i'm just totally confused

[geekbuster]

so heres my situation
i've known this girl since like elementary school, and we've always been really good friends
but i've always kind of liked her, more like something in my gut, ya know?
but we were always such good friends i didn't want to screw anything up by asking her out, like i just didn't want to make things weird

but then i just found out from some of her friends that she's always liked me too and that i'm just too thickheaded to catch on. so i was like 'thats cool'
and so the other night i was talking to her and was about to ask her, when she told me that she just started dating this other guy, i guess she just finally thought that it wasn't going to work between us, when it finally was now i just don't really know whats going on, all i can think is that it is God's way of telling me that it just shouldn't be, but it feels so much like it should happen

anyways i was just wondering if any of you have gone through the same type of situation (its like its from a bad tv show or something) or if anybody has any advice

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Tell her you like her.
You never know.
If it was me I'd have to tell her just to get it out cause it would drive me crazy always wondering.

 

[Stanfi]

I think I would have to find a way to tell her also. You will never know unless you tell her.

 

[Inlove]

pray! Ask God what he want you to do.

 

[desi]

You have to put it all on the line without any apology or half-measures. Go over to her house and let it out! Tell her how you honestly feel and have always felt. Tell her she's beautiful and you'd rather have a conversation with her than do anyone else.

The last line was lifted from a member of this forum who's husband used that on her before they got married, it has a good track record of working and its rather clever.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Gimme her e-mail address, I'll tell her for you. (tell her)

 

[geekbuster]

i know what you guys mean when you say 'tell her'

but what if she really likes this other guy, you know
i don't want to make things awkward for her and the relationship she's currently in

i don't know, i'm probably just a gutless wonder

 

[desi]

If you don't go for it now you will always wonder, "What if I had only tried?" Then you will weep. Could you live with knowing she is dating another, married to another, having another man's children etc... when it could have been you. I'm not saying it's easy but you have to get up and go for it now! because the longer you wait the less likely you'll do it and the more time she'll have around this other guy. You're not still sitting there?, are you!

 

[Inspired]

i know what you guys mean when you say 'tell her'

but what if she really likes this other guy, you know
i don't want to make things awkward for her and the relationship she's currently in

i don't know, i'm probably just a gutless wonder

Females love honesty(not to say that men don't) but females know how hard it is for a guy to lay it all out, risking rejection. She won't let you down, even if she doesn't share your feelings, she won't let you feel rejected, friends don't do that. And who knows, if she hadn't thought of you that way before, telling her, will make her think about it. If you can't just look her in the eye and say it, get a hallmark, they always know how, lol

 

[geekbuster]

so, here's the update

i was goin to take your guys advice and tell/ask her, and then i found out that, that other guy wasn't actually a date, he was just some old friend from school, so i was like thats real cool, you know
so i'm goin to ask her, but now the problem is getting the time to ask her, its like every time we get a chance to hang out, we can't get 10 seconds alone together so i can ask her, not to mention we just haven't got much a chance to see each other because of our school/work schedules...its just getting real frustrating
but then i was thinking of visiting her at work and asking her there, but i don't know if that's a bad idea or just too cornball

anyways i just wanted to thank you guys for all your advice, and i'll let you know if something happens

 

[enslow]

You mean to say you just haven't gotten the guts to let it out That's ok.

MAKE some time with her alone. Ask her out for lunch or dinner or something.

Enslow

 

[Rango]

so, here's the update

i was goin to take your guys advice and tell/ask her, and then i found out that, that other guy wasn't actually a date, he was just some old friend from school, so i was like thats real cool, you know
so i'm goin to ask her, but now the problem is getting the time to ask her, its like every time we get a chance to hang out, we can't get 10 seconds alone together so i can ask her, not to mention we just haven't got much a chance to see each other because of our school/work schedules...its just getting real frustrating
but then i was thinking of visiting her at work and asking her there, but i don't know if that's a bad idea or just too cornball

anyways i just wanted to thank you guys for all your advice, and i'll let you know if something happens

Sounds like you got a 50/50 shot. She either knows you want to ask her out and made up the dating the other guy story or she was trying to make you jealous and motivate you. Wimmen have trouble being direct for some reason and your job, as a guy, for the rest of your life, is to become Sherlock Holmes but you will more often end up like Inspector Clouseau. I wouldn't wait for the planets to line up just right, just ask her out and don't get an ulser over it.

 

[desi]

so, here's the update

i was goin to take your guys advice and tell/ask her, and then i found out that, that other guy wasn't actually a date, he was just some old friend from school, so i was like thats real cool, you know
so i'm goin to ask her, but now the problem is getting the time to ask her, its like every time we get a chance to hang out, we can't get 10 seconds alone together so i can ask her, not to mention we just haven't got much a chance to see each other because of our school/work schedules...its just getting real frustrating
but then i was thinking of visiting her at work and asking her there, but i don't know if that's a bad idea or just too cornball

anyways i just wanted to thank you guys for all your advice, and i'll let you know if something happens

You are lucky. Hopefully you will go for it before someone else she's into does.

 

[geekbuster]

so i finally got my opportunity, and i finally took it

she said yeah, so its all good
i just want to thank you guys for all your advice, and for you guys that gave me that little extra push

 

[Quiet Storm]

Praise God! Hope this works out for you.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

This is awesome. You asked for advice, you got it, you used it, it worked. I'm pretty stoked for you man.

 

[DaveKerwin]

cool, glad you decided to be a man and make it happen.

do you have a date planned yet? I say go all out with flowers and everything!

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

I say go all out with flowers and everything!

Open doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears.

It's easy to remember because it ryhmes.

 

[geekbuster]

Open doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears.

It's easy to remember because it ryhmes.

you're a nut dude...its awesome

but yeah, we're finally goin on a date today
i thought about the whole flowers deal, but i figured it would totally sketch her out, i think i'll save that one for a little while down the road

its real wierd though, i don't know what i'm doing, like this is my 1st relationship that God is involved with, before it was just to get physical and never meant to really go anywhere, now i have no clue how to do things since this is a relationship that means something...anyways thanks again and it would be really helpful if you guys could please pray that i don't screw anything up too bad

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

you're a nut dude...its awesome

but yeah, we're finally goin on a date today
i thought about the whole flowers deal, but i figured it would totally sketch her out, i think i'll save that one for a little while down the road

its real wierd though, i don't know what i'm doing, like this is my 1st relationship that God is involved with, before it was just to get physical and never meant to really go anywhere, now i have no clue how to do things since this is a relationship that means something...anyways thanks again and it would be really helpful if you guys could please pray that i don't screw anything up too bad

A little advice from me then, so you can learn from a mistake I once made. If you don't bring flowers, don't even mention that you thought about it. If you bring them, bring them and don't get freaked about what she might think you mean by them, it's a gesture, it's a compliment. But if you're lost for conversation or get nervous, don't tell you you considered it but then decided not too. That would be insulting to her.

I've messed up way bigger than that on past dates, so if you need any more tips from my past debacles, I'll be happy to share them.