If God wills it?

[quietpraiyze]

I think since the "church" gives attention, nurtures and cares for marriage, that they should do the same for Singleness. People come from all different walks of life, many who never received any instruction on how to live life from their family of origin; let alone a Born Again life. Being a Single person in Christ is different than being Single in the world. To presume that Single people in Christ know the difference has caused a great deal of unnecessary pain for some.

I would think for those of us who are older that we can be honest about this as well as how age may shift desires and priorities. Singleness when you're 18 is not the same when you're 30 or when you're 50+. So I do wonder if that as well as race, gender, class, demographics, if people have been married before etc. affects how much a person is desiring a mate and if they're even seeking God for a mate.

Single people in Christ are a group that is very vast with all kinds of different needs. I think at the very least going over how people met their mates in the OT/NT would encourage many Single people. Some Single people might start to see that they have more options than what they thought...

 

[quietpraiyze]

An example of what to look for.

Goodness,kindness willingness to go the extra yard or mile,
without being asked.

Thank you!

 

[bèlla]

The church can provide supplemental instruction but the primary teachings should occur at home. That was the practice in the past. Parents didn't depend on the pastor or youth group to prepare their children for marriage. If someone wasn't instructed at home they can work with mature married Christians, take classes, and utilize reading materials to add to their knowledge.

We learn how to relate as children. That isn't a skill you develop as an adult. It's honed through familial connections and peers. You learn how to deal with differences, respect boundaries, read body language, communicate, and so on. You encounter good and bad too. It provides a barometer for future interactions.

Singleness isn't wholly religious. Irrespective of faith. Your companion expects practical skills, experiences, and a level of maturity that isn't related to religion. Nor is faith the primary reason couples part. Whether they're married or not. They split over everyday problems.

Neglecting the qualities of healthy relationships will extend your singleness. It's important to take a balanced approach and nurture the spirit and person. Meet your challenges head on and seek support when needed.

I don't think spiritual ignorance is the reason many haven't found companions. Personal stumbling blocks are the biggest culprit. Whether that's presentation, communication, confidence, or other challenges. Working through them in communion with others who've experienced and overcome the same is helpful.

Many would benefit from mentors. Their experience and encouragement would be a blessing. I've mentored in the past. You see things the person can't or is unwilling to face. That's usually the problem. Connections along those lines would make a sizable dent in singleness.

~bella