I'll let you in on a bit of my love life (not a pity post, more of a questioning one)

[MN John]

Ok, then.

 

[itsgood]

I am also a person with no interests, no career, that sits infront of the computer, and has no hobbies and is in a pity party over my singleness

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I am also a person with no interests, no career, that sits infront of the computer, and has no hobbies and is in a pity party over my singleness

ItGood

I see your posts all over, I jhope you seek the help you need and God Bless

 

[Silver Speak]

I am also a person with no interests, no career, that sits infront of the computer, and has no hobbies and is in a pity party over my singleness

Then get out and do something Even if you don't have interests you can find some. Try new things. Bless

 

[ummidrinkcherrycoke]

Ok, then I'm back to thinking that you're offensive

And I think men who NEED to have a woman in there life are WEAK. And so do most woman.

So my advice to petrafan007 is to be your own person. If you find your own strengths women will find you strong. If you're secure in life financially, emotionally and spiritually; women will find security in you. And if you're passionate about all the things in life that you endeavor, women will see that and know that you'll probably be just as passionate about them as well.

Men - Want to be needed.
Women - Want to be wanted.(Just like cars)

 

[JPPT1974]

Well I am a woman
I want to be wanted
But not in a way that you all may think
I want to be wanted the way the Lord wants me
And that He will lead me to people like that

 

[itsgood]

Thanks Lost, I don't know what more help I should be seeking, I have Asperger's syndrome God has decided to give it to me, who am I to argue, what hope is there that I will ever get married

 

[Sirius]

19 years and i have Never gone out with a girl, im still looking, but i have no clue for what, i more of waiting for a girl to ask me, cause i assume that will be the girl that i will like, but no ask's so i wait

 

[PetraFan007]

the problem for me is a lack of true christian women around here. i know for a fact i'd of met someone by now and had a g/f. I mean I have the ability to make girls laugh, be confident around them, and "attract" them to myself (I've done it before, but the wrong women). The problem is as I said--New England is pathetic. I know hardly any women my age, and almost no single christian women to talk to or get to know. I have no problem walking up to a girl and asking her about herself, trying to get to know her, etc. But...it's just I can't even GET THE OPPORTUNITY! We need some Christian women up here!!!

 

[Diane_Windsor]

PetraFan,

You are not alone. I often think that I will never find my DH let alone my first boyfriend. To make matters worse I also find it extremely difficult to form friendships that are not one-sided I often think that my only friend is Jesus.

Diane

 

[Gardener101]

Hey, how is the situation now?

 

[plum]

good luck getting an answer on this obscure bump... he was last active on 25th October 2006

 

[Gardener101]

It's seemingly hopeless right now. There is not one single sign that I will ever find a Christian woman. NOT EVEN ONE. All the women I meet take zero interest in me, if I get that lucky chance of even meeting one. I have NO girl friends. I never really had one, save for Kat*. I've had aquaintances, but that's it. No lasting friendships that stood the test of time. I don't have the high school sweetheart. I have a few crushes, but they never went anywhere. I don't have that girl next store. I didn't have that girl childhood friend. Any girls I did meet when I was a kid took interest in me for a short while (as a friend/buddy) but nothing ever serious. I'm almost 22 and I have close to no experience with women. It's the most pathetic aspect of my life. I'm wondering if there is a reason for this.

Why do I still keep searching? Why can't I just give up? I guess I'm too lonely to give up. Something tells me I should. Then also something tells me to never give up, because someday I'll find her. Maybe I'm not supposed to find her. Maybe she is just supposed to come at the right time. Or maybe I'm supposed to look for her without fail, and when I find her it will be the fruit of my years and years of labor searching for her. But everywhere I look, I don't see her. I don't even see glimpses of her. I'm worried that I'll never find her and that I'm bound to be single for the rest of my life. Why do I fall into this way of thinking if it's a lie? Well what if it's not a lie? I know God could use me in my singleness, but I'm lonely for a reason. And if God didn't want me to find her someday, then he wouldn't have given me such a strong desire for her. I want that intimate relationship with her. I've saved myself for her all these years. No credit to myself really as I only had one or two fleeting chances of giving in to sex with a girl. Thank God I did not give in.

The only glimpses of hope I've ever seen are online. I've had some "girl friends" online, but something tells me if they ever met me in person, they wouldn't take any special interest in me whatsoever. I've searched for her online for many, many years. I really gotta give this up. The fruit of my labor in this area is non-existance. There have been so many women I met online and formed "cyber-friendships" with. Two that were willing to take a chance on me. One I foolishly rejected. I didn't admit it to her but I wasn't all that attracted to her, even though she was a beautiful person on the inside. *smacks self*. It's ok. She found the man of her dreams and I'm not one bit jealous, because I have no right to be. You know who you are. And btw you look 10x more attractive now than you did then! Also there was another girl that drove to meet me from PA. I don't really count that cuz she just got out of a 4 year relationship and was all confused and crazy and just wanted to get away and used me as an excuse. Even though she only knew me for 4 days, she came to visit...and for some reason I felt so great that finally a girl took notice in me. But she just used me...and when she left, she didn't even really talk to me. I suspected foul play, called her out on it, and she acted un-christianlike. Guess I shouldn't get involved with girls that claim to be Christian but refuse to act like one. I didn't really know better then and I was depressed for like a week. Now she's living like a heathen again and doesn't seem to take her faith seriously. There were a few others girls, which I won't mention, that I thought I had a chance with. But I was just their GAY FRIEND (thanks Mike, I owe you for that eye-opening revelation). After they moved on to another chapter in their life, or found someone new, they ditched me, because, after all, I'm just "that online guy"! And again, if they saw me walking around in person at church or wherever, they probably wouldn't have taken a second look at me.

So screw it. I want to give up. But I probably won't.

*I wonder what Kat is up to. I consider her the closest girl I ever had as a friend. But she was online. And she lived in GA (then moved to AK). We talked a lot, she wrote me letters, we voice chatted, and shared a lot of personal stories and memories. I thought she may have been the one. HA! After about 2 years of talking, she changed, and said that our relationship was based on bad motives, and that we should stop talking. It makes me mad that women think they have the right to nullify valid relationships because of their silly emotions or thoughts. I have forgiven her, but I'm still confused about that whole situation. I don't really think about it anymore. Sad that after I still went back to looking for other girls online.



But, alas, there may just be light at the end of the tunnel. Someday.

Well, I just find the OP relevant to how a lot of men feel here at the moment.

And some women, actually.

 

[Gam3rG1rl4Chr1st]

Whew. Yep. Those statments you underlined about Petra's post, Gardener......reverse those and make them say "he" and "him" instead of "she" and "her" and those could be my thoughts sometimes. I feel exactly like that at times. I'm also more of a stay-at-home kind of person. ( I know, I know, I should get out more ) And I have had online "relationships" that really weren't relationships because I come to find out that I don't really know these guys at all. I've also saved myself for my future husband. I've also been used and hurt. (I think most people have at some point)

And there are many times that I wonder to myself, "Am I bound to be single all my life?" and then shake my head and say, "I can't believe that God would give me this want just to deny me it." When you want to meet that special someone, so much of being single is a "waiting game". It makes you see that special someone in strangers on the street. Then you gotta slap yourself and get back to reality. You can't go outside day after day and think every new guy (or girl in Petra's case) could be "the one". I've done that and frankly it's very tiring. Not to mention depressing because you go out there thinking, "Maybe this will be the day I meet him!" and when you don't.....there's a huge disappointment.

Well I got pretty tired of living my life like that and I finally took a long look in the mirror and said to myself....."If God hasn't allowed me to meet my future husband yet then there must be a reason." Maybe that special guy isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe his faith isn't solid at the moment and because a relationship needs Christ as a cornerstone then God needs to work on this guy's heart a bit more first. Maybe I'm the one that isn't ready. Maybe God knows something about me that I don't. Maybe I need to work on my relationship with Him. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm preparing myself so that I can be ready when God decides to allow me to meet that one special guy. I'm concentrating on the things I do have in my life. And I'm concentrating on God, building my relationship with Him because He should be first and foremost. And I'm also praying. I'm praying for myself to be strong and I'm also praying for that special guy, whoever he is. I'm praying that God would prepare us for eachother and then allow us to meet.

It's not always easy and at times I do fall into the "Pity party" pattern. lol. But I just remember that God knows how I feel and He knows my wants because He put them there! I just have to have faith that God will take care of it for me. God bless!

 

[Gardener101]

the problem for me is a lack of true christian women around here. i know for a fact i'd of met someone by now and had a g/f. I mean I have the ability to make girls laugh, be confident around them, and "attract" them to myself (I've done it before, but the wrong women). The problem is as I said--New England is pathetic. I know hardly any women my age, and almost no single christian women to talk to or get to know. I have no problem walking up to a girl and asking her about herself, trying to get to know her, etc. But...it's just I can't even GET THE OPPORTUNITY! We need some Christian women up here!!!

I wish more CF guys were this confident.