I'm Confused

[Habakkuk]

[size=+1][glow=blue]Well, as the title states, I don't really know what I'm thinking, but it concerns my ex, so I figured it should be brought here.

My first piece of confusion is that I don't really know why or when she just decided it. When I went off to boot camp, she was crazy about me, absolutely taken with me. During my 8 weeks there, I got 7 letters... mail wasn't exactly a great tool, but it's all we had. Up until halfway through the 6th letter (2 weeks to go), she was still evidently taken with me (she wrote that letter over 2 days), but in the 2nd half of that letter, that changed. I just don't understand why she'd just change suddenly like that. When she visited me after the graduation (the day she broke up with me), it seemed like she didn't want to like me, but did. Lemme explain my pov:[/glow]

[glow=green]When I first saw her, it was a bit awkward (granted, our families were there when we saw eachother for the first time in 2 months), but as we started walking, things felt like normal again (our conversing... everything). However, when we got back to the van (my parents drove because I was not allowed to by AFI), she just stared out the window, not saying a word to me... how she stayed for the rest of the day. In the end, right before she left, was when she broke up with me.[/glow]

[glow=blue]It just seems to me that when we got back to the van that she realized she'd let herself slip (and like me) and caught herself and ignored me to prevent it from happening again. I guess that brings me back tot he first issue of confusion... I can't even get the 'issues' right... yeesh....

One thing that did strike me as a possibility is that sometime it came out that her best friend does not like me, and that might have something to do with it (her friend is a 'she' and my ex is straight, but her friend's opinion matters to her; oh, I'm a guy, btw). There are no other guys, I'm positive of that one, but.... It doesn't make sense.

Also, when I came back, I wanted to go get my stuff back (I had to go from basic to Tech School, another 8 weeks), but she was vehemently against seeing me... another confusing thing. I dunno... just trying to vent my thoughts anonymously and maybe get some feedback.[/glow][/size]

 

[nenne]

I wish I could help your confusion, I was in a relationship for two years and we even talkeed about engagement, then one day he breaks it all off. I know how chocked you must have been and at times i guess you dont know up from down, but the truth is she is the only one that knows....maybe the distance thing became to much, maybe she missed you to much, maybe there hhad been something there all along.......I know it is hard, especially as she wont see you... will she talk with you though? cause maybe then you should ask? or if that doesnt work try writing her a letter, its easier to get some distance to your feelings in a letter and it also prevents you from saying things you dont want to say. about if her friends opinion might have played a part of course that is possible but as a girl id say that it probably wasnt jsut the opinion but maybe that because of the opinion she had to defend herself on why she was together with you.....which togheter with you beeing away for two months might just have been tooo hard on her, but as i said the best advice is to talkk to her.....and maybe the best way to encourage her to talk to you is if you put yourself out there and explain how you feel - what do you got to lose?

I wish you all the best and remember God knows and cares, and he is carrying you through your confusion.
//Nenne

 

[Living4Him03]

Dating military guys is rough, I'll be honest. Maybe she wanted to keep from liking you because she felt it would be best not to get into a relationship because you are in the military and may be in another country or something like that soon. Long distance relationships are difficult, especially when one person is in the military. Maybe she was trying to protect the both of you from that, but ended up making a mistake in deciding to date you anyway. It's really hard to express how you feel in a letter instead of in person, but it seems she tried to express how she was feeling anyway. Have you told her you just want to know what's going on? That you don't quite understand what happened and want to know what she meant in her letter? If she won't discuss it, I don't know what to tell you. It's definitely something to pray about. The right girl for you will come along though. I think communication is the key...you have to communicate with one another and share what you're thinking/feeling, otherwise things get confusing and often get ugly too! Congrads on getting through your boot camp! What branch are you in? Hope everything works out for the best!

 

[Habakkuk]

[size=+1][glow=blue]First, I'd have to thank you for the advice/insight. I guess I never thought of it being too hard on her... I knew she didn't like me being away, but... I dunno. The only thing about the military-ness is that I'm in the Air Force Reserve, and since I haven't even gotten my 5-level yet, they can't deploy me. As to the being away... true, I'd be gone for another 2 months, but that would be the easier 2. In Tech School I talked to her on either aim or the phone about every other day and if I had wanted, could have even flown her up there. She broke up with me when the hard part was already over.

I know I told her I didn't understand (while I was in Tech School), but since then I've tried to avoid the subject... she really doesn't like talking about it. When we talked in Tech School, it seemed that we'd at least be able to be friends when I got back, and usually seemed like she still liked me. However, since my return, it seems like she wants to sever all contact between the 2 of us. I really do miss her.[/glow][/size]