I'm a Recluse

[FaithfulPilgrim]

Hello brethren.

I'm am 20 years old and I still live with my parents. I am very reclusive and spend a very large portion of each day in my room.

I think I've been this way since I was 15.

My mom and stepdad want me out of this house. I guess they're right because I should have moved out by now, but I would have nowhere to go if I did leave.

I'm struggling in school, for a variety of reasons. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is due to things that are beyond my control. I lack motivation, and find it hard to focus, but I keep at it the best I can, but with social obligations and babysitting younger siblings, and work, I find it hard to keep up with my assignments. I'm very unorganized, yet I've never found an organizational strategy that I could stick with for very long. It also doesn't help that my mom and sister screech at each other right outside of my room while I try to study or read an assigned chapter from a book. I have been making a bigger effort in college than I had before, but it is still a struggle.

Also, I am having problems with my computer, but it is very important for my homework.

If I fail this semester, I will have to go into the military, and tbh I don't want to go since I don't feel like I'm cut out for it. I could probably handle the Air Force, but I will not join any branch if I can help it. Unfortunately, that is one of the hardest branches to get into and I absolutely will not join the Marine Corp. Unfortunately, just like many jobs in modern society, the military is getting more particular about who they will take. I understand why they do it, but I am concerned about those who will be left behind in the dust because they don't have any useful skills or never really had a chance to develop skills. I also don't feel like God is calling me into the military, and I discussed it with Him and had an open mind and heart about it.

I think what drove me to a solitary lifestyle is that my family is always yelling and screeching at each other and I feel like my room is the only place where I can get away from all that. I guess that, in turn, turned me introverted and shy.

I try telling my parents how I feel, but they don't listen. When I tried explaining to my mom that she didn't understand, she flat out said she didn't want to understand. I do come out of my room to eat and help supervise my younger sublings while my parents have something important to do.

I do occasionally make an effort to come out of my room and be more social, but I can only take so much before I need to recharge and sometimes my attempts at being social backfire.

As for my job, I work at a grocery store, but I can't find employment anywhere else. Not even Walmart would take me. It's alright I guess, but I am required to be outgoing since I bag groceries and assist with carry outs, and that is draining.

Unfortunately I probably couldn't make a steady living off any of my interests or hobbies as they are either "dead" like philosophy and cartography, or just aren't really all that useful. Sometimes I feel like life hates me because if I like something, then it's bound to be a dying field or one without any real use or make enough money I can live off of.

Idk what to do.

 

[brinny]

Bless yer heart, praying for you (((hug)))

 

[sparkle123]

Praying for you. My husbands brother was a recluse like this, until he applied for a job in a bigger city (at a big box store that deals with electronics) and found roommates to live with. He has a good job now doing something with tech support and lives on his own.

My husband escaped the nest by teaching overseas. That is a good option if you are up to the travel. I have a friend who learned web development.

Further, there are community college programs in OT and nursing that are brief and can make you some money while doing good in the world.

You aren't doomed. Philosophy has never paid well, but in all honesty it's probably better not to earn money with it. I hope and pray you will find your way-- more than that, I believe in your ability to do so. God bless you.

 

[redleghunter]

Hello brethren.

I'm am 20 years old and I still live with my parents. I am very reclusive and spend a very large portion of each day in my room.

I think I've been this way since I was 15.

My mom and stepdad want me out of this house. I guess they're right because I should have moved out by now, but I would have nowhere to go if I did leave.

I'm struggling in school, for a variety of reasons. Some of it is my own fault and some of it is due to things that are beyond my control. I lack motivation, and find it hard to focus, but I keep at it the best I can, but with social obligations and babysitting younger siblings, and work, I find it hard to keep up with my assignments. I'm very unorganized, yet I've never found an organizational strategy that I could stick with for very long. It also doesn't help that my mom and sister screech at each other right outside of my room while I try to study or read an assigned chapter from a book. I have been making a bigger effort in college than I had before, but it is still a struggle.

Also, I am having problems with my computer, but it is very important for my homework.

If I fail this semester, I will have to go into the military, and tbh I don't want to go since I don't feel like I'm cut out for it. I could probably handle the Air Force, but I will not join any branch if I can help it. Unfortunately, that is one of the hardest branches to get into and I absolutely will not join the Marine Corp. Unfortunately, just like many jobs in modern society, the military is getting more particular about who they will take. I understand why they do it, but I am concerned about those who will be left behind in the dust because they don't have any useful skills or never really had a chance to develop skills. I also don't feel like God is calling me into the military, and I discussed it with Him and had an open mind and heart about it.

I think what drove me to a solitary lifestyle is that my family is always yelling and screeching at each other and I feel like my room is the only place where I can get away from all that. I guess that, in turn, turned me introverted and shy.

I try telling my parents how I feel, but they don't listen. When I tried explaining to my mom that she didn't understand, she flat out said she didn't want to understand. I do come out of my room to eat and help supervise my younger sublings while my parents have something important to do.

I do occasionally make an effort to come out of my room and be more social, but I can only take so much before I need to recharge and sometimes my attempts at being social backfire.

As for my job, I work at a grocery store, but I can't find employment anywhere else. Not even Walmart would take me. It's alright I guess, but I am required to be outgoing since I bag groceries and assist with carry outs, and that is draining.

Unfortunately I probably couldn't make a steady living off any of my interests or hobbies as they are either "dead" like philosophy and cartography, or just aren't really all that useful. Sometimes I feel like life hates me because if I like something, then it's bound to be a dying field or one without any real use or make enough money I can live off of.

Idk what to do.

Praying for you Bro.

I am a retired LTC US Army.

If you go to the advice section, ping me and I can discuss military service and organizational skills.

This is the prayer wall and giving advice is frowned upon.

At your service in prayer.

God Bless.

 

[mnorian]

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[rockytopva]

Father I pray blessings on this request and for good direction in this life in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the 1:15PM bbnradio.org Family Altar program.

 

[user385]

I have prayed that you find the job that God wants you to have, that He fix any situations between you and your family that might be making things difficult for you and that He help you with college.

 

[Paidiske]

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[Neal T.]

First of all, let me just say that you are not alone in this. There are others just like you who struggle with certain facets of their life. I'm one of them. But let me tell you something, and this only occurred to me a few weeks ago. You are exactly how God wanted you to be. He has a plan for you, even if you don't know it yet. Seek his counsel, because there is no one greater who can guide you on your path. Introverts have a small advantage over extraverts, in that we spend a lot more time away from the crowds and noise; thus opening the door for the Holy Spirit to descend upon us.

Have you looked into social groups at your college? I know there was a philosophy group back when I went to college. Might be something like that where you attend. My first semester in college, I got involved in the chess club (a nice little game for introverts) and the school newspaper. Sadly though, I made the mistake of leaving both after that first semester. I was taking on too many credits and couldn't juggle everything. But had I stayed in those groups, it might have helped me to become more of an extravert.

As for as organizational skills, I would recommend prioritizing everything based on what needs to get done first. If you have assignments that need to be submitted the next day, obviously get those done first. Then if you have a paper that's due in a few weeks, work on that later. If you worry about all things you need to do, then you're not doing them. So take one at a time and gradually you'll find that your workload will take care of itself.

Work can definitely be draining. I work in a call center with 300 people chittering at the same time, and it can get exhausting. What I've been doing lately though is to try and keep God in mind at all times. It's worked pretty well so far, though one bad call can put me in a lousy mood. So then I just try to get back focused on God again. In doing so, I keep my tone down so that I'm not trying to talk over everybody else - which slowly drains me as well. You can still smile when greeting them, but stay focused on Jesus, keep an even tone, and hopefully that will help you get through your day a little easier.

From one introvert to another, I hope these tips help you. God bless and be with you.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

If you are into cartography there are jobs available and or related jobs (GIS programmer)...you may need to move out of state/out of country.

I found this online...Be a GIS Developer: Job Description and Requirements

Our nephew moved out of country so he could work at his so called "dead" job...it was only "dead" where he lived but in developing areas/countries his type of work was still "alive" and he makes good money.