I'm in BIG trouble. Any advice?

[Zacharias]

UberLutheran and Freak4JC, thanks for the scriptural words of comfort. I just have to cling to that and hope that I have made the right decision.

According to the scriptures you made the right decision.

 

[AveMaria]

Romaneagle, I'm so sorry - you must be hurting very much inside right now! You'll be in my prayers.

I do think you did the right thing, though, and we all know that doing the right thing isn't always easy.

 

[pmcleanj]

I am sorry to hear this. It is still the right thing to have done, but I am sorry for what it has cost you.

Yet, I would encourage you to give even more. Add this baby to your prayer-life just as you would if you were to be her godmother. Do whatever you can to support the child in her new life in Christ, even if all you can do is send a card on the anniversary of her baptism.

If you can go to the baptism, and it doesn't tear your heart too badly, then go anyway -- you don't need to talk to your friend in order to be there to support her choices for her child. But if you can't go, ask for the baby to be remembered in the prayers of the People in your own church on that day.

The mother's narrowness of vision need not rob the child of the loving prayer support you could have given the child, nor rob you of the blessing of having a child to love, albeit from a distance. And when your friend eventually comes around and restores the friendship, all three of you will be enriched.

 

[RedneckAnglican]

That church is (apparently) extremely strict about the faith of the person they allow to be a godparent to a child.

You are Catholic, but not Roman Catholic.

Is this something you can comfortably dodge with the child's parents, the child, and that church for the next two decades or quarter century; and what would you do if/when it was found out and disclosed that you were NOT a Roman Catholic?

I was kind of going to ask that myself...maybe I'm just ignorant, but do you HAVE to be Roman Catholic to be the childs GODparent?...Surely your freind would understand your conversion if you explained you mind to her...beside I tend to judge people by thier friends...if she's a friend of yours she MUST be a good person....

 

[RedneckAnglican]

I told her the truth. And I'm not going to the baptism

Now I have one less friend. I knew she'd never understand.....

I am truly sorry...

 

[romaneagle13]

I was kind of going to ask that myself...maybe I'm just ignorant, but do you HAVE to be Roman Catholic to be the childs GODparent?...Surely your freind would understand your conversion if you explained you mind to her...beside I tend to judge people by thier friends...if she's a friend of yours she MUST be a good person....

Yes, godparents have to be Catholic. Non Catholic Christians can be Christian witnesses.

My friend and I talked again. She doesn't understand my conversion and she still thinks I made the wrong choice. But she said she doesn't hate me. She was just very surprised and unhappy. I think I understand it. I was raised the same way she was. For those who never been members of the Roman church, Catholics are not encouraged to experiment with other faiths. I was not even allowed to go to protestant services with friends as a kid. When I asked my parents why, they told me that protestants aren't right and that Catholics are, that being Catholics is better. My parents also advocated me seeking boyfriends who were Catholic because it is "better to marry among your own kind".

She doesn't agree with my decision but she said she talked things over with her husband and she still wants me to be the godmother. She said she'll talk to her priest about it. She and I have had a long friendship and she still wants me in her life and her baby's life. (I was the maid of honor at her wedding). So maybe things will be all right. She's had some time to think about it. I'm hopeful.

 

[Zacharias]

Yes, godparents have to be Catholic. Non Catholic Christians can be Christian witnesses.

My friend and I talked again. She doesn't understand my conversion and she still thinks I made the wrong choice. But she said she doesn't hate me. She was just very surprised and unhappy. I think I understand it. I was raised the same way she was. For those who never been members of the Roman church, Catholics are not encouraged to experiment with other faiths. I was not even allowed to go to protestant services with friends as a kid. When I asked my parents why, they told me that protestants aren't right and that Catholics are, that being Catholics is better. My parents also advocated me seeking boyfriends who were Catholic because it is "better to marry among your own kind".

She doesn't agree with my decision but she said she talked things over with her husband and she still wants me to be the godmother. She said she'll talk to her priest about it. She and I have had a long friendship and she still wants me in her life and her baby's life. (I was the maid of honor at her wedding). So maybe things will be all right. She's had some time to think about it. I'm hopeful.

I'm glad that things are working out.

 

[Fish and Bread]

My friend and I talked again. She doesn't understand my conversion and she still thinks I made the wrong choice. But she said she doesn't hate me. She was just very surprised and unhappy. I think I understand it. I was raised the same way she was. For those who never been members of the Roman church, Catholics are not encouraged to experiment with other faiths. I was not even allowed to go to protestant services with friends as a kid. When I asked my parents why, they told me that protestants aren't right and that Catholics are, that being Catholics is better. My parents also advocated me seeking boyfriends who were Catholic because it is "better to marry among your own kind".

I was born Roman Catholic and have experienced a lot of the same thing. One would think that my friends and family would rejoice that I've found God after being an agnostic/atheist for so many years, and I do think they're beginning to finally come around, but people who haven't had the Roman Catholic experience might be surprised at how hostile folks' initial reactions were to it. For many traditionalist Roman Catholics, it's almost better to be nothing than a Protestant. I still get people who try to argue that our eucharist is "fake" or "only bread and wine" and that we're not really a church but rather "ecestiastical body" and call Protestants in general schismatics who are ripping off the true church. To this day people keep asking me when I'm going to revert to the "real" church (Even though I haven't been a member of the RCC in 13-14 years... Yes, I quit at the age of 10 ). You should have seen the look a friend of my father's who ran into me at work today gave me when she founded out I was Episcopalian.

The good news is that people can be educated, though, and I do see many coming to acceptance of it. I even got one family member to attend church with me on Christmas and another on Easter. It remains to be seen who, if anyone, will show up at the confirmation, but eventually if people want a relationship with you they learn to accept your choices. And that's what I'd say to romaneagle -- if your friend is truly a friend, she'll stay your friend and eventually find peace with your decision.

John

 

[ukok]

I'm very pleased that the difficulties that you supposed might be incurred by your honesty, are not coming to fruition and that your friend is so swift to reassure you that she want's to continue the friendship that she enjoys with you. I hope that everything works out well for this situation, I pray it will

God Bless.

 

[ukok]

I was born Roman Catholic

there aren't many non-practising Catholics/non-Catholics (or even Catholics for that matter) that would make such a reference as to having been born Roman Catholic. That made me smile (even if it were accidental on your part)
God Bless.

 

[romaneagle13]

I'm glad that things are working out.

Update for those who are interested: She and I talked again and we really had a good religious discussion. She actually agrees with a lot of my thinking and confessed that she is not really that strict a Catholic anymore. (She was years ago, because her abusive parents pretended to be!) Both she and her husband are fine with it, and she said that that she woruld rather have a good Christian like me than a bad Catholic like her sister in law be the godmother to her child. Their church only requires one Catholic godparent, so if they have a practicing Catholic for the godfather then it doesn't matter that I'm not RC. I am so happy that I have gotten this weight off my chest and that we are friends again, and that I will have a wonderful little godchild soon. My friend is in labor! May God protect her and her child! Amen.

 

[Zacharias]