I'm done

[appointed]

Okay, I know what everyone is thinking, here is another guy that comes onto a forum to complain about his failing relationship. But, I would really appreciate it if you would read my moaning and just respond, I feel so frustrated.

First of all, I'm about to walk away from the situation. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months, and we have been through alot together. For instance, when our relationship first started, her dad died. I really tried to be there for her. For weeks I would just come over to her house to sit with her. Beyond that, I tried to act like a christian gentlemen in every situation. I opened her car door, brought her flowers, called her, and just tried to hold her tight when I could tell she was feeling low. I prayed for her countless times.
Now, I knew even before their dad died that their entire family was standoffish but, my girlfriend never wanted to be near me. I'm sorry, but a guy needs to be hugged, kissed and snuggled with, well, at least I do. She never wanted me. And, I'm not talking about sex. I don't want to even get close to sex until marriage.
Whenever we would see each other, all she wanted to do was for me to take her out to dinner.
So, now, I feel that I should just cut the relationship off. I have been so hurt deep inside my heart. I feel totally used even when I tried to be there for her. I don't think I pushed her at all. I just wanted a special relationship. It has been weeks since we last talked, and now I just feel like sobbing.

 

[madison1101]

Let me see if I understand the situation. You started dating your girlfriend six months ago, and her father died right around that time. Now, six months later, she is not the warm and cuddly type of girl you had hoped for. I hope I understand that right.

It sounds like it could be several different situations. 1. She could still be in mourning for her father, and that could include a being depressed. 2. She could just not be the cuddly type. 3. She may not be in a place right now where she can offer much in a relationship. Mourning does that to some people.

Have you discussed this with her to find out where she is at in the scheme of things? Have you told her how you feel about her and what your needs are? She may not be aware of how you feel.

Just my thoughts.

Trish

 

[Danielof the Island]

Do you want to get married and have children? If so, you need to ask yourself if she is willing to go that far with you. If she's not, and you're not interested in continuing the relationship, then you need to break it off gently. Continue to be friends with her so long as she is willing to be friends.

I'm not suggesting you break it off, but rather break up if you feel that the relationship is going nowhere fast. Before doing so, talk to her and explain that you're on the verge of doing so. Give her the chance to explain how she feels.

You also need to realise that she may want to be romantic, but not hug, kiss, cuddle, and so on. I am a man, I want a wife and children, and I have a strong sex drive in the context of furthering the Human race. However, I must admit that the idea of sex outside procreation bores me. I have no interesting in kissing and so forth. A hug is about as intimate as I would want to be. She may simply be in that same possition. Explain how intimate you wish to be, and that you do not believe in sex before marriage. Give her the chance to respond.

In conclussion, talk it out, and if all she wants to do is go to dinners and movies, then you may want to break it off gently.

 

[Akathist]

Your situation reminds me of the "Five Love Languages" book. Here is a link about it: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

BTW, my local library has it so you don't have to buy it if you don't want to.

Basically, each person has a way they show affection. Your girlfriend seems to be showing affection by spending "Quality Time" with you. While you prefer: "Physical Touch".

Now, my guess about this is not perfect, since you said it has been weeks since you talked. But you might check it out just the same.

 

[juicebox]

I am like you bro.
but sometimes you got to make sacrifice, try to give her her own space, or what ever makes her happy.

Take sometime to pray with her.
Maybe God is trying to tell you guys sometime.

 

[allthatisgone]

"I'm about to walk away from the situation."

Well if that's how you feel then do it.

"I feel totally used even when I tried to be there for her."

Er.... ???

When you're there for sb it's coz you care for them, not coz you expect nethin in return.

 

[everlast]

Ok this sounds very odd to me because did you begin the relationship when her dad died? If so then maybe she wasnt looking for a boyfriend type relationship at all, everything just kind of spun out of control maybe because her emotions were very shaken up but she still wanted that close connection of a man, maybe a friend to help her in her time of grief, someone to keep her occupied as you said shes only wanted to go out for dinner and usually nothing else like affection, this would make sense to me as she is not strong enough to be in an affectionate relationship right now, I think what you really need to do here is to have a talk with her about her feelings, state of mind, how she feels, etc. I understand this might be tough as she has alot on her mind but dont let her drift away into the weeks because then you will make the mistake of not knowing, which will make your heart hurt evermore. Their could be alot of factors coming into play, so Im not quite sure what to think of it, but stay focused and God Bless.

 

[ReluctantProphet]

Don't hold on to what doesn't hold onto you.

Build a life before a wife else no matter how wonderful she feels you are, she will find it hard to remain in love and the last thing you want is to live as a partner with someone who has neither admiration for what you do with your life nor love for your presence.

A woman might say that she wants to be everything you live for, but most really know better and if not, they figure it out soon enough.

 

[gpstar]

how old are yo?

 

[mom_one]

praying for you

 

[UnitynLove]

Don't worry God has something better waiting for you. "I reckon the sufferings of this present time is not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

 

[Jamie09]

have you tried talking to her? an open discussion would do you good, at least you have an answer to all your doubts....

it's really not very wise to assume first, i agree with them who said that she could still be mourning for her dad... talk to her ok? at least tell her how you feel...