I'm not okay - Why?

[randomuzer]

I've been a Christian since I was young, but lately, I'm struggling deeply with my mental health. I'm in a really dark place. I can’t stop thinking about ending everything. About a week ago, I walked away from God because I’m overwhelmed with questions — questions about why he would allow us to experience pain so intense it could drive someone to this point. How could a loving God allow this? My life has always felt difficult, but this is the worst it’s ever been… and I just can’t seem to escape it. Can someone help me, please?

 

[PloverWing]

Do you have a counselor or therapist or trusted friend you can talk to? Address the pain first, and the theological abstractions can follow later. I'm limited in how much I can do, as a stranger on the Internet, but someone close to you with a good listening ear can be valuable when you're in dark places.

This Wikipedia page (List of suicide crisis lines - Wikipedia) lists a number of suicide crisis hotlines, including a few in Italy, where your profile says you're from. Call one if you need it.

 

[Joseph G]

I've been a Christian since I was young, but lately, I'm struggling deeply with my mental health. I'm in a really dark place. I can’t stop thinking about ending everything. About a week ago, I walked away from God because I’m overwhelmed with questions — questions about why he would allow us to experience pain so intense it could drive someone to this point. How could a loving God allow this? My life has always felt difficult, but this is the worst it’s ever been… and I just can’t seem to escape it. Can someone help me, please?

Hi randomuzer. I know *precisely* where you are at, have been to the brink of ending it all, endured exquisite emotional and physical trials, questions and confusion to the point of feeling like I'm in a swirling vortex of instability, and an irreparablely wounded heart. Sick of myself and sure I'm a fraud as a Christian. And angry at God.

And I assure you - coming to the end of yourself is actually a great place to be - in God's eyes. Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?

I would like to invite you to talk privately, via pm, email, phone, zoom or carrier pigeon! If you find you aren't confident that I can help, then by golly we'll find a brother or sister who can - they're plentiful here and in 3D. You're already covered in prayer. Lemme know!

pm 'Joseph G'
joegunlock@gmail.com
phone or zoom upon request
carrier pigeon - ah well... I can try to capture a dove or sparrow or something around here!

Psalm 40:2 NKJV
"He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps."

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I've been a Christian since I was young, but lately, I'm struggling deeply with my mental health. I'm in a really dark place. I can’t stop thinking about ending everything. About a week ago, I walked away from God because I’m overwhelmed with questions — questions about why he would allow us to experience pain so intense it could drive someone to this point. How could a loving God allow this? My life has always felt difficult, but this is the worst it’s ever been… and I just can’t seem to escape it. Can someone help me, please?

Life can get very dark, even as a Christian. My story was full of emotional turmoil, but eventually God brought me out to a good place.

During the difficulties, I considered ending it all. But now I am glad I did not. At the time, I was devastated by continual relationship failures. But now God has brought me to a place where I am happily married, have kids, and a good job.

Everything about my life is bright, when before it was dark and hard to live each day.

Just stick with it. I had to often march up and down my room stating: "God will give me a good future", even though everything screamed, "It is hopeless".

God will bless you, just walk toward Him, even when you feel like going the other way.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Dear saint,
Begin to hold these things as true in your heart.

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Romans 8:15 KJV
15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Side with God and thank Him for these things.