I have sufficient reason to believe that my grandpa (now dead) abused me sexually as an infant. I'd like not to go into the reasons why. But how do I approach my family about these suspicions?
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Ideas?
- Thread starter CShephard53
- Start date
drich0150
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- Mar 16, 2008
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First you must ask yourself to what end? You'll never be able to resolve anything with the Man. What are you looking to gain from walking down this painful path... Is it really worth it to you and the family... How much can you actually remember? Are you looking to bring peace and tranquility to turbulent time in your past or are you looking to feed a fire?
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Elijah2
No weapons formed against me will prosper.
Mate, there are many who have thought this and have experienced this, and the only way to take that land back from the enemy is to forgive them.
Even though you are not sure, then what good is it going to do, particularly if your parents won't talk about it or acknowledge whether it was so.
Forgiveness is the greatest part of the Shield of Faith, and by using the two-edge sword you can take that concern from the enemy and give it our Lord Jesus Christ.
So forgive your grandfather.
Usually I lead a person with this problem in this sort of prayer.
Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and Lord, I believe that my grandfather may have molested me while I was very young. Lord this belief of mine is causing me anxiety and much doubt in my own faith, and respect for my grandfather.
I ask You, Lord Jesus Christ that if my grandfather did molest me, then I now forgive him from my heart and I love him, and I ask you Lord to forgive me if I am wrong, and release me from my doubt and anxiety, in Jesus' Name.
Be blessed in Jesus' Name.
Even though you are not sure, then what good is it going to do, particularly if your parents won't talk about it or acknowledge whether it was so.
Forgiveness is the greatest part of the Shield of Faith, and by using the two-edge sword you can take that concern from the enemy and give it our Lord Jesus Christ.
So forgive your grandfather.
Usually I lead a person with this problem in this sort of prayer.
Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and Lord, I believe that my grandfather may have molested me while I was very young. Lord this belief of mine is causing me anxiety and much doubt in my own faith, and respect for my grandfather.
I ask You, Lord Jesus Christ that if my grandfather did molest me, then I now forgive him from my heart and I love him, and I ask you Lord to forgive me if I am wrong, and release me from my doubt and anxiety, in Jesus' Name.
Be blessed in Jesus' Name.
Upvote
0
Elijah2
No weapons formed against me will prosper.
Mate, there are many who have thought this and have experienced this, and the only way to take that land back from the enemy is to forgive them.
Even though you are not sure, then what good is it going to do, particularly if your parents won't talk about it or acknowledge whether it was so.
Forgiveness is the greatest part of the Shield of Faith, and by using the two-edge sword you can take that concern from the enemy and give it our Lord Jesus Christ.
So forgive your grandfather.
Usually I lead a person with this problem in this sort of prayer.
Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and Lord, I believe that my grandfather may have molested me while I was very young. Lord this belief of mine is causing me anxiety and much doubt in my own faith, and respect for my grandfather.
I ask You, Lord Jesus Christ that if my grandfather did molest me, then I now forgive him from my heart and I love him, and I ask you Lord to forgive me if I am wrong, and release me from my doubt and anxiety, in Jesus' Name.
Be blessed in Jesus' Name.
Even though you are not sure, then what good is it going to do, particularly if your parents won't talk about it or acknowledge whether it was so.
Forgiveness is the greatest part of the Shield of Faith, and by using the two-edge sword you can take that concern from the enemy and give it our Lord Jesus Christ.
So forgive your grandfather.
Usually I lead a person with this problem in this sort of prayer.
Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and Lord, I believe that my grandfather may have molested me while I was very young. Lord this belief of mine is causing me anxiety and much doubt in my own faith, and respect for my grandfather.
I ask You, Lord Jesus Christ that if my grandfather did molest me, then I now forgive him from my heart and I love him, and I ask you Lord to forgive me if I am wrong, and release me from my doubt and anxiety, in Jesus' Name.
Be blessed in Jesus' Name.
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The brain knows how much confusion it can handle at a time, and will either spread it out thinly or shut it out until it's capable of sorting.
It's so hard to have these memories come up in adulthood, when there's nothing you can do about it. But maybe it was grace on you that it came later, because he would have denied it and that would create even more pain.
I have friends who buried traumas like this, that didn't surface until adulthood. Their families were outraged -- not that the abuser got away with what they did, but that the victims would accuse people they loved of such a horrible crime! It was very painful for them to increase the victimization, having the people they relied on refuse to see the possibility.
It would be helpful to start talking with people who are totally outside of the situation, who have no knowledge of the man. There are probably support groups around, where people can talk safely about similar situations.
The nature of abuse predictably involves...
- intimidation into keeping secrets
- the victim made to feel they are the one to blame
- the protection of socially respectable people
Forgiveness is important for your own health, but if a crime has been committed, then it's okay to sort out the facts and investigate, hear feedback, and hopefully hear someone's compassion over the situation. It might never come from your family, but hopefully it will.
You might toss hints around when your family is together, to see if any cousins or siblings had similar experiences. Nothing blatant... just something light to test the waters.
It's so hard to have these memories come up in adulthood, when there's nothing you can do about it. But maybe it was grace on you that it came later, because he would have denied it and that would create even more pain.
I have friends who buried traumas like this, that didn't surface until adulthood. Their families were outraged -- not that the abuser got away with what they did, but that the victims would accuse people they loved of such a horrible crime! It was very painful for them to increase the victimization, having the people they relied on refuse to see the possibility.
It would be helpful to start talking with people who are totally outside of the situation, who have no knowledge of the man. There are probably support groups around, where people can talk safely about similar situations.
The nature of abuse predictably involves...
- intimidation into keeping secrets
- the victim made to feel they are the one to blame
- the protection of socially respectable people
Forgiveness is important for your own health, but if a crime has been committed, then it's okay to sort out the facts and investigate, hear feedback, and hopefully hear someone's compassion over the situation. It might never come from your family, but hopefully it will.
You might toss hints around when your family is together, to see if any cousins or siblings had similar experiences. Nothing blatant... just something light to test the waters.
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some of your family won't want to hear that, so be careful who you talk to about that, especially at first, maybe share it with a family member you really trust. maybe you can even try to look up your grandfather on the internet and see if anybody else has talked about him like that, you never know, I've heard of others who found out family victims from the internet, or maybe also check his name through the registered sex offender database (could be nothing there though if he was never convicted for anything).
and if you have any doubts, others definitely will, so be careful about saying something like that, just because that kind of thing often comes with silence and confusion, people don't like to talk about it but if its true, it helps healing to talk
and if you have any doubts, others definitely will, so be careful about saying something like that, just because that kind of thing often comes with silence and confusion, people don't like to talk about it but if its true, it helps healing to talk
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