If...

[ido]

...someone has been expressing interest in you, then suddenly stops and starts showing interest in someone else, would you still be interested if they decided to express interest in you again later on?

If yes, why?

If no, why not?

 

[gottabemore2life]

...someone has been expressing interest in you, then suddenly stops and starts showing interest in someone else, would you still be interested if they decided to express interest in you again later on?

If yes, why?

If no, why not?

Depends on the situation. If the other girl is an equally great girl (or at least, ya know, ALMOST to my caliber ) I wouldn't mind so much, especially if I hadn't given the guy a chance in the first place.

However, if things were going well with me and this guy and then he just drops me like a hotcake for some hoity toity, I would tell him to take a flying leap.

 

[jcj3803]

Tough call.

If I believe I'm Plan B and she's reverting to me since Plan A failed, I'd probably be inclined to tell her to take a hike. However, that has to be tempered with the circumstances surrounding her actions. Was it an old bf coming back and she needed to clarify her feelings? Was this somebody who she had pursued but was rejected by before? Is she playing a game? Did I do something to make her think I wasn't interested in her? Is she a cute blonde with nice cupcakes? (LOL! Gotcha!)

 

[ido]

Is she a cute blonde with nice cupcakes? (LOL! Gotcha!)

LOL Have I ever mentioned to you that my natural hair color is dark blonde?

 

[ido]

Interesting responses. This is a pretty cut and dried matter for me, personally. I'm a firm believer that if a person goes wandering off to "greener grass" there would be a good chance they would do it again if I allowed them back into my life romantically.

I have had a few guys do something like this to me and I've informed them of my zero tolerance policy when they've come schlepping back.

I guess it would matter more if you were offically dating the person and not just in the "let's get to know each other" stage - but even then, if I'm not first pick I'm not really keen about sticking around for too long.

 

[puddleoffaith]

No. If I were his ideal, he would have stuck with me to begin with. This just shows that he wants a gf and will go for the best he can get, which is subjective to time and distance.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Nope...I'm not a consolation prize! I'm the brass ring and if he isn't smart enough to see that the first time then he doesn't deserve as wonderful a prize as me

 

[jcj3803]

Ah, one more thing to consider before reacting - was the "interest" shown just flirting or more? If it was just flirting, I wouldn't be too upset if they also flirted with somebody else. If they were really throwing themself at another guy and then came back, it'd be "Adios, muchacha!"

 

[TonyCliffton]

If someone has been expressing interest in you...

Define "interest."

 

[soccerdad66]

... I'm a firm believer that if a person goes wandering off to "greener grass" there would be a good chance they would do it again if I allowed them back into my life romantically.

I'm kind of the same way, but has you mentioned, I guess it depends on what stage of the relationship it is.

Although, the older I get, the less I want to play games. And if they are that way, I can just move on. I got my son to consider too, and kids notice when you're troubled by something.

 

[BoarderDave]

Im sorry.. you are right. I have drifted away a little.. Dont give up on me..



Yeah, I personally would only because of the fact that if their interest comes back to me, then I have another chance. Who cares what happened, the point is.. they are back and interested in me now.

 

[soccerdad66]

No. If I were his ideal, he would have stuck with me to begin with. This just shows that he wants a gf and will go for the best he can get, which is subjective to time and distance.

Well, when I was 19, I didnt know what my ideal women was, but I do think most guys know what a good women is, and there's no perfect women (or man).

Although, if I was willing to leave that women to date another, I don't recall ever going back.

Nope...I'm not a consolation prize! I'm the brass ring and if he isn't smart enough to see that the first time then he doesn't deserve as wonderful a prize as me

So, is there a contest someone needs to enter for date D?

I believe that there is no "better", it's a matter of preference.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

So, is there a contest someone needs to enter for date D?

Yep! The contest of winning my heart...it's not for the weak of men - it's for the strong who know what they want and aren't afraid to step up and show it.

I believe that there is no "better", it's a matter of preference.

That may be but men (some men) have a way of making a girl feel like they are passing her over because they are looking for someone "better" someone that measures up to their ideal and in the process they can stomp on a girls heart.

I'm sure that happens to men as well but I'm a girl so I can only speak from a girl's point of view.

 

[ido]

Im sorry.. you are right. I have drifted away a little.. Dont give up on me..



Yeah, I personally would only because of the fact that if their interest comes back to me, then I have another chance. Who cares what happened, the point is.. they are back and interested in me now.

I know - you've broken my heart, Dave!



So - I have to ask - why wouldn't you worry that they would suddenly lose interest again? I would worry that a pattern to their behavior would develop and wouldn't want that kind of relationship with someone.

 

[BoarderDave]

Well I would worry about that.. however, if it's only showing interest.. then I would assume that WOULD jump around a lot.. Mine sure does..

But when they have their interest on me.. I would strike then, get a little closer, and make a relationship out of it.. Those are slightly more stable than just general interest.

 

[ido]

Ah, one more thing to consider before reacting - was the "interest" shown just flirting or more? If it was just flirting, I wouldn't be too upset if they also flirted with somebody else. If they were really throwing themself at another guy and then came back, it'd be "Adios, muchacha!"

Define "interest."

I guess it would matter more if you were offically dating the person and not just in the "let's get to know each other" stage - but even then, if I'm not first pick I'm not really keen about sticking around for too long.

 

[BoarderDave]

Ohh..

Umm.. Idk then. In that scenario.. I usually give a person a few shots. If they do it to me two or three times, I'd eventually get fed up and say forget this.

 

[ido]

Ohh..

Umm.. Idk then. In that scenario.. I usually give a person a few shots. If they do it to me two or three times, I'd eventually get fed up and say forget this.

You keep smacking yourself in the head and you're going to get a headache. lol

Yeah - IDK - anything past a handful of dates and I typically don't tolerate the vague interest stage very well. I mean, I usually can tell within the first TWO dates whether or not I want to spend time getting to know someone better. If some guy is going to leave me hanging on for very long, he's going to lose my attention.

 

[jcj3803]

That may be but men (some men) have a way of making a girl feel like they are passing her over because they are looking for someone "better" someone that measures up to their ideal and in the process they can stomp on a girls heart.

I'm sure that happens to men as well but I'm a girl so I can only speak from a girl's point of view.

Yes, it does happen to men. There's a thread running right now on whether a woman would date a guy who makes less money than she does.

Most people have "requirements". If you meet 3 out of 5 but Betsy meets 5 out of 5, Honey you're toast... (And you know darn well women do it too.)

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Yes, it does happen to men. There's a thread running right now on whether a woman would date a guy who makes less money than she does.

Most people have "requirements". If you meet 3 out of 5 but Betsy meets 5 out of 5, Honey you're toast... (And you know darn well women do it too.)

Yes, I know they do - I said that it happens to men too but I'm a GIRL so I can only speak from my perspective.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for the whole dating thing any more. I don't like hurting people and I don't like getting hurt...so there you go...