I'm scared...

[Lindzhigh]

This is my first baby, and I am due Jan. 26th. My situation is complicated, I take blood thinners: which long story short means more than likely I will not be able to use an epidural. I am a wus when it comes to pain, so I know this will be hard on me. I felt a little better because I knew I could use regular pain medication, but recently had a friend who had here baby without an epidural and only used pain medication. She was so out of it by the time she delivered she did not breast feed immediatley. By the time she woke up her little girl had been bottle fed formula and now she will not take her mothers breast. This was not such a big deal for my friend but it is for me. I want to breastfeed, I want to be alert when my baby is born, but I am really scared about the pain. I need encouragement and stories from ladies who have "been there done that". I get terrible nervous butterflies in my stomach when I think about it, and there are times when I can't sleep I am so freaked out... Please help, I don't think this is normal.

 

[jgonz]

First of all, you CAN do natural birth. Your body was Made to do this, and it IS do-able!

I would Highly suggest that you start reading everything you can get your hands on concerning natural birth, homebirth, unassisted birth, and even water birth. The more you read the more you "get it" that if all those women can birth, so can you. You're educating yourself and wiping away fear and mainstream medical thought that pregnancy and birth are diseases. They're NOT. Pregnancy and birth are Natural, normal womanly experiences. Pain is something that can be Managed, and does Not have to control you.

Also, keep in mind that childbirth is Not like having a tooth ache, migraine headache, or a broken bone. Labor contractions come in Waves, you just keep surfing those waves. Slow deep breathing helped me the most (not all those hee haa things).

Accupressure combs were very helpful with one of my births. My water broke first (which is odd for me), labor was extremely intense, and it was hard to stay on top of the contractions. However, I tried the Accupressure combs for the first time with that labor and they really did take the edge off. (I'll try to find a link to the combs... Here is an article about using accupressure during labor: http://acupuncture.rhizome.net.nz/acupressure/faq.aspx)

I had an epidural for my first and Hated it. The rest of my kids I had naturally and I felt Very empowered and in control.

A great book to have (and study) is Susan McCutcheon's Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Ina May's Guide To Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin, is also excellent.

Hiring a doula will help Immensely. Statistics show that even just having a doula in the Room will lower the need for an epidural. She will help Both you and your DH. You can start here: www.dona.org

Getting the baby into an excellent position for birth will also help. This site is great: www.spinningbabies.com

 

[Leanna]

Hello! You are right, the other kinds of pain relief are narcotics and you feel dizzy and out of it. You still have time to prepare yourself for a natural birth! I was going to recommend the same two books that jgonz suggested, Ina May's and Natural Childbirth The Bradley Way.... read them!!!

 

[BananaCake]

I agree with the above suggestions. I also want to second how important it is that your baby is presenting correctly. My baby was facing the wrong way, so I had back labor with no break between my waves (sorry to disagree, jgonz!). It was dreadful.

 

[jgonz]

BananaCake, I completely agree with you. If the baby is in an odd position, it will Definately make labor harder (that's why I suggested she check out www.spinningbabies.com ).

I've had 3 births where the baby was sunny-side up. Back labor each time. Yuck. The last time was my homebirth, and being in the Water was Heavenly!!! Water is truly "nature's epidural".

 

[ksdedee74]

I have had 2 natural, and one with medications. The one thing I found out with the no meds births was to stay calm and talk myself through, it wasn't as scary when I made myself relax. Also it helps to tackle each contraction one at a time. Such as all I have to do is get through this one, and then feel good about having completed it, when the next one comes "I did it last time I only have to get through this one" don't overwelm yourself into thinking about ones that aren't there yet.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

read as much as you can, pray as much as you can too! Think positively! It can be done! I did it twice without an epidural - one of those was induced/stuck in a bed. But talk to your doctor about ALL your options.

 

[teishpriest]

I've had three unmedicated homebirths. Labor IS hard, and it does hurt, but it is doable. My mom went through 72 hrs. of hard labor with me and my sister, so I figured that if she could do it, than I could too! Relax, deep breaths, and find YOUR most comfortable position. For, me it was being upright, I could not lie down at all! Find what works for you, and remember that we've been doing this for centuries without epidurals or drugs! Good luck!

 

[sparassidae]

I agree with everyone else.

Yes you can do it!

Just focus on one contraction at a time, find whatever works for you. For me I always like to walk between contractions, then rock, sway, swivel hips during contractions. If one position doesn't feel great, try another one.

And remember- some women have 24 hr labours, some have 3hr labours. You don't know until you get there which will be you.

 

[Lindzhigh]

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I have never found myself in a situation when I was not in control! It is hard because I just don't know what will happen. I have made myself a list of questions to ask the doctor at my next visit. I want to get a plan together, and hopefully that will make me feel better. I am just so nervous because there are so many things that could go wrong or change. I wish I could just put these feelings aside and get excited about my baby!

 

[ksdedee74]

Just rememeber you are still in control of you. Alot of successful laboring is in a person's head. Decide now months early that you can do it, and you are going to do the best you can. Decide you will be prepared and calm. And tell yourself that often. Educate yourself. The women on here are very knowledgeable and can help with some of those personal questions that doctors don't really understand sometimes. Tell yourself you are smart, educated woman who can be successful in anything including childbirth. Understand that things happen but when they do you are prepared and God is in control. Basically build your own confidence up. It kind of like anything else in life if you don't go into expecting to do your best you won't does that make sense? I can tell from your writing already you want to be realist and be successful just keep at it, and when you have one of those days where you doubt jump online and let us help you out.

 

[Lindzhigh]

Just rememeber you are still in control of you. Alot of successful laboring is in a person's head. Decide now months early that you can do it, and you are going to do the best you can. Decide you will be prepared and calm. And tell yourself that often. Educate yourself. The women on here are very knowledgeable and can help with some of those personal questions that doctors don't really understand sometimes. Tell yourself you are smart, educated woman who can be successful in anything including childbirth. Understand that things happen but when they do you are prepared and God is in control. Basically build your own confidence up. It kind of like anything else in life if you don't go into expecting to do your best you won't does that make sense? I can tell from your writing already you want to be realist and be successful just keep at it, and when you have one of those days where you doubt jump online and let us help you out.

Thanks, I feel like Thomas the Train... I think I can, I think I can. I am usually a very positive "get out there and do it" kind of person... but my confidence took a dive when suddenly there was a baby involved.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Women have been giving birth for a long time without medication, you can do it Our bodies were made to do this, with God's grace you will get through it and after you see that tiny little life, you will forget about any pain.

 

[Leanna]

Thanks, I feel like Thomas the Train... I think I can, I think I can. I am usually a very positive "get out there and do it" kind of person... but my confidence took a dive when suddenly there was a baby involved.

That's not Thomas the Train, that's The Little Engine That Could which predates Thomas by 50 years .....

-- bit of a literature fanatic

 

[Lindzhigh]

That's not Thomas the Train, that's The Little Engine That Could which predates Thomas by 50 years .....

-- bit of a literature fanatic

Ha ha ha! Should have known that, I guess I need to read up on my childrens stories before my little guy gets here....

 

[Lindzhigh]

I feel a lot better today. I talked to my doctor and he was able to answer all of my questions and he sounded really positive about everything. I really appriciate everyones encouragement.

 

[annaapple]

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I have never found myself in a situation when I was not in control! It is hard because I just don't know what will happen. I have made myself a list of questions to ask the doctor at my next visit. I want to get a plan together, and hopefully that will make me feel better. I am just so nervous because there are so many things that could go wrong or change. I wish I could just put these feelings aside and get excited about my baby!

It is probably a good thing we are not in control - our bodies know better than we do what needs to happen, try to trust your body. Everyone I know says prayer helps. I second the doula thing too, I know it would have helped me.

And one final thought from someone who hasn't yet labored successfully through to birth - don't beat yourself up if you do end up with a cesarian. You haven't 'failed' (although it can feel that way), you've survived, where in previous centuries both you and the baby might have died.

 

[Linnis]

You can prepare for a natural birth.

I took a shot of pain medication but asked for half a shot, enough to make me relax but not too much to be out of my head.

An epidural severely limits your choices and your control because then you are stuck in bed, with an IV and monitors. Being trapped in the bed(I was for other reasons) made me feel even less in control.

 

[TexasSky]

My first child was 100% natural.
The breathing they teach DOES help.

Also, IF you end up taking narcotics, you CAN still breastfeed. Just because a baby was given a bottle a few times does NOT mean the baby cannot adjust to breastfeeding.

You may have to pump your breasts a few times to get the mlk to come in, but the fact is, your milk doesn't come in the minute you give birth anyway.

 

[jgonz]

Also, IF you end up taking narcotics, you CAN still breastfeed. Just because a baby was given a bottle a few times does NOT mean the baby cannot adjust to breastfeeding.

You may have to pump your breasts a few times to get the mlk to come in, but the fact is, your milk doesn't come in the minute you give birth anyway.

That's true, the baby can still nurse right away even if you've had some sort of pain medication. However there Is a higher risk that the baby will be too sleepy to nurse right away, and then you'd miss that initial bonding time (which isn't the end of the world, but it's still the best scenario).

Your milk is going to come in no matter How you give birth. Pumping is Not necessary.

A mom who gives birth vaginally will have her milk come in a little faster (1-3 days) than a c-section mom (3- 7 days). Colostrum (early milk~ very yellow & thick) is ALL the baby needs while you're waiting for your milk to come in. Formula is NOT necessary. Colostrum is Extremely high in fat & calories, and is Very filling... so a few drops go a Long way. Your newborn's tummy is about the size of a walnut.... so it's not going to take much.

I've heard some moms say that they gave their baby formula in the hospital (or the nurses did) because the baby was crying a lot and was "obviously" hungry. My answer to that is that a newborn has been taken care of 100% for 9 months in his/her mother's womb. Being birthed can be rather traumatic for some babies, and they don't Like the cold air, being away from mom, etc. Some babies cry more because they NEED their mothers to hold them skin to skin and nurse constantly because they need that comfort. The more you nurse after birth (and the first couple of days) the faster your milk will come in and the more calm your baby will be.

HTH~