Identity crisis

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I have depression which affects the way I feel and think. Now I am on natural medication which makes me feel alot more positive. I don't know what my personality is really like because its either affected by depression or by the meds. Does anyone else feel like that?

 

[Frangible]

Your personality is never static-- it's a changing, organic entity. It was very different when you were born, when you were a child, now, and will continue to change throughout your life, throughout each day.

You aren't your personality, so don't think of it as an identity crisis. No matter how it changes, from a child, to depression, to medication, to sleeping, to prayer, to old age, you are still "you".

Personality is really nothing more than a behavioral pattern. That is, actions have we performed in the past, which influence the decisions we make now.

But you're more than a behavioral pattern. Which isn't to say it's not important. But you are truly you, throughout it all. I wouldn't say being more positive or negative affects your identity at all-- I think that remains constant, unchanging-- but it affects your actions and how they benefit yourself, the people you love, and others around you. I'd say being more positive is being all that you are.

I once read an autobiography of a man who was told by his brother he was evil, after saying something insulting. He took this very hard. He related it to his girlfriend, who said "maybe you are". After that, he began to deeply struggle with his identity. He saw himself as evil, a blight on the world, not able to help others. Soon, his relationship with his girlfriend ended. But months later, one day he realized he wasn't evil. Nor was he good. He was simply, he, and capable of both good and evil. He could never be fully one or the other, but he could make choices and was not defined by them. He then returned to his brother, who was still angry with him. He told his brother, "Thank you for telling me I was evil. Because of that, I know that I am not." After that, his brother forgave him.

I hope this helps in some day, and that you have a good day.

 

[amused]

Yeah I know what you mean. I felt the same and still do to an extent. I dont know how to explain it. I think its because I didn 't have to pick apart everything and analyse it to the point of my brain exploding. I felt happier and ok with so much that I wasnt ok with before. Somehow that translated in my head to me not being me. I think it was me, I just needed a little help to find the happier me.

If your meds are effecting you they are meant to make your funky chemical levels in your brain level out or something so who you become while on them is you. It's just strange to be different sometimes.

cheers

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I think that my character comes out in my personality so doesn't that mean that my personality is alot of who I am? Hope that makes sense. How I react to things in some way defines who I am.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Yeah I know what you mean. I felt the same and still do to an extent. I dont know how to explain it. I think its because I didn 't have to pick apart everything and analyse it to the point of my brain exploding. I felt happier and ok with so much that I wasnt ok with before. Somehow that translated in my head to me not being me. I think it was me, I just needed a little help to find the happier me.

If your meds are effecting you they are meant to make your funky chemical levels in your brain level out or something so who you become while on them is you. It's just strange to be different sometimes.

cheers

I'm just so used to behaving in a certain way and I've never been one of those people who are happy all the time so now my meds are making me happy even when I'm also feeling anxious or angry. Its weird. Just before an exam today I was feeling very nervous but I was happy too. Do other people's meds affect them to that degree?

 

[Frangible]

I think that my character comes out in my personality so doesn't that mean that my personality is alot of who I am? Hope that makes sense. How I react to things in some way defines who I am.

That's true. I just meant since how you react to things and feel always changes, if you think it should be a certain way and it changes, you shouldn't necessarily get worried, since change is natural.

I'm just so used to behaving in a certain way and I've never been one of those people who are happy all the time so now my meds are making me happy even when I'm also feeling anxious or angry. Its weird. Just before an exam today I was feeling very nervous but I was happy too. Do other people's meds affect them to that degree?

Hey, nothing wrong with being happy! Could there have been a reason for it other than the medication?

If not, sometimes medication can induce hypomania depending on the individual, which sounds in a vague way like what you've mentioned. If reading that link sounds familiar to you, you might want to mention it to your doctor.

I had something similar on medication briefly, but it was dependant on what was going on in my life; I remember when a friend dropped by from out of town, it seemed like one of the best days in my life, even though I knew rationally it was good, but not that good

Anyway, main thing I wanted to say was... no matter what you feel, you're still "you". Through the bad and the good.

 

[fieldmouse3]

I think I understand. I find myself wondering what I'd be like now if I didn't have to deal with depression. I was a teenager when this started, and I'm 25 now. People change a lot in that amount of time, and I can't help but wonder what the grown up, non-depressed me will be like.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

That's true. I just meant since how you react to things and feel always changes, if you think it should be a certain way and it changes, you shouldn't necessarily get worried, since change is natural.



Hey, nothing wrong with being happy! Could there have been a reason for it other than the medication?

If not, sometimes medication can induce hypomania depending on the individual, which sounds in a vague way like what you've mentioned. If reading that link sounds familiar to you, you might want to mention it to your doctor.

I had something similar on medication briefly, but it was dependant on what was going on in my life; I remember when a friend dropped by from out of town, it seemed like one of the best days in my life, even though I knew rationally it was good, but not that good

Anyway, main thing I wanted to say was... no matter what you feel, you're still "you". Through the bad and the good.

As hard as I've tried to change in the past I could never seem to change so its just surprising to hear that our personality does change. At least there's still hope that I'll be a better person.
I'm not a very optimistic person so I think it can only be the medication that's making me happy. Its much better then being depressed but it can get irritating, there is such a thing as being too happy although I don't think I have hypomania.

 

[Darrell2006]

I have depression which affects the way I feel and think. Now I am on natural medication which makes me feel alot more positive. I don't know what my personality is really like because its either affected by depression or by the meds. Does anyone else feel like that?

First I would be interested in knowing what natural medication your on? Secondly we are both spiritual and physical beings, and we live in a spiritual and physical world that effects our spirit, growth, feelings and actions. Its just my opinion but I think when we go through alot of change and growth, it can feel unusual, I wouldnt get caught up in psychology terms like identity crisis, it's my opininion that these terms cause more confusion than resolution.

 

[Frangible]

As hard as I've tried to change in the past I could never seem to change so its just surprising to hear that our personality does change. At least there's still hope that I'll be a better person.

And if you did not wish to be a better person in the past, then you have changed already. From such intent comes thought, then speech and action. But in my opinion better isn't a goal you reach. Better is having that intent in your mind, and applying it to whatever you do. It is, simply, adding love. Patience instead of annoyance, aggravation and anger. Love instead of hatred. Charity instead of attachment and greed. In this, every moment is a test, a lesson, an experience. When faced with a decision, how do we act? When a thought or emotion we consider bad arises, how do we deal with it? Do we shift away from it, or allow it to control us? Some of this is not easy, and I certainly fail at it myself quite often, but I think the true manifestation of better is always in the present, now, with whatever circumstances we have, which are never optimal.

I'm not a very optimistic person

By saying "I am an optimist" or "I am a pessimist", you limit your thinking and behavior, and when you lose the state you identify with -- and you will, because they are not permanent -- you experience the suffering of change. In reality, you are capable of both, and you are neither, and neither is you.

Ok, enough preaching .

so I think it can only be the medication that's making me happy.

It's a possibility, but is pretty rare in the clinical trial data for antidepressant medication. If indeed the medication is triggering it, you could talk to your doctor and he could make changes to try to reduce or eliminate this side effect. I'm probably just being optimistic, but I'd like to think you could've made changes on your own here too resulting in greater happiness for yourself.

Its much better then being depressed but it can get irritating, there is such a thing as being too happy although I don't think I have hypomania.

Is it intrinsically irritating, or irritating because you think you shouldn't feel happy, but should feel a different way instead? (ok ok, enough metaphysics of dualism for now )

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

First I would be interested in knowing what natural medication your on? Secondly we are both spiritual and physical beings, and we live in a spiritual and physical world that effects our spirit, growth, feelings and actions. Its just my opinion but I think when we go through alot of change and growth, it can feel unusual, I wouldnt get caught up in psychology terms like identity crisis, it's my opininion that these terms cause more confusion than resolution.

All good points, I'd like to be able to describe myself to somebody in definite terms but I guess other than saying what my likes and dislikes are, everything else changes too much. I like putting things into boxes so its hard when I can't define myself in specific terms. I hope some of that makes sense to somebody.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

And if you did not wish to be a better person in the past, then you have changed already. From such intent comes thought, then speech and action. But in my opinion better isn't a goal you reach. Better is having that intent in your mind, and applying it to whatever you do. It is, simply, adding love. Patience instead of annoyance, aggravation and anger. Love instead of hatred. Charity instead of attachment and greed. In this, every moment is a test, a lesson, an experience. When faced with a decision, how do we act? When a thought or emotion we consider bad arises, how do we deal with it? Do we shift away from it, or allow it to control us? Some of this is not easy, and I certainly fail at it myself quite often, but I think the true manifestation of better is always in the present, now, with whatever circumstances we have, which are never optimal.



By saying "I am an optimist" or "I am a pessimist", you limit your thinking and behavior, and when you lose the state you identify with -- and you will, because they are not permanent -- you experience the suffering of change. In reality, you are capable of both, and you are neither, and neither is you.

Ok, enough preaching .



It's a possibility, but is pretty rare in the clinical trial data for antidepressant medication. If indeed the medication is triggering it, you could talk to your doctor and he could make changes to try to reduce or eliminate this side effect. I'm probably just being optimistic, but I'd like to think you could've made changes on your own here too resulting in greater happiness for yourself.



Is it intrinsically irritating, or irritating because you think you shouldn't feel happy, but should feel a different way instead? (ok ok, enough metaphysics of dualism for now )

Dealing with bad emotions is something I definitely have to seriously work on.
When somebody keeps telling me to stop being negative its hard to think that I can be positive and generally I assume the worst will happen in a situation but I must stop letting that define me.
Maybe its irritating because I'm not used to being happy and its unusual for me.
I went off the meds for a couple of weeks because I forgot to take them and I noticed a big difference in my behaviour and outlook on life. I could focus so much better when I was on them and was generally more relaxed and optimistic.

 

[Frangible]

Dealing with bad emotions is something I definitely have to seriously work on.

The hardest part for me is being aware it is happening, and not getting carried away with them. Which is easy to do.

When somebody keeps telling me to stop being negative its hard to think that I can be positive and generally I assume the worst will happen in a situation but I must stop letting that define me.

That can be very hard to pull out of, depending on what the situation is. For me, the hardest is not knowing the outcome of something I think will bring me happiness. Rationally, I tell myself I don't need it to be happy, that worrying about it just makes me suffer, but some of my mental constructs about the way things "should be" are pretty ingrained The hardest to let go of are those that really are fundamental to my well-being, just not necessarily in the form I have in mind, though it's the only one I know so it's hard to remember there are alternatives.

Maybe its irritating because I'm not used to being happy and its unusual for me.

To be unhappy with being happy and happier with being unhappy is quite a dilemma! As Ram Dass once said, "to feel joy and suffering at the same time is wisdom."

I went off the meds for a couple of weeks because I forgot to take them and I noticed a big difference in my behaviour and outlook on life. I could focus so much better when I was on them and was generally more relaxed and optimistic.

So what do you regret the most about the medication? And what do you regret the most about not taking it?

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I'm not happy being unhappy, its just that being happy is something I have to get used to.

I don't regret taking the medicine. If I hadn't stopped it for that period my life would have been easier during a difficult time.

 

[Amin]

I have depression which affects the way I feel and think. Now I am on natural medication which makes me feel alot more positive. I don't know what my personality is really like because its either affected by depression or by the meds. Does anyone else feel like that?

Hi T.
I have this wonderful friend that has helped me to see a glimmer of light. But i still have days when i want to be like i used to be before i became depressed.I know that the way i feel sometimes leaves me wondering; Is it the medicine, or is it the depression? The truth for me is, I'm not sure i can tell unless i were to stop the medicine for a while. So i asked my
doctor. She told me i would feel worse without the medicine.
Sometimes i wonder whether or not that's true. So the battle of questions continues. I do think it's almost a normal thing to ask yourself. Some days i feel it's the depression, others, i think it's the medicine. The one big problem with medicine for depression is, you don't know if it will work, or not. It's a game of chance. You keep trying things until you find something that works. So, all said and done, it makes me wonder too. It's not any fun to have to ask yourself those questions. Unless you feel a definite difference, the question of ; Is it the medicine or me, will probably cause anyone to ask that same question.
Chuck.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Thanks Chuck
I've been feeling more like myself lately and the medicine doesn't seemed to have had such a great effect. I haven't been feeling as badly as I did when I stopped taking the medicine though. I'm still not sure if this is the depressed me or the real me but at least its something resembling familiarity.

 

[Amin]

Thanks Chuck
I've been feeling more like myself lately and the medicine doesn't seemed to have had such a great effect. I haven't been feeling as badly as I did when I stopped taking the medicine though. I'm still not sure if this is the depressed me or the real me but at least its something resembling familiarity.

You're welcome T.
The thing i like about your character is that your willing to help, and to be honest in your answers. What ever you find your personality is, you're one of a kind T. and no-one else can be you. I find you to be a bit of okay.
Chuck.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

You're welcome T.
The thing i like about your character is that your willing to help, and to be honest in your answers. What ever you find your personality is, you're one of a kind T. and no-one else can be you. I find you to be a bit of okay.
Chuck.

Thank you Chuck.
I can be a selfish and demanding b*tch at times too so I have my faults.
T.

 

[Amin]

Thank you Chuck.
I can be a selfish and demanding b*tch at times too so I have my faults.
T.

Hi T,
We all have our faults. I don't think anyone is exempt from that. At least you can see that. Some people think they have none at all.
Chuck.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi T,
We all have our faults. I don't think anyone is exempt from that. At least you can see that. Some people think they have none at all.
Chuck.

Good point. I just have to be even more aware of it and try to stop it.