I'm afraid...

i went out w/my friends for my birthday, & I wasnt worried about anything so wonder if the Holy Spirit has left me and I really dont have ocd. I hope not,Im jsut getting so tired or this, I'm giving up and accpeting things the way they are & moving on. I see some people ad think that it was such a blessing that God called me young...but then look what happened to me! So, I dunno if i just a mean person or what.

What are you saying Caty isn't it good that you were not worried. Being a believer brings peace like I mentioned before. I believe God is doing a healing in your spirit. Just accept it and be happy. Some days will be easy somedays may get hard again. Just hang on with HIM HE HAS NOT LEFT YOU. God is happy when we go out and have nice time with friends don't you think? He did it a lot when he lived on the earth. gg

yah, it was nice not to worry. but Im afraid the Holy Spirit is leaving me or something because i try to "leave my worries here" (on this board) and I try not to think about them until I get on the internet to post them & I dont think that much about God (i still pray & thank Him) but I dont read the Bible or anythign, I dunno I dont get as alarmed whenever the thoughts happen anymore (i dont know if im used to them or it's just me & my personality) but I try to just get over it and not think about it, but i stilll kinda worry they are from me. I hope He's healing me instead of leaving me completely.

It is good to leave your irrational fears and worries about whether or not God is with you or you have sinned against the HS behind. This is kind of a churchy saying perhaps but it always worked for me. I was told to leave my fears and worries at the foot of the cross to lay down my burden there and toNOT PICK IT UP AGAIN> knowing that Jesus died for all my sin all my worry and all my fear to be swallowed up and removed into the sea of God's forgetfullness.

Mic 7:19You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Psa 103:8The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

Psa 103:9He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

Psa 103:10he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

Psa 103:11For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

Psa 103:12as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzTHAJ-DxWo&feature=related

I know you have said you do not like to watch songs cause they somehow make you feel bad. i do not think this one will I am offering it to you to watch if you desire. It is so peaceful and cements the truths of these scriptures securely in My heart. Peace gg

I don't want to watch that (is that bad) it's like I dont have the desire & Im scared now because I hope God isnt leaving me. but I just try not to think about it I mean I still pray & thank Him & stuff but I haven't read the Bible, I'll try tonight (but just typeing that sends a fear over me that it will be pointless.)

Caty said:

...I hope God isnt leaving me.

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It was quite significant when God was born of a woman, lived as a God-Human, and did everything in God's power to be attached to this world, to love it and deify it. God craved human life, and God chose to never be detached from God's creation. God is tied to the things of this world forever.
...
We must teach each other that God craves us, with uncontrollable passion and desire, so that our world and our flesh (though imperfect) may be re-created and made perfect and healthy for ever. Christ is forever attached to us, and we to Christ, and this is the Church, a community of holy flesh in a sacred world.

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See this is why I don't try to understand the Bible all by myself. Your attempt at trying to understand the Bible has IMO done far more to hurt your walk with God then help.

Command0182 said:

See this is why I don't try to understand the Bible all by myself. Your attempt at trying to understand the Bible has IMO done far more to hurt your walk with God then help.

Please, God, leave you?

It's enough to make me roll on the floor and moan about it.

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I know the first quote is from Caty but not sure about the second. It doesn't sound like hers. Please be careful of your judgement of her she is dealing with a burden we who do not have OCD know little about. Just pray for release. The Word of God will do its work as she is able to receive it but do not discourage her at least trying. gg

gratefulgrace said:

I know the first quote is from Caty but not sure about the second. It doesn't sound like hers.

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No, it's not.

gratefulgrace said:

Please be careful of your judgement of her she is dealing with a burden we who do not have OCD know little about.

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I have OCD.

It just drives me insane at what these people are taught about God. There is really very little anyone can do to help, I know.

Oh I didn't know Command. I am not sure what you mean by your comment. Do you mean what people in general are taught or just certain people. I believe a right understanding of God's grace and mercy is important in helping us deal with our worries and fears which I understand is a big part of OCD. There is lots that is hard to understand in the Bible but realizing the Love of God as shown through Jesus is pretty comforting to me. And Jesus says if we have seen Him we have seen the Father. Assurance of salvation is the bedrock of my relationship with God so I find it hard to understand how it must feel not having that foundation to ones faith. Kind of like standing on quick sand at times perhaps to not be able to grasp or recieve that truth solidly and completely. I am praying for Caty. As a person with OCD do you struggle in this area? You seem pretty confident. gg

gratefulgrace said:

Do you mean what people in general are taught or just certain people.
...
Assurance of salvation is the bedrock of my relationship with God so I find it hard to understand how it must feel not having that foundation to ones faith. Kind of like standing on quick sand at times perhaps to not be able to grasp or recieve that truth solidly and completely. ... As a person with OCD do you struggle in this area? You seem pretty confident. gg

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I'm Orthodox. We're the Church that wrote the Bible.
The First Ecumenical Council, neatly compiled all the texts you now see in your Bible and the writers of the Bible are a part of our Church.

We have not, nor have we ever, nor have the Catholics, nor had anyone until around the 1500's, taught that the Bible is the actual Word of God (that's Christ/God Himself). We do not believe, nor have we ever, that it is necessary to read the Bible to come to know God (Einstein came to believe in God through mathematics and physics...etc, though he didn't come to have a full understanding).

Consider this. If the Bible is the actual Word of God (above or equal to Christ/God Himself), why does it not say so anywhere in the Bible itself (it does say it's inspired)? Surely, it's own authors, as they were writing, would've been aware of this wouldn't they? Wouldn't they have written that down? Or at least, passed it on? I mean, many of them held quite some sway in the Church.

The First Ecumenical Council of the Holy Orthodox Church compiled all the Biblical texts which you now see. Surely, they would've known if it was the actual Word of God (again the actual Word of God is Christ/God Himself). Why didn't they ratify it? They ratified belief in The Trinity; belief in the Trinitarian God. So why didn't they list belief in the Bible as the actual Word of God as dogma also (it is the Word God second hand, but not first hand)?

Nobody, ever, taught that the Bible was the Word of God first hand until...around the 1500's. That's when the belief first appears.

If St. Paul, Mathew, Mark, Luke & John, early Church Fathers, Ecumenical Councils...etc. believed that the Bible was the actual Word of God first hand, that their writings were equal to Christ (though they were in agreement with Christ), they sure kept quiet about it.

Who is the Word of God? God. John 1:1

My point? My point is that the Bible is highly metaphorical and difficult to understand. So I don't usually bother to read it.

As for what I said about people's modern-day interpretations of the Bible, it makes me roll on the ground moaning. People have used the Bible to justify all kinds of crazy beliefs.

I've read a story from a woman who endured all kinds of abuses and shouting and yelling from her husband (he even banned the celebration of Christmas). Why? Because the Bible says he's the head. She stayed with her abusive husband, because the Bible told her to (so she says). Then one day, her eldest daughter tried to commit suicide and she had an awakening.

She left her husband, and became an atheist. She says that in her abusive lifestyle that she lived the fullness of the Christian Faith and so on... now she's a devout atheist.

That's where the Bible took her (or her interpretation of it, she was a fundamentalist btw).

The Bible's been used to support slavery, subjugation of women...etc. The list just goes on and on and on.

Then I see this forum and people are griping and moaning about what they read in the Bible. It just makes me roll on the floor in frustration to see these people pick out these verses in the Bible and talk about how God no longer loves them and how He punishes the wicked...etc...etc.

Christ came in the flesh and died for us because He loves us so much. But ohhhhh what's this? Oh a dirty word, uttered against The Holy Spirit? Oh, I'm afraid forgiveness doesn't extend to you my friend!!!!!

They believe God's Eternal Love is so conditional, that you have to be soooooooo good to earn a ticket to Heaven. And of course they have all these Bible verses picked out.

As an Orthodox Christian, I know that hate is antithetical to God's Nature. And I know that hate, and those who employ it, know neither The Holy Spirit, nor the Divine image they are imprinted with.

No, you won't find that in the Bible, nor will you find any mention of The Trinity. But not everything is in the Bible.

Anyhow, I can't stand it anymore, the way people make God out to be this super selective bureaucrat, or war-monger, which He's not. So I created a thread which lists an anonymous Christian Counseling resource, which I'm hoping that people here will start taking advantage of. It helped me immensely, I used to struggle with similar fears of God. But now I think I can safely say I've seen those fears on their way out the door.

EDIT:
Just to clarify my beliefs on the Bible. The Bible comes from Tradition. It is not the Word of God (that's Christ or God Himself), but it is the Word of God written down by human authors. So it's the Word of God, second hand. Furthermore, only the Bible in it's original languages is inspired, it's many, many, many translations into foreign languages are not.

For more information, visit here. LINK

You raise many valid points and I would like to discuss them with you however I am concerned that taking this path here will hijack this thread and the intentions of the OP to get some help and support for her struggle with OCD as it concerns her faith walk with Christ. I will PM you a bit later but I must go out now. Peace. GG

I tried to read the Bible but I feel its a waste because I dont think im saved, but i just want to forget this SO bad & move on & just go with (with Jesus & God) but im afraid im having blind faith.

don't worry about reading the Bible right now Caty. Fatih in Jesus in enough. Do you have a church or place you go to worship? gg

No. I'm pretty sure the Holy Spirit has left, I dont have much desire. I mean Istill want Him, but I just dunno.

That could help you I think if there was a church where you felt comfortable. Where did you go as a child? Is that not an option? At least the same denomination. gg

It is very difficult to be a 'lone ranger christian' we all need spiritual fellowship and encouragement and an opportunity to praise and worship the Lord. I went through a time in my late teens and early 20's when I didn't fellowship and even though I still believed it was hard to make the right choices. God gradually drew me back at age 23 after I was married. gg

I just don't want to (I have no desire & I would have to do it on my own). I want God but I just don't want that (& honestly I dunno if my anxiety could handlle it) I'm still just worried if Im saved or not.

I hear ya. That is too bad though. I know I was really nervous going back and I am not OCD. I was depressed and had lots of anxiety though. Of course it wasn't just that that got me back on track spiritually but an encounter with the Jesus in my living room. No I didn't hallucinate but I did feel the presence of The Lord as a comforting light. I had been praying for the baptism in the HOLY SPIRIT. It made a difference for me as I had been a 'head knowledge" beleiver in christ since age 13 but now I felt my heart was full of God too. I pray that Christ through the Holy Spirit will meet you right where you are. Still praying for ya. gg

Thanks & I'm not trying to insult you but whenever people say they are praying for me I mean I'm glad, but I ever think it will do anything for me, I feel like its pointless because prayer can't change who I was.

Not many people come here to try & help me anymore. I know I've drove them away w/my worries. I'm afraid that means I've really committed this sin & God isn't sending as many people to help me anymore. Or that maybe He is like them & doesn't want me anymore & maybe He doesn't even love or think about me.