I'm getting really frustrated

[Gnarwhal]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August. My wife's family is hispanic, her mom and dad immigrated from Ecuador and El Salvador, respectively. This isn'y my wife's first child, but it's my first, and it's her first in a long time. Anyway, I'm getting really really upset at how her family seems horribly inconsiderate of the fact that she's so far along. She's always tired, and whenever she lies down for a nap it seems inevitable that either her mom or one of my step kids will wake her up. On top of that, I'm getting incredibly resentful of her mom who seems like the most selfish woman in the world and is always guilting my wife into taking her places and doing stuff when she needs to be taking it easy. My wife is going to be 39 next week, she's considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of her age, and she had some complications at 21 when she had my step kids so I can only imagine how much more careful we need to be now but doesn't seem to care and I'm getting mad.

When I express that to my wife, how I want her to be taking it easy and not doing so much for her mom my wife basically says "good luck with that" because apparently I'll be dead to her mom if I do that (honestly, sign me up). First chance I get I'm moving her across the country to my hometown and away from her self-important mother.

Is this a cultural thing? Do Hispanic families think it's ok to for pregnant women to push themselves even when they're older and high risk?

I've been visiting family on the west coast for the past two weeks but she stayed behind because she can't fly now. We spoke yesterday and I told her I didn't want her going out on Black Friday both because it's too much for her and because we're broke. She said she had to go pay a bill at Macys and that was it. Well then today I get a notification on my phone that she's at Target and was there for over an hour...most likely because her mom or sister guilted her into going.

I'm not okay with this. A) because nobody seems to respect my authority as husband, even my wife seems to think she can suspend her deference to me as the head of the household because we're living with her parents, and B) nobody seems to respect the fact that she's pregnant.

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

 

[Michie]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August. My wife's family is hispanic, her mom and dad immigrated from Ecuador and El Salvador, respectively. This isn'y my wife's first child, but it's my first, and it's her first in a long time. Anyway, I'm getting really really upset at how her family seems horribly inconsiderate of the fact that she's so far along. She's always tired, and whenever she lies down for a nap it seems inevitable that either her mom or one of my step kids will wake her up. On top of that, I'm getting incredibly resentful of her mom who seems like the most selfish woman in the world and is always guilting my wife into taking her places and doing stuff when she needs to be taking it easy. My wife is going to be 39 next week, she's considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of her age, and she had some complications at 21 when she had my step kids so I can only imagine how much more careful we need to be now but doesn't seem to care and I'm getting mad.

When I express that to my wife, how I want her to be taking it easy and not doing so much for her mom my wife basically says "good luck with that" because apparently I'll be dead to her mom if I do that (honestly, sign me up). First chance I get I'm moving her across the country to my hometown and away from her self-important mother.

Is this a cultural thing? Do Hispanic families think it's ok to for pregnant women to push themselves even when they're older and high risk?

I've been visiting family on the west coast for the past two weeks but she stayed behind because she can't fly now. We spoke yesterday and I told her I didn't want her going out on Black Friday both because it's too much for her and because we're broke. She said she had to go pay a bill at Macys and that was it. Well then today I get a notification on my phone that she's at Target and was there for over an hour...most likely because her mom or sister guilted her into going.

I'm not okay with this. A) because nobody seems to respect my authority as husband, even my wife seems to think she can suspend her deference to me as the head of the household because we're living with her parents, and B) nobody seems to respect the fact that she's pregnant.

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

The family dynamic is a bit different in Hispanic families due to culture. I’m not sure that’s the case here but your wife does need to take it easy. The sooner you both are on your own, the better. I’d just tread lightly at this point.

 

[mourningdove~]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August. My wife's family is hispanic, her mom and dad immigrated from Ecuador and El Salvador, respectively. This isn'y my wife's first child, but it's my first, and it's her first in a long time. Anyway, I'm getting really really upset at how her family seems horribly inconsiderate of the fact that she's so far along. She's always tired, and whenever she lies down for a nap it seems inevitable that either her mom or one of my step kids will wake her up. On top of that, I'm getting incredibly resentful of her mom who seems like the most selfish woman in the world and is always guilting my wife into taking her places and doing stuff when she needs to be taking it easy. My wife is going to be 39 next week, she's considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of her age, and she had some complications at 21 when she had my step kids so I can only imagine how much more careful we need to be now but doesn't seem to care and I'm getting mad.

When I express that to my wife, how I want her to be taking it easy and not doing so much for her mom my wife basically says "good luck with that" because apparently I'll be dead to her mom if I do that (honestly, sign me up). First chance I get I'm moving her across the country to my hometown and away from her self-important mother.

Is this a cultural thing? Do Hispanic families think it's ok to for pregnant women to push themselves even when they're older and high risk?

I've been visiting family on the west coast for the past two weeks but she stayed behind because she can't fly now. We spoke yesterday and I told her I didn't want her going out on Black Friday both because it's too much for her and because we're broke. She said she had to go pay a bill at Macys and that was it. Well then today I get a notification on my phone that she's at Target and was there for over an hour...most likely because her mom or sister guilted her into going.

I'm not okay with this. A) because nobody seems to respect my authority as husband, even my wife seems to think she can suspend her deference to me as the head of the household because we're living with her parents, and B) nobody seems to respect the fact that she's pregnant.

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

I do not know if it is a cultural thing.

But I do know that mother/daughter relationship dynamics can be very complicated, just as MIL/son-in-law dynamics can be.

Your wife may very well realize what is wrong, but just may not presently be strong enough to 'do battle' with her mother.

... Perhaps that will come at a later time. Perhaps never. Or perhaps it will just be better, when you both do not live so close to her mother.
Sometimes it does work better that way, especially when one's mother is self-centered and unable to change.

 

[WarriorAngel]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August. My wife's family is hispanic, her mom and dad immigrated from Ecuador and El Salvador, respectively. This isn'y my wife's first child, but it's my first, and it's her first in a long time. Anyway, I'm getting really really upset at how her family seems horribly inconsiderate of the fact that she's so far along. She's always tired, and whenever she lies down for a nap it seems inevitable that either her mom or one of my step kids will wake her up. On top of that, I'm getting incredibly resentful of her mom who seems like the most selfish woman in the world and is always guilting my wife into taking her places and doing stuff when she needs to be taking it easy. My wife is going to be 39 next week, she's considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of her age, and she had some complications at 21 when she had my step kids so I can only imagine how much more careful we need to be now but doesn't seem to care and I'm getting mad.

When I express that to my wife, how I want her to be taking it easy and not doing so much for her mom my wife basically says "good luck with that" because apparently I'll be dead to her mom if I do that (honestly, sign me up). First chance I get I'm moving her across the country to my hometown and away from her self-important mother.

Is this a cultural thing? Do Hispanic families think it's ok to for pregnant women to push themselves even when they're older and high risk?

I've been visiting family on the west coast for the past two weeks but she stayed behind because she can't fly now. We spoke yesterday and I told her I didn't want her going out on Black Friday both because it's too much for her and because we're broke. She said she had to go pay a bill at Macys and that was it. Well then today I get a notification on my phone that she's at Target and was there for over an hour...most likely because her mom or sister guilted her into going.

I'm not okay with this. A) because nobody seems to respect my authority as husband, even my wife seems to think she can suspend her deference to me as the head of the household because we're living with her parents, and B) nobody seems to respect the fact that she's pregnant.

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

Moms rule the roost dude.

Then she passes on the torch. lol
I have a Mexican [hispanic] friend.
I seen her mum in action, it's all true.

 

[Michie]

Moms rule the roost dude.

Then she passes on the torch. lol
I have a Mexican [hispanic] friend.
I seen her mum in action, it's all true.

Satire of course but having many Latino friends, there are many similarities. There is a huge devotion and responsibility they have for their parents that a lot in America do not have to that degree. I won’t go further than that due to misunderstandings.

 

[Diamond72]

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

You are suppose to bless people, not curse them.

 

[Gnarwhal]

You are suppose to bless people, not curse them.

oOoOoOo look at you go!

 

[Gregory Thompson]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August.

This tends to cause problems regardless of the culture.

 

[Darren Court]

My wife is seven month pregnant, and we've been living with my in-laws since the end of August. My wife's family is hispanic, her mom and dad immigrated from Ecuador and El Salvador, respectively. This isn'y my wife's first child, but it's my first, and it's her first in a long time. Anyway, I'm getting really really upset at how her family seems horribly inconsiderate of the fact that she's so far along. She's always tired, and whenever she lies down for a nap it seems inevitable that either her mom or one of my step kids will wake her up. On top of that, I'm getting incredibly resentful of her mom who seems like the most selfish woman in the world and is always guilting my wife into taking her places and doing stuff when she needs to be taking it easy. My wife is going to be 39 next week, she's considered a "high risk pregnancy" because of her age, and she had some complications at 21 when she had my step kids so I can only imagine how much more careful we need to be now but doesn't seem to care and I'm getting mad.

When I express that to my wife, how I want her to be taking it easy and not doing so much for her mom my wife basically says "good luck with that" because apparently I'll be dead to her mom if I do that (honestly, sign me up). First chance I get I'm moving her across the country to my hometown and away from her self-important mother.

Is this a cultural thing? Do Hispanic families think it's ok to for pregnant women to push themselves even when they're older and high risk?

I've been visiting family on the west coast for the past two weeks but she stayed behind because she can't fly now. We spoke yesterday and I told her I didn't want her going out on Black Friday both because it's too much for her and because we're broke. She said she had to go pay a bill at Macys and that was it. Well then today I get a notification on my phone that she's at Target and was there for over an hour...most likely because her mom or sister guilted her into going.

I'm not okay with this. A) because nobody seems to respect my authority as husband, even my wife seems to think she can suspend her deference to me as the head of the household because we're living with her parents, and B) nobody seems to respect the fact that she's pregnant.

I swear on all that is holy if one thing is wrong with my first born son I will become the worst thing to ever happen to her mother.

Whilst I can symphathise I can't possible know what you're going through but I can two unemotional, rational and scripture based suggestions.

Firstly, you need to pray. Tell God everything you feel including everything you have said here and then ask him for what you desire, but finish with the biggest words of value... "Yet not my will God, but yours" - AND MEAN IT!

Secondly, join a local church because if you have put your faith in Christ, you need to be in with the body of Christ. These are the people who God put in place to provide moral, spiritual and often practical support. Nobody on the internet can do that.

If you do these things, I guarantee God will meet with you, direct you and give you peace no matter what the outcome!