I'm a newbie...

[Down In It]

Hey guys,

New to the website as you can see. I am recently working at sobriety (5 months) after drinking for 4 years and really abusing it for about 2 years. I became a sun up to sundown drinker those last two years and really paid the price. I had an inflamed liver, stomach problems, and all the other lovely things that come along with being slushed 24/7. I used prescription medication mostly and cocaine to. I was depressed so I used and was depressed that I used. So basically just ran around in circles killing myself little by little. I hated the person I saw in the mirror and hid from that person for so long. What I saw was what I hated and I tried so hard not to be. I saw a person that was superficial, obsessed with looks, and just a lie. I was numb, so numb that I was totally indifferent to the fact I doubted I would live to 21. It took a major event to kind of shake me up and get me on the right path again. It's taken a ton of hard work both physically, mentally, and socially but it's happening. I believe I can become totally sober.

I still struggle with being sober. I will occasionally get my bottle of Jager or buy some cans of joose but it's getting less and less. I don't let a slip up destroy my whole week long sobriety anymore. It's hard though I get some pretty bad cravings at times and can't be around people who are drinking at all. It's worth it though you know? I like being able to see that person in the mirror and like what I see. I don't think I will ever be the happiest person in the world, but I don't think I have to be anymore.

My therapist thought I should join an online community and this one seemed like a pretty good place so hope you guys don't mind if I stay and post more.

 

[madison1101]

Have you tried attending AA meetings? There is great face to face support, and learning there. I have found that attendance at meetings, and working the 12 steps is what I must do to maintain my 10 month sobriety, and stand a chance of getting 11 months. At AA meetings I hear people share their stories, and I relate to each one in different ways.

Sobriety in AA is defined as not drinking any alcohol. I went through two years of slipping and bingeing. I do not consider the days I drank as sober days, and I could not get more than five continuous months of sobriety till I went to inpatient rehab, and learned to be open minded, willing, and honest about my disease of alcoholism.

Keep posting and consider attending a few AA meetings. You can find meetings and learn about AA at www.aa.org

Trish

 

[Down In It]

Hi Trish!

Thank you for your response and congrats on being sober for ten months! I've been to AA a few times usually with my dad (He isn't an alcoholic just goes for support.) and I really haven't talked much just listened. Personally I prefer one on one therapy to a group type therapy so I tend to just listen if I go. There is an AA group that meets at a church in my town probably have been like 4 times. Right now I go to therapy and meet with an addiction specialist once a week for each. I did a one month inpatient rehab in late august early September that was pretty eye opening not to mention painful because of my withdrawal to opiate based pain killers.

Ya I've kicked my cocaine and pain killer habits but I still slip up with drinking from time to time. Probably because it's not really thought of as a hard drug or that big of a deal you know? I've found it easier to get away from drinking by not having contact with the old crowd I use to and picking up other healthy habits and short term and long term goal setting. I drank two weeks ago and have been clean since then and really haven't been to tempted. I know it will probably be hard with the holidays coming up though. It's gonna take a lot of self control.

Thanks for commenting Trish : )

 

[madison1101]

Hi Trish!

Thank you for your response and congrats on being sober for ten months! I've been to AA a few times usually with my dad (He isn't an alcoholic just goes for support.) and I really haven't talked much just listened. Personally I prefer one on one therapy to a group type therapy so I tend to just listen if I go. There is an AA group that meets at a church in my town probably have been like 4 times. Right now I go to therapy and meet with an addiction specialist once a week for each. I did a one month inpatient rehab in late august early September that was pretty eye opening not to mention painful because of my withdrawal to opiate based pain killers.

Ya I've kicked my cocaine and pain killer habits but I still slip up with drinking from time to time. Probably because it's not really thought of as a hard drug or that big of a deal you know? I've found it easier to get away from drinking by not having contact with the old crowd I use to and picking up other healthy habits and short term and long term goal setting. I drank two weeks ago and have been clean since then and really haven't been to tempted. I know it will probably be hard with the holidays coming up though. It's gonna take a lot of self control.

Thanks for commenting Trish : )

I have been in individual therapy for 21 years. I am dual diagnosed. My therapist kicks my butt if I do not attend AA. AA is not group therapy. It is a program of learning and support. Group therapy has a professional guiding the discussion. AA has ordinary alcoholics leading the group, but usually there is no crosstalk, or feedback.

AA is more than the group. It is also the 12 Steps. Get a sponsor and start working the steps.

Alcohol is a drug that is as deadly as any other. People end up in jail from their drinking. The difference is it is legal.

The recovery program is in the 12 steps. Read some of the AA Big Book to learn about the disease and recoverry. It is at the AA website I gave you.

Trish

 

[Chaplain David]

Welcome to the forum. AA has worked great for me as well. I'm glad you have a counselor. They've been invaluable to me over the years. I also went through treatment several times as I had difficulty quitting on my own and I think everything: counseling, treatment, the Church, and especially AA have helped me stay sober. If I can help in any way please do not hesitate to contact me. God bless and all the best.

 

[hotsauce5000]

welcome to the forum, keep coming back.