I'm depressed..

[BeckaMarie]

I've been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 7 years old. I am now 27. I've tried to kill myself several times but nothing seems to work. Its like God keeps saving my life or something. Each time that I would try someone or something would stop me. Part of me wants to live and part wants to die. I just feel so confused.

I'm not sure why I exist or what purpose I could actually have. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. Feeling alone and empty inside is all I've ever known. I don't know how to feel any different.

I have tried to pray but its hard sometimes, especially when my faith is so small. I just totally feel like I am going crazy inside. I have no one to talk to. I never really had anyone I could talk to. Growing up we didn't talk about thoughts or feelings or anything. Everything has just been all inside. I have always mostly been shy and quiet. Never really open up and talk much. So posting here is kind of hard for me. Wouldn't be posting here now if I didn't feel this bad. I just feel worse than I ever have before.

 

[Dungbeetle]

This may sound very basic and forgive me if it does but, do you think that maybe you should try to find a boyfriend? This was the advice which my doctor gave me when I was in my early twenties and feeling very depressed and lonely. (My doctor was a devout Christian.)

Later on, when I studied psychology, I found that there are several stages of human development which people go through. In the teens the stage is "identity versus role confusion". Then in the twenties "intimacy versus isolation". In the thirties "generativity versus stagnation".

In my teens I had problems with my identity and I was very confused. I suffered with anxiety and depression. I was also very shy. But despite that, in my mid-twenties, after many years of loneliness and isolation I found a boyfriend who later became my husband and that helped to cure me of my anxiety and depression.

 

[Amin]

I've been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 7 years old. I am now 27. I've tried to kill myself several times but nothing seems to work. Its like God keeps saving my life or something. Each time that I would try someone or something would stop me. Part of me wants to live and part wants to die. I just feel so confused.

I'm not sure why I exist or what purpose I could actually have. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. Feeling alone and empty inside is all I've ever known. I don't know how to feel any different.

I have tried to pray but its hard sometimes, especially when my faith is so small. I just totally feel like I am going crazy inside. I have no one to talk to. I never really had anyone I could talk to. Growing up we didn't talk about thoughts or feelings or anything. Everything has just been all inside. I have always mostly been shy and quiet. Never really open up and talk much. So posting here is kind of hard for me. Wouldn't be posting here now if I didn't feel this bad. I just feel worse than I ever have before.

Hi, How are you today? I've had depression for quite a while too. I agree
with you, it sucks. All those clouded thoughts and feelings. I can't give you an up front answer that's going to work in 10 min. What i can say is that even tho you don't feel purpose or worth( same with me )The fact remains even tho we can't see it, there is purpose and worth in your life. I don't know why those things can't be seen, but they exist in you. This is a simple example but, can
you see the air, or the wind? I can't yet i know it's there, or we wouldn't be here.
I think sometimes it's the same with ourselves. There are things within us we can't see, i. e. Worth, purpose, but they are there. I can't see mine either, but enough people have said it's there that
maybe they just might be right. I know spiritual things now are things you probably don't want to hear but, do you really think Christ would give His life for something that had no worth. God saw reason enough to give his son that there must be more than we can see. I don't
understand it all, but i do know that your life, even tho i don't know you, means something to me, and i hope you can see we're not alone. There are a lot of people in our situation, and i for one
want to be there for you in any circumstance. I don't know if anything I've said even makes sense.But if you ever want to, you can P M me and maybe together we can sort things out.
Take Care,
Amin, ( short for the musical note, Amin)

 

[burn97]

BeckaMarie, first I want to give you a big hug
You are not alone sister.
I believe God is saving you, He has a purpose for you, a plan for your life. I know that right now it is hard to see that, it's hard to believe it too, huh.
he're a verse that I love to read when I'm feeling bad...
" In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we out to pray for, but the Spirit himself interceeds for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26,27
God knows that we're weak. His strength is made perfect in weakness.
Sister, approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that you may recieve mercy and find grace to help you in your time of need.
(Hebrews 4:16)

Be confident that our Savior is going to take this from you. Prayers are never in vain. They will be answered. Use this time of misery to be covered in the wings of the Lord. There, you will find safety, love, and peace.

 

[BeckaMarie]

Thank you all for your replys.

 

[Bay]

and I will say a prayer here before I head to work for you..God knows,I've felt this many many times

 

[HolyOne87]

im sorry to hear this. I get the same things..everytime i might want to hurt myself, something just stops me(some powerful force).
God has a purpose for you..what is it? well, i always believe that on your journey through life, God shines on you exactly what your purpose is...Like, God gives you little hints and clues during life but it's up to you to figure it out.
We are all here for you on CF. So don't hesitate to post. We are all able to relate to you..in some way(some more than most). I hope you become more comfy with posting here.

*many hugs*

+God Bless+

 

[Everlasting33]

I've been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was about 7 years old. I am now 27. I've tried to kill myself several times but nothing seems to work. Its like God keeps saving my life or something. Each time that I would try someone or something would stop me. Part of me wants to live and part wants to die. I just feel so confused.

I'm not sure why I exist or what purpose I could actually have. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. Feeling alone and empty inside is all I've ever known. I don't know how to feel any different.

I have tried to pray but its hard sometimes, especially when my faith is so small. I just totally feel like I am going crazy inside. I have no one to talk to. I never really had anyone I could talk to. Growing up we didn't talk about thoughts or feelings or anything. Everything has just been all inside. I have always mostly been shy and quiet. Never really open up and talk much. So posting here is kind of hard for me. Wouldn't be posting here now if I didn't feel this bad. I just feel worse than I ever have before.

I can truly understand the pains and frustrations of depression. I was wondering if you sought out a counselor and if not, why?





PS Also, a someone commented on getting a boyfriend to help with depression.
I personally do not agree with the idea. I believe a person should not be involved in a relationship when battling depression (I can say this from experience!) I am glad it worked for the woman above but I cannot see how that would be helpful.

 

[Gear853]

hi. i would personally advice to seek a counsellor. i am seeking a therapist myself, and it helps. also having someone close to talk about things help me alot too.

i know that, if god haven't gave me the friends i have today. i probably wouldn't be here.

you will be in my prayer.

 

[oat02351]

Thank you all for your replys.

Have you saught help for your depression? It sounds like you have really severe case of it. Everyone has some purpose in life, sometimes it takes a while to find it. Any time you need to talk to someone you can pm me any time and may God be with you