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I'm Attracted To A Married Woman. What Should I Do?

AnonymousGuy44

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I have found myself attracted to this very kind, loving woman in our congregation.

She is very kind, I've never seen her angry, she's beautiful, and has a great figure. The problem is... She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?
 
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Chinchilla

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I have found myself attracted to this very kind, loving woman in our congregation.

She is very kind, I've never seen her angry, she's beautiful, and has a great figure. The problem is... She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?

Run away 1 Corinthians 6:18:runcry:
 
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brinny

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I have found myself attracted to this very kind, loving woman in our congregation.

She is very kind, I've never seen her angry, she's beautiful, and has a great figure. The problem is... She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?

You are dead wrong. But i suspect you already know that. Yes?

Welcome to CF AnonymousGuy, and leave that woman alone.
 
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W2L

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I have found myself attracted to this very kind, loving woman in our congregation.

She is very kind, I've never seen her angry, she's beautiful, and has a great figure. The problem is... She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?
Stop thinking about her.
 
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Bobber

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I have found myself attracted to this very kind, loving woman in our congregation.

She is very kind, I've never seen her angry, she's beautiful, and has a great figure. The problem is... She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?
Handle what? You don't have a right to handle anything. Three words of advice...KNOCK IT OFF!
 
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frater_domus

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Handle what? You don't have a right to handle anything. Three words of advice...KNOCK IT OFF!

0AXlBTh.gif
 
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AnonymousGuy44

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Handle what? You don't have a right to handle anything. Three words of advice...KNOCK IT OFF!
I think what you are thinking I meant is not what I meant. I don't intend to initiate anything. What I meant was, how do I handle these feelings?
 
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mr_horse

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She's married, and has two kids. What should I do? How should I handle this?

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling attracted to a woman who's taken. Some of my friends have beautiful wives and girlfriends. But I can't have them, obviously; they're not mine. Out of respect I don't flirt with them or make any kind of move. I don't entertain thoughts of an affair with them either. If you're really struggling, tell her husband and your pastor. If that doesn't work, find another church. Your crush isn't worth ruining your life and possibly their marriage over.

Oh and if she flirts with you, run like hell. Avoid getting alone with her. Boundaries.
 
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frater_domus

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I think what you are thinking I meant is not what I meant. I don't intend to initiate anything. What I meant was, how do I handle these feelings?

Most of all, give it time. What you are feeling isn't love. It is attraction and the resulting infatuation. Give the chemicals in your body time to lose their effect. If it impairs you judgement, stop going to church for a while. Yes, I mean it. Better to enter heaven with one eye than tossed into hell with two. If not going to church is the price for you to handle the issue in godly manner, so be it.

Beyond that, exercise always helps. It flushes your body of all those hormones, calms you by introducing several other natural chemicals into your system.

Prayer is another weapon against it, though I probably won't have to go into detail why that helps :p

Take it from someone who is single and has to struggle against attraction to random women a lot of the time ;)

Remember though. Attraction is natural. Acting on this attraction in a situation that is biblically forbidden is wrong. But you already know that.
 
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brinny

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I think what you are thinking I meant is not what I meant. I don't intend to initiate anything. What I meant was, how do I handle these feelings?

See post #2, and in the meantime, pray for forgiveness for those thoughts.

You know which Bible verse i'm referring to that tells us exactly what those thoughts are, yes?
 
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I think what you are thinking I meant is not what I meant. I don't intend to initiate anything. What I meant was, how do I handle these feelings?

You turn away and generate feelings elsewhere. She is taken, married and with kids, you have to think about others feelings, no matter how she might be feeling about her husband at the time. Put yourself in the husbands shoes, would you want another man to sweep your wife off her feet and break up your home? I didn't think so.
 
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Bobber

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I think what you are thinking I meant is not what I meant. I don't intend to initiate anything. What I meant was, how do I handle these feelings?
Well that's good to know you don't intend to initiate anything. You said she's loving and kind...her husband may not be so very much the same, and well...you know what that could mean. As to appreciating that certain individuals of the opposite are attractive no sin there. God made her that way for her husband and of course I know some might choose not to be married. If you however are wanting a spouse AND if you serve God not that you're perfect but you're really trying your best God will provide a spouse for you too...Ask and you shall receive!
 
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paul becke

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LOL!

Exactly.
Yes. In a word : 'nothing'' But seriously, pray short prayers for her, when you see her or think of her.

I am attracted to several wonderful, married women, but one in particular, whose prayers for me I feel, and I believe she feels mine for her ; and often I also pray for her husband, just after. Unfortunately, there is always a gender dimension in relation to my prayers for her, which can lead away from spiritual love, and when I see that about to happen, my prayer is a simple : 'Peace be with you'. That seems to put the onus onto God, and my heart doesn't get caught up carnally, though perhaps marginally, genderwise, still. Even then, sometimes, I feel I have to say to God, 'No, please Lord, don't bless her through me. You just bless her, would you please.' That way I can be sure my prayer will not be tainted, will be pure. I'm not usually as long-winded as that in asking it of Him, as I know He knows my thoughts and what I mean.

I think there are worse sins than finding kind and beautiful women appealing as women, as well as merely humanly. They don't suddenly become subjects meriting indifference or dislike, but it's part of what that great French detective, Inspector Clouseau, described as 'all part of life's rich pageant'.

It is a very seductive form of trial, because there is light and potential darkness. Though my late wife and I didn't 'turn' each other 'on' magically, as the mere sight of others could (She really liked the big, blond ubermensch type... where I'm the opposite !), but our loyalty was like our love - total. Marriage whether yours or your fancy woman's towards her spouse, should have a special, unique, divine blessing, whereby you would physically die for each other.

The more I think of your youth and the array of sexual stimuli young men face in the West, but particularly in the US, the more I sense I see in the stricter approach to your problem suggested by other posters. I have to put away thoughts of a 'fancy woman' curled up in bed beside me, sometimes ; but as a young man that could only have led in one direction.

Even then, you will think of her sometimes, and enjoy the experience, before you 'wise up', but you must do your best, which with God's help will be good enough.
 
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AnonymousGuy44

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Well that's good to know you don't intend to initiate anything. You said she's loving and kind...her husband may not be so very much the same, and well...you know what that could mean. As to appreciating that certain individuals of the opposite are attractive no sin there. God made her that way for her husband and of course I know some might choose not to be married. If you however are wanting a spouse AND if you serve God not that you're perfect but you're really trying your best God will provide a spouse for you too...Ask and you shall receive!
I indeed agree with you. I was born into a messianic family. I have always tried to serve God to the best of my ability. However, since I am Human, I fall short. I have always been very spiritual thanks to my mother, and the gift God gave me that is to be able to hear him when he wants me too. I posted this to get insight from other believers. But, I do realize that this reuqires prayer, and listening to God.
 
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AnonymousGuy44

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Yes. In a word : 'nothing'' But seriously, pray short prayers for her, when you see her or think of her.

I am attracted to several wonderful, married women, but one in particular, whose prayers for me I feel, and I believe she feels mine for her ; and often I also pray for her husband, just after. Unfortunately, there is always a gender dimension in relation to my prayers for her, which can lead away from spiritual love, and when I see that about to happen, my prayer is a simple : 'Peace be with you'. That seems to put the onus onto God, and my heart doesn't get caught up carnally, though perhaps marginally, genderwise, still.

I think there are worse sins than finding kind and beautiful women appealing as women, as well as merely humanly. They don't suddenly become subjects meriting indifference or dislike, but it's part of what that great French detective, Inspector Clouseau, described as 'all part of life's rich pageant'.

It is a very seductive form of trial, because there is light and potential darkness. Though my late wife and I didn't 'turn' each other 'on' magically, as the mere sight of others could (She really liked the big, blond ubermensch type... where I'm the opposite !), but our loyalty was like our love - total. Marriage whether yours or your fancy woman's towards her spouse, should have a special, unique, divine blessing, whereby you would physically die for each other.
I agree. Being attracted to someone else is simply Human nature. It's how God made us. But in instances like these, we must not let it cloud our judgement.
 
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