- Nov 25, 2018
- 153
- 129
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Episcopalian
- Marital Status
- Single
Hi all. Prayers and blessings to everyone, hope you had a wonderful Christmas.
I am a new Christian, baptized last weekend. I came from full blown, arrogant, ignorant atheism and a very, very sinful and hedonistic lifestyle. For 12 years I was a professional alcoholic, as well as a participant in various sinful vices that I dare not mention here. This past Friday I celebrated 6 months of sobriety and have spent this time in service to others and my community. Gone are my vices and my misery, and I have only God to thank. I am pursuing education in professional mental health/addictions counseling, have done a ton of volunteer work in the field, and JUST landed a paying job as a treatment center floor staff.
Naturally, as a former atheist, and a very hardheaded one at that, I continue to struggle with my old atheist biases as those old neural pathways fire off. Old habits die hard, as do old ideas, evidently. I have dealt with it through patience, prayer, scripture, attending services, and the Christian community. This weekend, my doubts were smashed to pieces.
A friend of mine recently passed tragically. I was able, through the grace of God, to travel across the state of Oregon (9 hours in the car total, there and back) to attend her funeral and support her family. It is unlikely that this could have occurred in the throws of my addiction.
Today is what really did it. This morning, I got up, took a shower, threw on my nice church clothes, and headed out for Sunday service. My church is close to my parent's house, and I remembered they had laxatives, which I badly needed (Keto diet, lots of cheese, no fiber). So I dropped by before church. I noticed I was the only one there. My grandma, who lives there, was not in her usual spot. I had a cup of coffee and hung out downstairs for a few minutes. On a whim, I decided to go upstairs. What I found rocked my world. My grandmother was laying on the floor in my mom's office. I had never seen her in that room before. I immediately jumped into action. She told me she had fallen and was crawling to a chair to sit down. I helped her into the chair and began assessing. She seemed confused and had trouble speaking. Bad sign. Then I noticed something very, very bad. One side, and only one side, of her face was droopy while the other was normal. That means stroke. I called for an ambulance and they came sirens blazing.
I met her at the hospital, and I spent some time in prayer. The next 9 hours I spent with my family at the hospital, comforting my grandmother when we were allowed to see her. She went into surgery, and it went well. They found and removed the clot it her brain. We won't know the extent of the damage for a few days, but she will live. She is in recovery now.
What are the chances? What are the chances that me, a former Emergency Medical Technician, happened to be at the right place at the right time to catch this and get help? My family was praising me, but I don't feel I deserve any praise. I went there to get some laxatives because I was constipated. It was all God. And further, my mother who is in Mexico on vacation, told me over the phone that she trusted all medical decisions to me. In my addiction, my mom couldn't leave her wallet out, ever, much less trust me with huge decisions like this. When my grandpa (this grandma's husband) died a few years ago, I was drunk when I found out. I continued to drink that night until I blacked out, and I am to this day ashamed. This time, I was sober. This time, I was there. I have God to thank.
I don't know what else to say, but I do know, I no longer have any doubts. My grandmother is 78, and I don't blame God for her stroke; these things are a natural process of God's gift of life. But I do credit God for helping me catch it.
So the last thing, please pray for my Grandma. Her name is Barbara. We call her Bubbe.
I am a new Christian, baptized last weekend. I came from full blown, arrogant, ignorant atheism and a very, very sinful and hedonistic lifestyle. For 12 years I was a professional alcoholic, as well as a participant in various sinful vices that I dare not mention here. This past Friday I celebrated 6 months of sobriety and have spent this time in service to others and my community. Gone are my vices and my misery, and I have only God to thank. I am pursuing education in professional mental health/addictions counseling, have done a ton of volunteer work in the field, and JUST landed a paying job as a treatment center floor staff.
Naturally, as a former atheist, and a very hardheaded one at that, I continue to struggle with my old atheist biases as those old neural pathways fire off. Old habits die hard, as do old ideas, evidently. I have dealt with it through patience, prayer, scripture, attending services, and the Christian community. This weekend, my doubts were smashed to pieces.
A friend of mine recently passed tragically. I was able, through the grace of God, to travel across the state of Oregon (9 hours in the car total, there and back) to attend her funeral and support her family. It is unlikely that this could have occurred in the throws of my addiction.
Today is what really did it. This morning, I got up, took a shower, threw on my nice church clothes, and headed out for Sunday service. My church is close to my parent's house, and I remembered they had laxatives, which I badly needed (Keto diet, lots of cheese, no fiber). So I dropped by before church. I noticed I was the only one there. My grandma, who lives there, was not in her usual spot. I had a cup of coffee and hung out downstairs for a few minutes. On a whim, I decided to go upstairs. What I found rocked my world. My grandmother was laying on the floor in my mom's office. I had never seen her in that room before. I immediately jumped into action. She told me she had fallen and was crawling to a chair to sit down. I helped her into the chair and began assessing. She seemed confused and had trouble speaking. Bad sign. Then I noticed something very, very bad. One side, and only one side, of her face was droopy while the other was normal. That means stroke. I called for an ambulance and they came sirens blazing.
I met her at the hospital, and I spent some time in prayer. The next 9 hours I spent with my family at the hospital, comforting my grandmother when we were allowed to see her. She went into surgery, and it went well. They found and removed the clot it her brain. We won't know the extent of the damage for a few days, but she will live. She is in recovery now.
What are the chances? What are the chances that me, a former Emergency Medical Technician, happened to be at the right place at the right time to catch this and get help? My family was praising me, but I don't feel I deserve any praise. I went there to get some laxatives because I was constipated. It was all God. And further, my mother who is in Mexico on vacation, told me over the phone that she trusted all medical decisions to me. In my addiction, my mom couldn't leave her wallet out, ever, much less trust me with huge decisions like this. When my grandpa (this grandma's husband) died a few years ago, I was drunk when I found out. I continued to drink that night until I blacked out, and I am to this day ashamed. This time, I was sober. This time, I was there. I have God to thank.
I don't know what else to say, but I do know, I no longer have any doubts. My grandmother is 78, and I don't blame God for her stroke; these things are a natural process of God's gift of life. But I do credit God for helping me catch it.
So the last thing, please pray for my Grandma. Her name is Barbara. We call her Bubbe.
