I'm being stupid...

[redhead3]

I have a wonderful husband that sacrifices so much for his family. We have been married for over 7 years and have three children. I couldn't ask for anyone better. Here it comes......however, I was in a relationship with someone before marriage that I thought was it. Our relationship was unbelievable and my heart pounded every time I saw him and he felt the same way. We dated off and on for several years because he lived far away and so on. Well he got scared and broke my heart and my husband was the one to scrape me off the floor and put me back together. I didn't love him and I told him yet over time my feelings for him grew. There is something to be said about that because it is something that can keep developing. The problem is after 8 years my old boyfriend calls and says he made a mistake and still thinks about me all of the time. He got married also and had a child but divorced two years ago. I thought I was over him but the truth is I have always thought about him. Not daily but what is he doing and why did this happen. I told my husband he called and that everything is cool. I tell my husband everything...but now things aren't feeling so cool and I prayer to the Lord for guidance. I don't want to screw my marriage up but my feelings are real. They never fully went away.
The other problem is I share everything with my husband but I can't share this with him and I don't have anyone else to confide in but the Lord but He already knows. I know this is wrong but pushing back these feelings are hard. My heart doesn't pound when I see my husband but I am glad to see him. i would rather be with him than without. The flesh is just so hard to deal with. Please advise.

 

[nowhereville]

You already know you are in trouble, so I won't dwell on that area.

The truth is that you made a covenant promise to God, not to your spouse. Do you know that that is the ONLY thing God asks you to PROMISE him? He doesn't say promise not to sin, or tithe or any other thing. It has nothing to do with how you feel about your spouse or your ex - it has to do with the word you gave to God.

The great "what ifs" are terrible things - mainly because we can fantasize about them all day long. The truth is that your ex dumped you because he was afraid of intimacy and he probably dumped his wife for the same reason.

This is a simple attack of the enemy dangling this apple in your face and saying, don't you remember? Wasn't it good?

Time to get into some serious prayer warfare and remember your promise to God.

Hugs!

 

[Discipleatlarge]

I would pray for you, but you need to actually sit down and have a really long talk with God. He can help you and guide you.

 

[Lilygirl3]

Honestly, I think you have "The grass is greener" syndrome. First, of all this man left you and broke your heart. Whose to say he would not do it again? Maybe that is what happened with his wife. The fact that he married someone and was only committed to that relationship for 2 years is a big red flag. I can only imagine the story he told you about his marriage. I can guarantee you there is more to it than he told you. I think God saved you from this man by sending you a wonderful husband. And now satan is using this to tempt you. Remember one of satan's goals is to destroy families.

 

[Ari5]

So it took him 8 years, a wife, a child, & a divorce to make him realize he missed you????

Don't fall in the trap honey, satan is setting it up good for you. He is taking your eyes off what you know to be the truth & confusing you with the what if's. You don't even need to go there because you've been through this with this guy & he didn't stand up then & he won't now.

If you need someone to talk to , you can private message me. I've had experience with this. Also recommend the book "every womens battle", excellent for you, Ari

 

[dancingwithhim]

You are in a dangerous place! I agree with everyone else on this. You need to not talk to this man again. It is a trap. Yes, you can think about the what ifs, but that isn't reality and it isn't God honoring.

Pray and ask the Lord to renew your thought process. Whenever you start to fantisize about this other guy (being married to him or whatever), push it out of your mind. Commit it over to the Lord completly. Your husband deserves all of you. If this guy calls again, tell him that you can't talk to him anymore because it isn't worth losing your husband, going through custody battles, and breaking a covenant that you made with the Lord.

I am sorry that you are going through this. Romans 12:1 and 2 talks about renewing the mind with the Word of God. So, do so and you will start to see things in a different light.

 

[fulltime]

As a man I would be very jelous that youn were talking to another man, especially one that you had a realationship with. I would also say that you need to cut those ties and work on your own marriage to make it better. A husband is not only a spouse,but also a friend. Turn the situation around. Would you want your husband talking to someone that he had a past relationship with.I will pray for your situation and for honesty with your husband and God.

 

[redhead3]

I've told my husband everything and I emailed the other and told him not to contact me again. I was being tempted and let my gaurd down. I was feeling lonely and made a mistake I am just glad it did not go any further. My prayers were answered by God and thank you for the advice. I love my husband very much and realize what a treasure he is to me.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I've told my husband everything and I emailed the other and told him not to contact me again. I was being tempted and let my gaurd down. I was feeling lonely and made a mistake I am just glad it did not go any further. My prayers were answered by God and thank you for the advice. I love my husband very much and realize what a treasure he is to me.

Good for you. Its difficult to overcome the magical possibilities of the path left untaken. To go back and take the other fork in the road is a dream I think most people occasionally ponder. What if...

You were given the shot and you made the responsible choice with the more predictable guy. What if only he hadn't broken up with you? What if you two would have married...

Would you be the single divorced mother of his child?

 

[OakeyAngel]

I'm glad to hear you have done the right thing.
I agreee with nowhereville. Saten loves to attack and destroy marriages.
I always keep this verse near to me.
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of
evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you
have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of
truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of
righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the
readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all
this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of
salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers
and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on
praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:13-18

 

[MomBlessedBy2]

Praise God! This is one marriage Satan will not destroy!!!

 

[Romanseight2005]

Praise God! This is one marriage Satan will not destroy!!!

Amen! May God's covering be over this marriage!

 

[sally.b]

Those strong feelings you get are what they call "lust". And they aren't worth the price you would have to pay to fulfill them!

Its great to hear you have seen the light!... Stay strong!