Idiot’s Guide to the Ten Commandments
1.You shall have no other gods before Me.
This means anything you get obsessed with. It can include girlfriends, cars, football and the board game “Risk”. Also it can mean another God for real. So like if you worship the devil, that would count.
2.You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
This does not mean that sculpting is out in art class. You can still make your elvis carven image, as long as it does not take the place of God. Art=good and worshiping art=breaking commandment 2
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
When you hit your finger with a hammer, try substituting your own name. How would you like it if someone shouted OH BOB!! Every time something bad happened?
4.Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Sundays are a time for football, wait…I mean church.
5.Honor your father and your mother.
Most likely both of your parents could take you out of this life just as easy as they brought you in.
6.You shall not murder.
If you commit murder but do not get convicted, it still counts.
7.You shall not commit adultery.
If your wife does not know about it, it still counts. If she does know about it, then tell her to refer to commandment number 6.
8.You shall not steal.
This commandment can be broken by breaking commandment 7and 10.
Paws off the goods unless they be yours.
9.You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Don't put the wrap on someone else,
Who smelt it delt it
10.You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
If your neighbor has everything you want, I would suggest moving in with him. If this is not an option, be grateful for your own wife and donkey.
1.You shall have no other gods before Me.
This means anything you get obsessed with. It can include girlfriends, cars, football and the board game “Risk”. Also it can mean another God for real. So like if you worship the devil, that would count.
2.You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
This does not mean that sculpting is out in art class. You can still make your elvis carven image, as long as it does not take the place of God. Art=good and worshiping art=breaking commandment 2
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
When you hit your finger with a hammer, try substituting your own name. How would you like it if someone shouted OH BOB!! Every time something bad happened?
4.Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Sundays are a time for football, wait…I mean church.
5.Honor your father and your mother.
Most likely both of your parents could take you out of this life just as easy as they brought you in.
6.You shall not murder.
If you commit murder but do not get convicted, it still counts.
7.You shall not commit adultery.
If your wife does not know about it, it still counts. If she does know about it, then tell her to refer to commandment number 6.
8.You shall not steal.
This commandment can be broken by breaking commandment 7and 10.
Paws off the goods unless they be yours.
9.You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Don't put the wrap on someone else,
Who smelt it delt it
10.You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
If your neighbor has everything you want, I would suggest moving in with him. If this is not an option, be grateful for your own wife and donkey.
