Let me put something out there for all who are skeptical about medical conditions causing depression and suicide. I used to fit this description myself. I heard of post-partum depression, and I thought that those women just needed to get a grip on things and trust the Lord, and then they would overcome any hormonal problems or whatever the problem was. As I later learned, I was being excessively judgmental. Anyway, here's what I've got to say.
I can tell you from experience that medical thing can cause such deep depressions as to make one suicidal. I had to take the drug Prednisone once, and it is a pretty common drug. It can have some bad side effects, though. It can make people very irritable, make them have mood swings, or make them depressed. When I got on it, it put me into a deep depression. This was not coincidence, because both times I had to take it, for the first couple of days, I had no will to live. I had been experiencing cancer treatment, and had endured a lot of things, and had come through it all fairly cheerfully, but that Prednisone took me apart. I have had a good upbringing, which means that it would be hard, if not impossible, to get me to a place where I would actually commit suicide. But I did have suicidal thoughts when I initially got on Prednisone. I remember praying and asking God to kill me, to let me die. I didn't want to live anymore, and I saw no purpose in being alive. Everything seemed totally hopeless, and no one and nothing could cheer me up. I would get over this after a couple of days or so, but it was terrible when I was in the middle of it. I would try to think joyful thoughts, but they didn't "take." Everything was negative.
I have had some times where I have been somewhat depressed since, or perhaps discouraged is a better word, but nothing like that. I really, sincerely wanted to die, and what do you know but that this just happened to occur right after getting on a certain medication -- and that not once, but twice. If you think the same thing couldn't happen to you, think again. (This is directed to anyone who thinks this way, like I once did.) You're not as strong as you think you are. "Oh, well, I would just keep my eyes on Jesus, and He would be my strength, and I wouldn't be suicidal no matter what kind of medical condition I had." Do you really think so? Peter also said that he would never deny Jesus, even if everyone else did. Look what happened. (Also note how Peter thought that those other disciples might be weak, but
him! he was strong!) However sure you are that you could overcome such problems, I was as much and moreso. I had been an upstanding 15-yr-old who was dedicated to the Lord, and I was also quite cocky.
Does this mean that we aren't responsible for our actions if we are medicated a certain way? To a certain extent, I would say, yes. Perhaps if we were strong enough in our faith, we would never get sick, and drugs could have no effect on us, just like that snake bite didn't hurt Paul. But if you aren't on Paul's level, and you get poisoned, and it makes you go crazy, I don't think God blames you for what you do. It gets to a point where you don't even have any control over what you do; you might say that you are sort of like a person having a seizure. God takes into account our conditions when we do something. Of course, if we are to blame for causing those conditions, such as if a person got drunk, then killed someone by reckless driving, then we are guilty for the cause, in this case getting drunk.
Am I saying that we can't overcome such medical problems with Christ's strength? No, I mentioned that Paul overcame a deadly snake bite, and we hypothetically
could do the same thing. But don't be surprised if when you get bit by a lethal snake, you die. And also don't be surprised if you ever take some mentally altering drugs (even as medication), or if you ever get some illness that causes mental instability, that you have some thoughts and feelings that you wouldn't have otherwise.
The surest way to get something like that to happen to you is to get cocky about how you'd do better than all those other people who have less faith. This is the way Peter was, and he denied Christ. I thought I would never have some kind of "medical depression," but I did. My previous thoughts of invincibility and overcoming through Christ's strength did me little good, because I thought
it couldn't happen to me.
The question arises: can miracles happen to "average" Christians, or just super ones like Paul? Well, we can have miraculous things happen in our lives, but if we start judging others just because they fared worse than we did, we probably start to see the flow from God stop. Consider when Jesus walked on the water. If we were the disciples in the boat, we would probably shake our heads when Peter was sinking and say, "That's really too bad. He lost faith. Now he will die. If you lose faith, you sink into the water and die. Peter didn't allow the Holy Spirit to work through him." Compare that to the attitude of Jesus, who just loved Peter, and helped him out of the water. Jesus asked Peter why he had little faith, basically admonishing him to do better next time, but he didn't just let him sink while saying, "Too bad. You're dead."
All of that to say, don't be judgmental of those who commit suicide. You might do the same thing if you were in their situation, even though you may be just
positive that you wouldn't. Don't go judging others just because they have a different area of weakness than you do, no matter how bad their sin. Let God judge them, and you can pray for them and edify them.
As I earlier said, this SOAPBOX post was directed to anyone who thinks, like I once did, that people feeling suicidal or who have other problems just need to get over it. It's not to you personally, pro_odeh, although it is to you if you match the description.
