I'm In Trouble...

[woobadooba]

I've been getting hit very hard lately. In fact, I've been getting hit hard ever since I became a Christian (about 10 years now).

What this has culminated to is me not going to church, or reading my Bible anymore. Moreover, I really don't even pray anymore.

I feel that God is always angry with me, that I am useless to Him. So why bother?

Right now I think I have a very serious illness. Maybe the Lord will listen to your prayers.

Yes, I am angry! I've given so much of my life to this, and to be left feeling that God is always angry with me is to suffer much emotional pain.

I had thoughts of going back on drugs to at least experience some comfort. But I realize that this is not the way to go. It is better to stay away from drugs.

I just wish I could escape these feelings of always being so bad in everyone's eyes.

 

[tapero]

Hi there friend,

God does not get angry with us. He loves us as a Father, a healthy father, but since He is God His love is perfect. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I have seen some of your posts before and know you get a lot of heck, and that's not right.

Please don't let other Christians dictate your relationship with God. Each man is where they are, and God knows where they are and it's okay. We strive to grow more and more, but often times we go through the valley's which sounds like you are in now my friend, and when we are in the valley, God carries us.

You wrote:

I just wish I could escape these feelings of always being so bad in everyone's eyes.

I would just recommend that you are not who other people percieve you to be. You are okay. People often question our walk when they are being judgemental, which is not right to do. They think our walk should be like their walk, and we are all in different places in our walk and understanding. There are many judgemental Christians as you've probably experienced on the board as well as in church.

I have also had periods of staying away from the bible when all I can hear is condemnation; in my case it was because I had been in a legalistic church which was trying to put chains back on me. Eventually I read Galatians, the freedom book and recovered.

God has use for you my friend no matter what your walk is.

Praying is not easy when we are troubled. Many of us go without praying for many reasons, but surely if you think God is angry at you, I can see why you might not feel comfortable to pray, but let me assure you He loves you very much, and wants you to face your issues. Be open with Him and tell him how you feel, and ask for help.

I am very glad you have decided not to turn to other measures which only cover our troubles for a short time, and have no value in them.

God bless you and please pm me if you would like.

Love,
Tapero

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I agree with Tapero, pray and talk to God. Not facing it won't help. I think your decision to stay away from drugs is extremely wise. Even though it doesn't feel like it, God is your ally, not your enemy. If something pits you against God, then that is your enemy.

I haven't read your posts so I have to ask. Why do you feel bad in the eyes of others? You sound like a God fearing man. Is everything all right with your family?

I'm sorry to hear about your illness and that you're having it hard. I will pray for you.

 

[madison1101]

Your perception of God is one I used to hold onto also. It took me years of therapy and years of being mentored by a loving woman who kept on me about reading and studying the Bible, and really learning about God's awesome love and grace toward us.

I would encourage you to find a loving Christian fellowship to worship with, and study the Bible with.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[lavenderskies]

You have to read your Bible and pray. It will give you the strength you are seeking. Remember God loves you no matter what. HE DIED FOR YOU!!! This alone shows you God loves you. He will always forgive us of our sins. Pray pray pray. I am praying for you also.

 

[UnitynLove]

I've been getting hit very hard lately. In fact, I've been getting hit hard ever since I became a Christian (about 10 years now).

What this has culminated to is me not going to church, or reading my Bible anymore. Moreover, I really don't even pray anymore.

I feel that God is always angry with me, that I am useless to Him. So why bother?

Right now I think I have a very serious illness. Maybe the Lord will listen to your prayers.

Yes, I am angry! I've given so much of my life to this, and to be left feeling that God is always angry with me is to suffer much emotional pain.

I had thoughts of going back on drugs to at least experience some comfort. But I realize that this is not the way to go. It is better to stay away from drugs.

I just wish I could escape these feelings of always being so bad in everyone's eyes.

"It is better to listen to the word of God rather than the word of Man."

 

[Uniting]

You are valuable. Try and feel the divine.

 

[MStanhouse]

Woobadooba,
I often feel this way also, I just got back with the Lord less then a year ago, and ever since I have had so many hardships, sometimes I feel like it is easier not being a christian but then I remember what God's word tells us, Satan is using our weak times to get us to stray away from God, he is messing with us more the closer we get to God cause he doesn't want to lose us to him. We have to go through trials and pain in order to become stronger, God will help us through this, he won't put anymore on us then we can bear, Keep your heart and mind set on God our father, He does love us so much and he promises us he will be with us every step of the way through that valley of death ! Satan is a liar, he will try to make you think that your old ways are better, just remember God's way is the only way to eternal life. He will not desert you, just talk to him, he will listen and he will give you peace and rest if you call on his name. I have lost my son and my best friend of 22 yrs, and I have gone through some real pain but I keep God's word in my heart and I think about on that special day God is the only one that is going to matter, I hope I have been of some encouragement to you, I will be praying for you, we all are family in christ and we all love you ,
Michelle

 

[UnitynLove]

"In this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer because I have overcome the world."

 

[Johnnz]

Your church environment is probably far too negative for you. Look around. Tryreaidng something like What's so amazing about Grace by Philip Yancey, and learn to look at things differently.

John
NZ

 

[Rickeo]

Am new to the siye my first post I will say this God is not angry with you God could never be angry with you.

Sometimes we all go through ups and downs and its not on Gods plan for you to be abused he is not angry.

God knows your hurt your pain your upset he knows Jesus says come to me all you who are tired and burdened and I will give you rest.

He is still there the times when it is most hard in your life brother he is carrying you and closer than every before.

He is whispering in your ear he loves you and you will make it just take a second to listen and hear.

Am new here this is my first post but if u want to chat then am here feel free.

God Bless you borther I will be praying.

~Rick~