband and/or father .
It's better to be alone , then tied to someone you're at odds with .
Don't let infatuation with the opposite gender , blind you to the realities which are easily deduced by common sense .
When you feel stong attraction to another , " do the math " , take into account , all that it is going to take to make for a healthy , happy home life .
This should have a sobering effect .
Many people , especially young folks , " fall in love " ; this is not true love for the other person ; it is love for the feeling of being loved . Such love is easily diminished by difficulties or disappointment ; and often turns quickly to resentment and even hate . For it is dependent upon the other person living up to our fantasy , of being supremely loved by them . Which creates conflict almost immediately , for few if any can live up to our imagined utopia , and it is as if we're asking Jesus to take a back seat .
Politely , confess to this girl that you need to work on your relationship with Jesus , before you can capably fill the role of being a steady boyfriend to her .
Staying friends , may be possible , she may even want to seek to have her life in Christ , reformed and revived , as well . But at least until the Lord's will is clearly fitting into it's rightful place in your life , avoid taking on the role of potential mate .
This will help you to avoid much grief and regret ; if you have any doubt , examine the lives of those who rushed into intimacy unadvisedly ; and you will see that by far , their lives were made miserable rather than the imagined bliss .
Praying you are led by God's Spirit ,
In Jesus Name .
Amen .
wm
Having and being a mate , as a husband , and possibly a father ; is not an easy role to fulfill .
If you're having much difficulty " getting along " with your girlfriend now , while in a somewhat casual relationship ; it would be wise to move back rather than forward .
Seek to have your own relationship with Christ become consistently harmonious ; then you may , if you choose , (And God allows ) , begin a wholesome relationship with another .
As long as your Christianity is unstable and uncertain , you won't have what it takes to fulfill the role of husband and/or father .
It's better to be alone , then tied to someone you're at odds with .
Don't let infatuation with the opposite gender , blind you to the realities which are easily deduced by common sense .
When you feel stong attraction to another , " do the math " , take into account , all that it is going to take to make for a healthy , happy home life .
This should have a sobering effect .
Many people , especially young folks , " fall in love " ; this is not true love for the other person ; it is love for the feeling of being loved . Such love is easily diminished by difficulties or disappointment ; and often turns quickly to resentment and even hate . For it is dependent upon the other person living up to our fantasy , of being supremely loved by them . Which creates conflict almost immediately , for few if any can live up to our imagined utopia , and it is as if we're asking Jesus to take a back seat .
Politely , confess to this girl that you need to work on your relationship with Jesus , before you can capably fill the role of being a steady boyfriend to her .
Staying friends , may be possible , she may even want to seek to have her life in Christ , reformed and revived , as well . But at least until the Lord's will is clearly fitting into it's rightful place in your life , avoid taking on the role of potential mate .
This will help you to avoid much grief and regret ; if you have any doubt , examine the lives of those who rushed into intimacy unadvisedly ; and you will see that by far , their lives were made miserable rather than the imagined bliss .
Praying you are led by God's Spirit ,
In Jesus Name .
Amen .
wm
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Olga
Princess
Look at Paul:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
25 Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
(Ro.7:15-25; 8:1-2)
I passed this test in my own life. It was exactly your case
There is something I understood perfectly well: true love never brings fear or doubts:
1) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
(1Jn.4:18)
2) But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
(Ro.14:23)
I asked God and He gave me some signs that that guy wasn't my other half. Since then I have no pains of the kind (for some years now) as we are just good friends. And one more thing (!) pity isn't love they are mutually exclusive.
God bless and give you wisdom.
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
25 Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
(Ro.7:15-25; 8:1-2)
I passed this test in my own life. It was exactly your case
There is something I understood perfectly well: true love never brings fear or doubts:1) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
(1Jn.4:18)
2) But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
(Ro.14:23)
I asked God and He gave me some signs that that guy wasn't my other half. Since then I have no pains of the kind (for some years now) as we are just good friends. And one more thing (!) pity
isn't love they are mutually exclusive.God bless and give you wisdom.
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TheMainException
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- Jun 13, 2004
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I see that you are quite honest and humble...that is awesome, just to start...everytime you start fighting, stop yourself and sit down and calm down. Tell her that you don't want to fight and that you just want to talk things out and make them work...that will awe her, man...but also...if all you do is fight all the time, maybe you shouldn't be with her...if all you want is her, and can't live without her, look at your motives...is it lust or love? Figure that out and then move on from there.
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