Ideal Spouse

[KeilCoppes]

But fundamentally (esp. in terms of worldview, theology, and interest/knowledge of such things....also experiences to some degree....ie i could not imagine myself with someone over 8 or 9 yrs older.... I think we should have more in common than not.

The most fundamental things are where it's at, and they bridge other things. As for the rest, wait 15 years and then who knows where you'll be?

Take care. -Keil

 

[MrDude]

The only three things I could ask for in a woman are
1. She is a Christian
2. She is physically attractive (I suppose I'm shallow)
3. She likes Batman

 

[Tuffguy]

I need an extrovert and someone that can communicate openly, freely and without worrying about the consequences. Introverts drive me nuts because 50% of the time i can't really tell what they are thinking. When you ask them what they are thinking they take lots of time to gather their thoughts in order to express themselves well. I'm impatient and this drives me nuts. I always have my thoughts on the tip of my tougue ready to come out.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I need an extrovert and someone that can communicate openly, freely and without worrying about the consequences. Introverts drive me nuts because 50% of the time i can't really tell what they are thinking. When you ask them what they are thinking they take lots of time to gather their thoughts in order to express themselves well. I'm impatient and this drives me nuts. I always have my thoughts on the tip of my tougue ready to come out.

Ahhh so you're with me, that I's are best with other I's, and E's with other E's.

The most fundamental things are where it's at, and they bridge other things. As for the rest, wait 15 years and then who knows where you'll be?

Haha yes, exactly... 'cause the littler things are easily subject to change... foundational temperament characteristics and values, to a greater degree, are not.

And I'd hope to have a marriage that'd last the next 15 years

 

[waterbear]

Wouldn't narrow terms be more constraining?

I meant that when people define themselves as their greater selves, then they leave less room for adjusting. Example, I have two notions of myself - one internal and one external. The internal notion is essentially "that which has choice" the external notion includes my physical self, segments of my mind which are denyed choice, my history, my personality, etc. - essentially myself as society sees me. I'm still me insofar as my internal self is perserved at some level, my external self since I don't completely think of it as me can be adjusted. By narrowing my notion of self, I can broaden the attributes of myself that I can change - bleh.

Also, people are too accepting of their faults as part of who they are. Whatever goes on in your mind over a sustained period of time does so by your own choices, if you don't like something about yourself, change it.

It would be nice if we could just get rid of all our weaknesses, but that isn't going to be fully completed until heaven. And it really would be easier if when a hard time comes for one person the other can be strong for them rather than both of them falling apart at the same time.

A weakness is defined by the self ultimately. It would seem that both partners would idealy have identical notions of weakness then, and both be working to resolve these weaknesses. I think an identical spouse could actually have the exact same "wants" yet have different thought processes (approaches) due (I think) to doubts/undefined threads of perfection.

 

[KeilCoppes]

A weakness is defined by the self ultimately. It would seem that both partners would idealy have identical notions of weakness then, and both be working to resolve these weaknesses. I think an identical spouse could actually have the exact same "wants" yet have different thought processes (approaches) due (I think) to doubts/undefined threads of perfection.

I have to chuckle and smile - it's much easier to be philosophical when you're younger (and I do enjoy being philosophical myself from time to time).... However I have the tickling feeling that those days will come when you will find you and your wife up at different times, and surely from time to time down together, whether it's diaper time, or the 'frig door breaks, or simply exhausted together. And then there are the times when she finds philosphical exasperating and just wants someone to listen and understand how she feels. It's not so philosophical then!

Make sure you build in a hearty dose of friendship, togetherness, and laughter at yourselves, and a regular habit of just kicking back and relaxing together before those times come! - a brother :^)

 

[Laurel Crowned]

My ideal spouse:

Like me but has enough of a difference to keep things interesting
Strong in the areas I am weak
Kind
Gentle
Strong believer in God
Knows how to treat a guy right.

I don't need to dream anymore because I've found her.

Awwww! Gareth, I love you so much.

My ideal Spouse:

1). believes in God and is seeking a deeper relationship with him.
2) Funny
3) Patient
4) Tender hearted
5). Caring/Giving
6) Intelligent and thoughtful
7) Enjoys our differences

 

[Thithy]

Oh please no. I need someone more organized than me. Someone that can make decisions. Someone to plan things. Not that I can't, I just would prefer not to. I'm easy, and am happy doing almost anything, that's why I need someone else with the drive to plan things.

However, they would need to have a love for God (like me). They would need to have a love for themselves.(like me) They need to be self confident. (like me) I don't think I would like someone who didn't have much self esteem. I could see that causing problems. We would need similar ideals and morals.

But I don't think I would like someone exactly like me. I almost wonder if there was another me if I would be best friends with myself, or it I would hate myself?

 

[Grimace]

Would your ideal spouse be like you in every way except gender and appearance - why or why not?

No! Having some differences keeps things interesting. I'd like someone who is somewhat similar to me, but I don't want to marry a male clone

 

[desi]

I settled for a woman who more or less fit the bill in Proverbs.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Oh please no. I need someone more organized than me. Someone that can make decisions. Someone to plan things. Not that I can't, I just would prefer not to.

That's the perspective in a husband-wife relationship. The wife's advantage is that she doesn't have to carry the load herself, not that she can't.