Ideal Spouse

waterbear · Aug 23, 2004

Would your ideal spouse be like you in every way except gender and appearance - why or why not?

carine · Aug 23, 2004

Same interests ideally as me eg a love for nature and christian music
But Id like someone more prayerful( I am prayerful) and someone more mature in their christian walk so that they can encourage me and cause the man is supposed to be the leader so I could respect him more if he were a more mature christian. I couldnt accept someone less prayerful or less spiritually mature as I would see that as a step back and it would hamper my growth..

bkg · Aug 23, 2004

waterbear said:
Would your ideal spouse be like you in every way except gender and appearance - why or why not?

No way on God's Green Earth would I want my spouse to be like me in every way. I'm boring, lazy, lack personality, am not very dynamic, pretty lame... and I have a Goatie...

One of the most wonderful things about a spouse is often the first thing that we forget is so wonderful: That he/she is NOT exactly like we are!!! At first it's so wonderful - we learn so much, we love the differences. Then later in live we start to get annoyed by them. Why? 'Cause we forget that it's those differences (often) that caused us to fall in love in the first place.

plum · Aug 23, 2004

Heck no he wouldn't be just like me. We'd go crazy!
My boyfriend and I are so different, but we have the same core: We love the Lord and we love each other. We kind of balance each other out in most of our qualities. I'm more planning-goal oriented and he's more "hey I know what I want but I'm not gonna plan out every move".
He's a poet/journalist and I'm a (non)fiction writer.
He cooks. I don't.
He's more intense in situations and I'm more calm.

It's all gravy when God's at the center!

Sketcher · Aug 23, 2004

Heck no, we'd kill each other.

hischildsindik · Aug 23, 2004

My ideal spouse... the one God has for me.

Living4Him03 · Aug 23, 2004

I don't know. I just pray that God will bless me with a husband someday. I suppose he will be whatever is best for me. I don't want a divorce, I know that much.

KeilCoppes · Aug 23, 2004

Ideal isn't even on the plate - I'm looking for a spouse that exists and exists before God.

"I'm spending my wife's food budget since she hasn't bothered to show up yet!"

waterbear · Aug 23, 2004

Well, my ideal spouse would be identical to me - gender and appearance excluded. My reasoning:

- Equivalent values is obviously ideal.
- Equivalent personality would facilate understanding and personality can relate to values.
- Equivalent interests would encourage growth together
- I enjoy lots of time alone, so I won't be bored with an identical spouse.
- If I like a mannerism or ability, I will make a point of having that mannerism or ability. Thus a spouse to complement me doesn't make sense.
- A spouse closer to my notion of perfection than myself would, by virtue of the previous statement, not exist for long - I'd establish parity. Thus a spouse as a leader cannot exist.

SDSUMarcus01 · Aug 23, 2004

fishstix · Aug 24, 2004

waterbear said:
Would your ideal spouse be like you in every way except gender and appearance - why or why not?

Nope. If two spouses are alike in every way that would mean that they would have the same weaknesses. That would make it really hard for them to support each other because they would often both be struggling at the same time instead of one being able to stay strong in the situation to help support the other. I think some similarities are a good thing, such as values like someone already mentioned. Some similar interests are important too although it's good to have some unique ones as well so that each person gets to have some time on their own. As far as personality goes, I think they should be similar enough that one isn't always walking all over the other or anything like that but different enough that each can sort of moderate/tone down any extremes or negative personality traits that may exist in the other rather than multiplying them.

Aussie_Gareth · Aug 24, 2004

My ideal spouse:

Like me but has enough of a difference to keep things interesting
Strong in the areas I am weak
Kind
Gentle
Strong believer in God
Knows how to treat a guy right.

I don't need to dream anymore because I've found her.

KeilCoppes · Aug 24, 2004

If she were me, why would I marry her? It would be like talking to myself.

Differences = personality = interest = resonance...

waterbear · Aug 24, 2004

I usually have the best conversations with myself lol. I still don't agree with the balanced personality arguments, if some feature of your personality is problemantic - get rid of it. People constrain themselves by defining themselves in such broad terms ...

fishstix · Aug 24, 2004

waterbear said:
I usually have the best conversations with myself lol. I still don't agree with the balanced personality arguments, if some feature of your personality is problemantic - get rid of it. People constrain themselves by defining themselves in such broad terms ...

Wouldn't narrow terms be more constraining?

It would be nice if we could just get rid of all our weaknesses, but that isn't going to be fully completed until heaven. And it really would be easier if when a hard time comes for one person the other can be strong for them rather than both of them falling apart at the same time.

jdkearns · Aug 24, 2004

A relationship must have certain pillars; i.e. equally yoked, vision, direction, etc.

But ask yourself:
Where is the challenge that is no easy victory and rejoices in the pain of having strove and attained, and cherishes the other's heart as the treasure?
Where is the mystery that makes the other so special, interesting, and leaves you curiously excited?
Where is the desire that my life be challenged by another's in such a way that I can not continue being the same pathetic, immature, selfish, and narrow person I once was and still am?

We are each fearfully and wonderfully made. We have the depths of that to discover in one another.

<>< JD

IDOXLR8 · Aug 24, 2004

I would love to meet a woman that is focused on God and understands the purpose of us being here. With that being said I would love to meet someone that respects me and can accept my hobbies which include cars and motorcycles. Finally, a woman that I can learn different things from.

Cordelia · Aug 24, 2004

Lol, I hope he'll be like me in a lot of ways...in terms of interests, ambitions, taste, maturity. My worst relationships (or attempts at relationships) have been with people I had little or nothing in common with. But then again, I hope he'll have had a lot more life experience than me and know more about life than I do. I want somebody I can learn from, who'll take me under his wing

invisiblebabe · Aug 24, 2004

Well, it's given that nobody is going to be your clone (unless, of course, you just went to the lab today and paid them a lot of money... but even then, you sure couldn't marry your clone! ).

However, I think it is best (and this may also be because I am rather far from the norm in many ways, both experiences and personality) that my future spouse is more like me than different from me. Does he need to exhibit more leadership qualities than I do? Yes. Does he have to like every single thing I do? Of course not. So, there will be some differences, which is a good thing. But fundamentally (esp. in terms of worldview, theology, and interest/knowledge of such things....also experiences to some degree....ie i could not imagine myself with someone over 8 or 9 yrs older, or sexually experienced, because that is just too far from my own experience for me to be able to relate to a person on a romantic level), I think we should have more in common than not.

PetraFan007 · Aug 25, 2004

There is no woman in the entire world like me.

But what I'd like is:

Requirements

Female

Christian

Always stands up for me

Trusts me

100% Devotion, only God before me

Isnt stuck in her own world all the time

What Id like

Attractive

Musically Talented (singing is a plus!!!!)

Creative

Thoughtful

Awesome personality

Crazy for Jesus

Someone who spurs me on in Christ

Ability to broaden her horizons to things that I like (and same for meJ)

Ideal Spouse

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