What do you think is a good age difference between your children? We had ours 3 in just over 4 yrs, it was fun when they were younger. But now when they are in college I kind of wish they were more spread out.
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Ideal age difference between children?
- Thread starter chriso
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Mine are just shy of 4 years apart. Its hard to imagine their college years at this point -- they are 3 and 7. I think 4 years was the minimum that my spouse and I could deal with.... We're constanly exhausted as it is! I've appreciated having long periods of time to devote to each baby -- never really having my attention to drastically pulled in different directions. Its helped me to enjoy and know each of them. And also, it was healthy for my body and mind to have so much time to recover from childbirth between babies.
On the other hand -- the relationship between siblings is often something of a strain. They love each other and they try very hard to be good to each other... but they have such different interests and levels of ability that it is hard for them to enjoy playing together. As a result, I've ended up having to be a "playmate" to one of the other most of the time. Sometimes I look longingly at siblings who are spaced closer together, who are past their toddler years, and who spend hours and hours enjoying each other as playmates.
The "ideal" probably varies a lot from family to family. If we ever have another child -- it will be a long time from now, and the spacing will be even more spread out! But that'll be fine because I'll have live-in helpers (my 2 sons.)
On the other hand -- the relationship between siblings is often something of a strain. They love each other and they try very hard to be good to each other... but they have such different interests and levels of ability that it is hard for them to enjoy playing together. As a result, I've ended up having to be a "playmate" to one of the other most of the time. Sometimes I look longingly at siblings who are spaced closer together, who are past their toddler years, and who spend hours and hours enjoying each other as playmates.
The "ideal" probably varies a lot from family to family. If we ever have another child -- it will be a long time from now, and the spacing will be even more spread out! But that'll be fine because I'll have live-in helpers (my 2 sons.)
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Super Gnat
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Physically, IIRC 18 months to 2 years between pregnancies is ideal. Longer isn't too bad, but shorter could be bad depending on the woman's body.
As far as growing up -- I'm not married and have no kids, so I can't speak to that.
As far as growing up -- I'm not married and have no kids, so I can't speak to that.
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ChristianMommy
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Our daughter turned 2 in June and we are currently trying to concieve because we don't want too much age difference between them. Both my husband and I are the babies of our respective families (10 years apart from our next sibling) and we realize how difficult that was for us. My niece is 6 and the age difference between her and our daughter seems really good.
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ukok
Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and Emotional
i don't think there is an 'ideal' age difference, when God grants you such a blessing as pregnancy, just praise the Lord that he thought you worthy enough to recieve such a precious gift of motherhood. I don't feel that i deserve to be a mother, but God thought differently. I know that it can be demanding having children, despite the age differences, but i feel it important not to lose sight of what God wants. When the right time is, is when God bestows upon us that wonderful privilidge of parenthood.
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My kids are 4 years apart we did not plan it it just worked out that way. When my daughter was born I was only 18 so we knew having another to soon would not be ideal. Actually, when my daughter was born I did not have that urge to try for another child until my daughter almost in school. When my daughter started pre-school it worked out great!
I had my newborn son to bond with while my daughter learned to be a"big" girl.
Having her in school took a little strain off me at least for a few hours. Now my son is in preK and my daughter is a 4th grader. And now I have the urge for another baby! I'm 27 soon to be 28 in Nov I feel like my bio clock is telling me I am ready for #3, but trying to convince hubby is another story!
I had my newborn son to bond with while my daughter learned to be a"big" girl.
Having her in school took a little strain off me at least for a few hours. Now my son is in preK and my daughter is a 4th grader. And now I have the urge for another baby! I'm 27 soon to be 28 in Nov I feel like my bio clock is telling me I am ready for #3, but trying to convince hubby is another story!
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sunshine
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my brother and I are only 14 months apart. we've always been the best of friends, and part of the reason is because we're so close in age. we shared the same toys, and played together all the time when we were small. now that we're older, it's like we're the same age, we understand eachother really well after sharing similar childhood experiences and coming from the same background and family.
a close age difference worked really well in our case, but I'm not sure it's for everyone!
a close age difference worked really well in our case, but I'm not sure it's for everyone!
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I have 3 kids 16,12 and one that will be 2 in December. I I like 4 years just for the private time with each child, but in the end it's up to you (really God). Don't worry much about closeness it will happen if not at first then later as they get older.
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the Colonel
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Pick up a copy of "The New Birth Order Book" by Dr. Kevin Leman, a Christian. It has amazing insight into how the order in which children are born (1st child, middle child, baby, only child, etc.) has incredible impact on your personality. He also has a chapter on what your question is: what is a good age spread between siblings. I'll sum it up for you: 3 years. He explains why in his book. Good stuff. You'll really enjoy reading it.
--the Colonel
--the Colonel
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We've got 4 years between our girls and I think it's great! My oldest is old enough to help w/ most everything and my youngest thinks her sis is the coolest, they usually play well together and my oldest is now working on teaching my 2yr old how to read!
Peace~
Heather
Peace~
Heather
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I have three. The oldest one just turned three at the end of September and the youngest just turned six months a few days ago. I have been pregnant and or nursing for over three years! I'm exhausted! My older two are 17 months apart and have a ball together. The youngest is working hard to be a part of the fun. I don't mind the exhaustion so much. I love my kiddos and they make it all worth it!
I really wanted to have them in even numbers. Two at a time would have been fine with me. I got pregnant before I expected with the third and, at the time, decided we would have a fourth soon after the third, but a body can only take so much. That third pregnancy was hard and did strange things to me. I think it is good to take a break between pregnancies and wait until you are ready for another. If you feel ready, go for it and God will decide when it happens.
I really wanted to have them in even numbers. Two at a time would have been fine with me. I got pregnant before I expected with the third and, at the time, decided we would have a fourth soon after the third, but a body can only take so much. That third pregnancy was hard and did strange things to me. I think it is good to take a break between pregnancies and wait until you are ready for another. If you feel ready, go for it and God will decide when it happens.
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